Thursday, February 21, 2013

Setting P 101 - How To Meet and Keep ‘The One’

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Meeting people is probably not new of us, I often imagine that no matter how goofy a guy is, he should at least be able to “parole” a lady (albeit a likewise goofy one),but as it turns out many of us truly aren’t bold enough to step up to ladies.

How do you meet good women?

Honestly there are no theoretically good and bad places to meet women while night clubs are not always bad choices as long as one keeps it in mind that a lady you take to your apartment on first meeting doesn’t expect you to call afterwards (google the word one night stand and you'll understand what I mean) . The key to meeting and getting to know a woman is finding a common ground on which to start a conversation. That said, the easiest platform is always the church Aha!!

Though, you might need a bit of luck on your side that you seat beside a good looking unmarried "neighbour", since you will get to share various messages and chants from the pastor with your “neighbour”, you even get to hold hands while sharing the grace. So it shouldn’t be that difficult to score a game. Pay attention and try to capture whatever caught her interest during the service. You may ask what she thought about the music, the sermon or any other thing that went on. Honestly, you really do not have to pay attention to any she says, your sole aim is to get her number when all is said and done!

Another good place to meet women is at business seminars. Many young people who look to find purpose in their lives love to attend such meetings. Just like church, seminars are a good place to network and socialize. It also helps when the seminar was very motivating or where food was served, either ways everyone feels high spirited and eager to chat about their wonderful ideas. Again, all you need to do is nod and smile at the right pauses while she speaks and when she’s about to laugh you laugh along too.

After the first meeting, how to proceed:

Just as football formation ranges from the 4-4-2s, 4-3-3s and much more, in terms of following up after your first conversation, one golden rule stands: “don’t call, call, text, then call”

Please! Don’t call five minutes after getting her number; it’s very leechy. However, you can call 6-24 hours later to chat about her day or basically to flirt gently with her.

Random sporadic text messages always hit the mark better than programmed morning and bedtime messages. Amidst other reasons such as you not being the only one bugging her with a.m and p.m messages, it makes her imagine you were thinking about her throughout your day.

Call not later than three days (not earlier than 30 hours) after your first meeting to book a date.

Never barge into a woman’s life. If you want to ask her out on a date, the worst move is to ask impromptu. Always give them a few days in advance. And if she declines, then make it her prerogative to set a favourable time.

The first date

The first date is all about her: she does 99% of the talking; you do 99% of the listening, so try to set a balance between casual, sensual and formal.

Be formal: Get the door for her, pull out her seat, help her with her order.

Be casual: Commend her hairdo, joke about stuff, smile and be relaxed.

Be sensual: at the RIGHT time, hold her hands even if it’s for a minute, gently nudge her when she makes a joke.

By the way, the guy pays the bills on the first date, no stories!

Mind your biz and that includes her boyfriend!

There might always be another guy in a woman’s life, so stop chasing after fallow grounds only. Rather make it important to strengthen the relationship bond you two share by investing time and money (and any other resources that apply). Also, try your best to sway discussions away from her boyfriend because the more she makes you aware of her boyfriend, the more the tides turn against you.

Somehow, if you sense at any point in time that she is happy in her other relationship and shows some reluctance in pursuing a new one; then just back off, don’t be a jerk! On  the other hand, Once you have formed a bond and understand each other, all which is left is to take it one day at a time.

Women are truly a complex whole; it’s no use trying to figure them out. Some enjoy seeing you get mad (not unhappy; just stupid angry mad), while some others would want to have the exclusive right to all of your time. Never the less, their love is deep and nurturing once you get to know them.

So hopefully you are reading this post in a crowded place, look around for the most likely female, Walk up to her and just say hi. It might just be your lucky break!


Author : Amokeodo Tobiloba


  1. hi, tnx for this. But am female. I met this guy recently and we exchaged business card. That same evening he asked for a date the following day. Though I would have obliged, he said he would close late, it means i will be waiting for him at my office, so I didnt. He asked for another date but it is always late and am wondering if there is no weekends. Am just thinking if i should suggest weekend to him or ask him for a date one of theses days as he has not called me since i declined his last offer.

    1. I think you should call and ask, maybe he assumed you always rejected him cos you weren't interested. However, try to do some background check, for instance, is he married, or have a girlfriend he reserves his weekend for?

  2. hmmmm...quite interestin although am female 2..i jus met a gal or shud i say dis gal saw my pic in his cousin sister's phone and he get 2 like it and he asked her 2 introduce me 2 him,,so she did and we want out 4 a date and he promise anoda is geten 2 a week now i has't cal or even text scared of calin him,i don't want him 2 tink dat am i love him 2 much..

    1. Don't call him. He's probably no more interested.

  3. sleeping with a girl on the first date does not necessarily mean she is a bad girl, I knw of a couple whom I judged based on dat but alas! They married and have bn for 14 years now..

    1. Totally agree. The writer did not say that, only that some one-night-standers may not be interested in a relationship. But it's up to the guy to follow it up if he's keen.

  4. I love your posts Myne. There's this guy, i met him sometime ago but my problem is, he isn't consistent. We have gone out once and after that, the chats and calls stopped for a long time. Whenever i go to his work place cos he works in a bank near my office, i ignore him and get down to business with the tellers but immediately i leave, he calls me and gets all sober on the phone as though i'm not interested in him. I feel he's the ladies man as every lady who walks into his banking hall wants his number and i also feel he doesn't know what he wants either cos whenever he remembers to contact me, he tells me that i feel i'm too good for him. Sincerely, i wish i could forget that we ever spoke cos i'm tired of his roller coaster movements but again, i wonder if i should acknowledge him more often.
    What's your advice?

    1. Thank you, Adaeze. Like you, I think this guy is still playing the field and has not made up his mind on who he really wants! When a guy is serious, you'll definitely know.

      Do you want me to publish this for more comments?

    2. I believe that you are absolutely right, Myne.

    3. Please do Myne. Thank you so much.
      The day after I sent in my comment, i decided to call him, my thoughts were; i had not been fair enough to him and i really need to drop my uptight attitude. When we spoke, he said i'm aggressive and i fight against my emotions. He said i'm head over heels in-love with him or perhaps in a deep crush but maybe too shy to express my feelings....( of course i'm not, i just think he's a very presentable guy who could be what i want in a husband in the near future)
      Whenever i go to the bank where he works, i'm usually in the company of a friend and he complained that i tell her everything about him. He also made mention of the fact that i'm so close to some Nigerian celebrities due to the nature of my work thus, i have no time for a 'broke guy' like himself.
      My problem is, i have only gone out on a date with this guy once and he has concluded this much about me.
      We spoke for over an hour over the phone and he promised to call me after church the next day which was Sunday(Yesterday) but he didn't call. I spoke to my mom about it and she said that 'if he had me in mind, he would have called me back' although my sister opposed to that thought. I personally felt he was weighing me, i think he wanted to see if i would call him and remind him about his promise to call but unfortunately I'm not that kind of person. I have never chased a guy before, they always come naturally and I wade most of them off because I feel I have to see something more in them to take the next step. I know i liked this guy from the moment i met him, and i sense the feeling is mutual because from his colleagues point of view, the guy never takes extra interest in any other girl that comes around him, most times,it's the girls that try hard to get his number.
      I am more confused of his actions because, whenever i am around, he tries to make everyone stay off me by either holding my hands or touching my hair but after that, he doesn't call often but wait till weeks later to claim that i have forgotten him.
      I really want to move on and stop associating with him entirely but i'm plagued by the fact that it might not be the right step after all.

    4. I once had a toaster like that and its been years but he still calls to tell me stuff like 'you've fashied me' and i've been in a relationship for more than a year. I think u should forget the guy all together, he is clearly not serious about you. He has given you those reasons because he wants a back up break up line if it doesn't work out so if you end up dating he would just say he didnt think you guys are serious enough, you might even get the 'i dont know where we are headed' or i'm not sure i want to commit' line, guys will say anything to help their friends get a girl, so never beleive what his friends or colleagues say just trust ur instincts and i have a feeling its telling you that he is stringing you along, its only fine if you want to be strung along but if you dont just forget about him, if he wanted something serious he would have done something more concrete by now. This is probably not what you want to hear but its the truth take it from someone who has been there. You should also stop letting him touch you hair and stuff someone serious might be observing and may think you guys are dating

  5. I believe he's playing games & uncertain of what he really wants, you have invested too much time and energy into him. You are young and beautiful, the bible says Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. KJV Proverbs 18:22


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