Thursday, February 28, 2013

Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-10

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

I am still trying my best to take the children to another province to begin our lives again. I know that if I am better educated, my children will be better for it. I will be more financially able to provide for them, and they will not have the constant influence of C who keeps on telling them that education is not important. He mocks my educational goals. The children says that he says all this 'book book and school school thing is not important'. I, on the other hand, cannot stress enough how important an education is to their lives. So, they're getting conflicting messages. My son recently tore up a homework paper saying it wasn't important, and that, of course, is because of the message that has been hammered into his head by C.

My mother's youngest brother moved here from the UK in August 2012. He is not much older than I am, and my mom raised him, so I often call him my brother. He started to talk to C immediately when he arrived, and C assured him that this time if I wanted to go to school that he would not do anything to stop me. My uncle let him know that I would not be able to leave the children behind and go to school, so they would need to come with me. C agreed. My brother told me, and I immediately told C that I wanted it documented by the courts. He said he would get his lawyer to do it. I said “Let's just go and get a consent order from the courts, so we will not need a lawyer.” He refused.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-9

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

After I had bathed and got dressed, I called a woman called Uyi who was mostly looking after the children at that point. I told her to please come over as soon as possible, that C was raging, and I had to go to work, but that I was afraid of leaving him alone with the children, seeing as he was so angry. I felt that if there was another person in the house, he would not be able to do anything to them. Uyi said she was in Vancouver and that she would come very soon.

I called another person from the church, and he was fairly new at the time. His name was Manas. I wanted there to be somebody around C to provide a buffer between him and the children, seeing as he was in such a very angry state of mind. Manas soon arrived with another man called Emmanuel. These were both young guys in their early 30s, I believe. Also, unbeknownst to me, there was a third person, called Michael, who was in the car who had driven them down. I met them at the door and I asked them to come in. I said, “Please wait until Uyi arrives.” C then came down and asked them to leave. I gave Manas my key and I said, “I invited you, if he locks you out, just open the door and come in.” C said, “Okay, you're not going to work then! Get back inside!” And he started to drag me back in. I fought him off, and I think one of them held him, and I asked the men again to please  wait for Uyi, who was going to arrive soon. I wanted there to be somebody there with my kids and with him. So he said, “Okay, if you guys want to stay, that's fine, but I'm taking the children and I'm going to go out.” So when I got outside to go to work, I went to the van that he usually drove – it was my van, I had got it – and I disabled the gears. That way he would be unable to drive the car with the kids in it, seeing how enraged he was. I went to work.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-8

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

After C had called me a baby killer and a murderer, even after I had suffered through the ordeal I had just suffered through, and humiliated me in front of people, I knew I could no longer live with him. I made up my mind to move with the children once I was well enough to.  At this time also, a woman from Nigeria came to visit her daughter who was a student here. She said she was a bishop and that she had told C she wanted to meet me. So, she came to the house. I was still ill and in bed, and she advised me to take my children and to return to Nigeria. I said, “No, I have nothing to go back to in Nigeria, and I have a good job here, and I will be able to care for my kids here once I am feeling better.” She said, “Look how sick you are. You need to be taken care of. Go home. Go to your mother.” And I said, “No, I am fine. I am already recovering. I will soon be much better.” I thanked her and I said, “I will survive. I am well. Very soon I will be back to work.” I reiterated to her that I was making good income, and that when I was sufficiently recovered I would take the children to Disneyland and just other child-centered resorts so that they could start making some happy memories.

To my intense surprise, after about a week after this woman that said she was a bishop had come and visited, I was served court documents. C had gone to court and got an order that said I was not allowed to take the children out of BC without the express written permission of the courts. He said that the bishop woman had told him that I was planning to leave Canada. That really was the absolute last straw for me. I packed up all of his clothes from his room, I threw then all outside. His shoes, his jackets, just everything – I threw them all outside, I was done. I decided that if I was going contrary to the bible, that I didn't care. That I could not live this hell for a single day longer.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-7

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Some names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

My daughter was born in the spring of 2006. She had a foot deformity at birth. I started to take her to the pediatric orthopedist when she was only four months old. The morning she was born, I had been woken up at about 6:00 am by intense labour pains. I had a quick shower and I went to the kitchen to get breakfast for David, who would soon wake up since I was gone from the bed. C came out while I was in the kitchen and said, “Where are you going so early?” I said, “The baby is coming so I have to go to the hospital. I am getting food for David. If you will get him, I will get his food and you can drive me to the hospital.” Well, he said, no, he wasn't going to drive me, he was going to stay at home and look after David. I said David could come, just drive me and drop me and then you can go back, but he still refused.

I called Evelyn's mother, Hannah, and asked her if she could come drive me to the hospital, but I'm not sure what delayed her, and the times were getting shorter and shorter between  my contractions. So, I just went to my car and I drove myself to the hospital. When I arrived at the hospital I parked and I started to walk toward the family birthing unit.  I was walking and just trying to hold on to the sides of the wall, I was in so much pain. I looked up and there was a wonderful woman standing beside me. She looked at me and she said, “Oh my god, you're in labour!” She ran for a wheelchair, which she brought back and sat me in, and then pushed me to the reception. I told them there as were checking my preregistration that I was very close to delivery. I said, “I can feel the baby coming!” And they rushed me to a room. I could also hear them paging the doctor stat. Two nurses were putting sheets on the mattress with a plastic cover, and another one was setting up an IV pole. The one nurse kept saying, “Are you pushing? Stop pushing!” Well, I couldn't hold back. While they were still trying to get the bed made, I pushed the other nurse aside, got on the bed, and I just had my baby. It was about 9:00 am by then. One push – boom – and she was out, just screaming. She was born so fast, her eyes were blood shot for two days afterwards. She was the most adorable baby girl I had ever seen, and I was completely, just completely in love with her. And my love for my dear Ctine has only grown more and more as each day reveals a new aspect of the beautiful, wonderful, kind, cheerful, loving girl that she is – my Ctine.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-6

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

I continued to dote on my son. I couldn't get enough of him. I breast fed him exclusively. I spent every dollar I had on his clothes, his books, and his toys. I started to read to him before he was 4 months old, and David could read by the time he was 4 years old. I also, of course, had to go back to work at the Surrey Tax Centre, after he was 4 months old. My maternity employment insurance benefits were not very much, and I had to think about the baby as well. I was breastfeeding, but we lived only about a 5-minute drive from the Tax Centre, so on my breaks (I had two half-hour breaks), I would run home and feed him. I did not know at that point about expressing breast milk. I was on my own. I had no friends with whom I could discuss things like expressing milk.

C and Mary got even more close at this point, and after C had prevented me from going to bury my father, I did not want to stick around the house and watch he and Mary carrying on in front of me, so I figured I better go back to work – and I did.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-5

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

I now had to come to terms with the fact that, whether I liked it or not, and that whether I wanted to or not, that I was involved with the church. I was, after all, in the sight of all the world, apparently married to him. I was the 'pastor's wife'. Nobody knew my secrets, or my hurt, or my pain. Human beings are, for the most part, about themselves. How could I have expected the people that came to church to be different? “Church is like a hospital,” to quote my pastor today, Pastor Wes Daase, “everyone comes to be treated, and if in the course of being treated you are able to help others, than you are doing well.” And I now know that part of healing is helping others to heal as well.

Anyway, nobody knew of the anguish that I was in, and if they suspected anything, well nobody ever said a word to me. People kept coming to me for different reasons. Mostly it was to complain about C – how he would never close on time, how when you told him something he either said it on the pulpit or he said it to other people. That was a really disgraceful aspect of him. He was a gigantic gossip, and he soon came to be known all around the community that you could never tell him anything and expect it to be kept confidential. It didn't matter how big or small it was, he would soon spread the news around. I really attributed this to his having too much time on his hands, and also he had absolutely no concept of time. Up until I ran from him in 2009, I had never, ever, seen him be on time for anything, not even once.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-4

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

I kept on trying to call my supervisor, and soon started to get worried about not being able to return to my job, or even to get a new job. I had only ever attended three job interviews in Canada, and all three times, I had got the jobs, so I was really worried about not even getting a single call about a job. I began to be afraid that C had indeed put a curse on me and that was why I was unable to get a job.

Rose and I attended Calvary Worship Centre, a predominantly black church in Burnaby at the time, pastored by a Ghanaian, and after my ordeal in Ghana, I was loathe to have anything to do with any other Ghanaian; but the pastor of that church called me up and asked me to bring C to the church. He and his wife had been very kind to me when I first arrived in Canada, so I took C to his church to meet him. I hadn’t been going to church since coming to Canada with C. He had been going out and about, and I don’t recall now if Rose took him to Calvary Worship first.

When he came back from the church, he decided he was going to start his own church. He said he would start by having prayers for people there in the basement suite. He kept going to Calvary Worship, and was soon telling people he would perform deliverance on them and cast out whatever demons was causing any problems in their lives. I had many comments that I really badly wanted to make, but since most of them would be vitriolic in nature, I kept them to myself.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-3

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

I stopped thinking about running away, or not being married to C. I had no plans for escape. I was trapped and that was it. I was going to stay married and take him to Canada. Things would be better there I promised myself. I said C would not be able to beat me with a stick or do all the other evil things he had done to me, or rape me just whenever he felt like it. I would be in a safe environment, and maybe once he was in Canada, he would think I wasn’t good enough for him, or he would find another woman to prey on. I started feeling a bit hopeful. I was sick of being in Ghana by now. I decided to petition the High Commissioner to allow for C’s processing to be expedited so that I could return home to Canada.

I had given up my job, my apartment, sold my car, and borrowed some money from my friend Twy to add to what I had saved up. All of that was exhausted. I was also constantly on the verge of a major asthma attack due to the poorer air quality, and my inhalers were nearly gone. I needed to get out of Ghana.  I also thought that I was pregnant, because I hadn’t had a period in 3 months and was suffering severe nausea and vomiting.  Now, I wonder if I really was, and had miscarried early or if the severe stress and pressure that I was under had caused a hormonal imbalance. I guess I’ll never know.

The High Commission soon answered and agreed that the application was straight forward, and that C could come for his medical forms. He went to Accra to pick them up. I stayed in the room and threw up. I paid for the medicals to be done, and soon the results were out. I was really looking forward to returning to Canada. I longed to breathe easier, and to return to school as soon as possible. Schooling was my initial reason for moving to Canada, and I could not lose sight of that goal. After C got his Permanent Resident visa, I told him that I would return to Canada, in order to look for money to send to him to come, but he refused totally.

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Please Help Amaka Munonye Get Her Children Back-2

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Before you start reading, let me repeat that this is a long story [10 pages], and if you do not read to the end, you may not fully get it. Amaka Munonye is a Nigerian resident in BC, Canada and in the process of getting a divorce from her Ghanaian husband. At this stage, all you read are her side of the story. Their case is in court and she is afraid that if she keeps silent, she may lose custody of her children. She has shared the following story on her blog and I've been asked to help publicize it. If you know anyway to help, please do, or leave a comment in a respectful manner. Beyond that, I believe this is a story many women stand to learn a lot from. Thanks.

*Names have been initialed to protect third party privacy.

The rest of my days in Ghana were a blur. I stayed for about a month, which I spent mostly vomiting from anxiety, and the stress of how I was going to inform my parents about the awful things that had happened to me. Eventually, I did not have the courage to go to Nigeria, so I returned to Canada, without going home to Nigeria knowing that my life was over. Back home in Canada, I got a new job at the then Revenue Canada, it was part of the Public service, and I still wanted to fulfill my promise of service to my adopted homeland. I didn’t think I would be able to pass the physical tests for the army or the police, so I was happy to get into Revenue Canada. I started to work for the GST section and then as an Error Inspections agent in the T1 individual returns section. I started to eat to mask my misery. I would eat a 325g box of Rice Krispies with over half of a 1.5L bowl of ice cream in one sitting until I was so full, I would start to vomit.

A German friend of mine Udo who I hadn't seen in years was in Vancouver, saw me at the convention center and came to talk to me. I must have seemed like a madwoman to Udo I said “Sorry Udo, I cannot talk to you. I cannot be near you,” and just ran from him. He couldn't have imagined that in my complete fear of C that I was trying to save his life and/or my life too. I continued to work and to send money to C.

The phone calls were unending. I had given up all hope by then. I called my sister Ifeoma, and told her everything. She said she would go to a pastor in Redeemed church who she was sure was a real pastor, and she could ask. She called me back within a week to say that she couldn't see a Redeemed Church pastor, that it took too long, but that she had been to a church called Mountain of Fire and Miracles, and that she had been told that a blood covenant was a deadly thing, and that two people involved had to break it in agreement, if at all, and also that it frequently involved death. My sister and I agreed that I was completely trapped, and that I really had no choice but to put in my sponsorship papers for him.

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Fried Plantain With Tomato Stew and Chicken

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Fried plantain is also called Dodo in Nigeria. The usually ripe plantain is cut in slices, diced or chopped and deep fried in oil till it is done, about 8 - 10 mins on medium heat. We don't often eat fried food, I know it's not too good for you as one gets older, but once in a while you just want to chill and eat some foods of your childhood or simply have the variety available. I also enjoy unripe plantain, boiled or cooked, see recipes here and here, or ripe baked plantain here.

Someone moaned on my Lasagna post about how much calories the meal must have, and I responded by saying that for me, when it comes to healthy eating, I can't count calories. Generally, I'm more spontaneous than methodical and so choosing what to eat, when, and how much, is easier for me than being so detailed on each meal, or cutting out some meals entirely. I promise though, after this, I'll post some healthy eating, salads and stuff, LOL...

BTW, I do not deep fry my dodo, I use just enough oil to cover the bottom of the fry pan. I use medium heat and turn over the plantain a couple of times.

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Talking to the Men Who Rape Syndicated on BlogHer

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Some of you may remember this post, "Let's Talk to the Men Who Rape, Shall we?", where I talked about how we can reduce incidences of rape by talking to men also and not just to women. That post went on to get a response from Kenechi Uzochukwu, published on Ynaija, which in turn spawned a host of articles and conversation on the topic of rape in Nigeria. It remains one of the best articles on this blog, and was recently picked up by BlogHer for syndication on their website.

"BlogHer is the largest community of women who blog: 55 million unique visitors per month (January 2013, Nielsen Site Census). Engaged, influential and info-savvy, these women come to BlogHer to seek and share advice, opinions and recommendations. BlogHer’s team works hard to bring you the best and brightest conversations, writers and speakers – online and in person."

I'm so excited to have been featured among the "best and brightest" of women blogging around the world, and to have my work read by that many people? WOW! I also work with BlogHer's Publishing and Ad Network to promote this site and get revenue, as well as reading their amazing site daily for news, posts, and topics that affect women in America and globally. If you've not visited them before, I recommend you do so today.

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Watch the SVU Episode Inspired by Chris Brown and Rihanna

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The NBC series, Law & Order: SVU, frequently draws inspiration from real life for a lot of their episodes, and have portrayed the DSK rape case, illegal guns entering the US black market through the CIA in Mexico, among others. In this, their latest episode, the theme is domestic violence based loosely on Chris Brown and Rihanna and the pre-2009 Grammy incident that became a media circus.

On the show, Caleb Bryant’s character plays CB and Micha stands in for Rihanna. The plot not only name checked them, in addition to the male character having the same initials, it also referenced a photo of the battered female singer and Caleb wearing a bowtie for one of his TV interviews just like Chris Brown did.

Loads of the music star's Twitter fans have condemned the show and how the storyline played out. I wrote my own review here. Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together, it's left for them to make it work for better rather than for worse.

Watch the full episode below.

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An Opportunity For Real Life Match Making

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I have never done this before but it has been a wish of mine, and now it seems I have the opportunity to do it right. I got this email below from a reader of this blog who is open to being matched with ladies ready for a serious relationship leading to marriage, and who live in the United States.

Hello Myne,

Compliments of the season,
I stumbled into your blog site and I find it very interesting. I must say congratulations on all you have achieved. I will like to know if you are involved in matching persons who are interested in marriage. If no, can we try something out through you ?
I am a Nigerian professional currently in the Carribean. I visit the US regularly, and my ultimate goal is to move over there, so I am looking earnestly for a suitable wifey at this time.

Many thanks, Peter Branson ( Not real name )

If you are interested, please send me an email at myne@mynewhitman.com and we'll take it from there. If you know someone who may be but doesn't read this blog, do share. Please only serious comments and emails, thanks.

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Dear Myne - He Didn't Buy Me Anything For Valentine

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Good day. I have been in a relationship since November last year. We met on Facebook and became fast friends. We are from the same place and live in the same city so we met offline quickly and soon began our relationship.

 At 1st we talked everyday and chatted on BBM constantly. That was short lived as before long, he started being tied up with work and he really works - from Monday to Friday then on Saturday also till 12noon. So the calls dwindled. I realised that I was the one doing everything in the relationship. When I talk to him about this, he apologises and promises to do better.

Well, Vals day came and what I got was Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie via bbm. No call, no text (he's never sent me a love text by the way) not evn a dp on bbm. This, while I spent about 20k getting him stuff for vals day. Not that I regret what I spent because I love making people feel loved and special.

When I went to his house that evening, he was very happy about the cake and other stuff I got for him. I told him I wasn't happy that he didn't get anything for me. His excuse was that he was broke. That really hurt me because although I know he spent money moving to his new place, it wasn't like I was expecting a car or a yatch. No matter how small, its the thought that matters.

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Jason Njoku - February Man Candy #28

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Jason Njoku is an enterpreneur and the founder of Iroko Partners, ownersof IrokoTV, IroKing and some other web properties. He just last year got married to Mary Remmy, Nollywood actress. Jason was a speaker at the TedxEuston and explored failure and how it can lead to success.


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SVU Predicts Tragedy For Chris Brown and Rihanna

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One of my must see shows on TV is Law & Order: SVU (NBC), and after last weeks episode, they showed a preview of today's show. A beautiful young hip-hop star is beaten up by her boyfriend and it becomes a media circus when her crime scene pictures make it to the papers and blogs. Sound familiar?

I knew immediately they were referencing the Chris Brown-Rihanna saga from some years ago, and looked forward to seeing what they come up with. This is not the first time they're basing their episodes loosely on real life characters or events. In this case, I was intrigued by the timing with Chris Brown and Rihanna recently back together and talking about how much in love they are with each other.

So how did their episode go? Micha confronts her hip-hop star boyfriend when she sees him flirting with another woman and he beats her up. The witnesses all refuse to testify against him, either afraid to lose their jobs, or losing face. After her wounds heal, so does the assualted Micha. According to her, she's receiving tweets that are either calling her a ho or begging her to forgive him.

Even their producers are in on the cover-up, and play all cards including the race and hip-hop card to get the police to drop the case. Bottom line, they want Micha and Caleb Bryant to keep making money for them. And of course, there is the love card, the two young people are in LOVE. "Their relationship, it's complicated," one of them says.

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Wednesday, February 27, 2013

When Fishes Drown - AfriNolly on Domestic Violence

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When Fishes Drown is a short film entry to the on-going Afrinolly Short Film Competition. Since discovering that The Promise was from that, I have seen most of the other entries, including the documentaries. Most of them are quite good, When Fishes Drown  stands out even more for it's message.

This film, which serves as an advocacy material against domestic violence, tells the story of a young hardworking guy who witnesses domestic violence both at work and at home. He usually turns a deaf ear to these victims, especially his neighbour but soon learns that the simplest actions actually could avert cases of domestic violence.

Director: Soji Ogunnaike
Producer: Bamigbe Onasanya
Screenplay By: Soji Ogunnaike and Arome Ameh
Cast: Seun Kentebe, Wole Ojo, Tana Adelana
Year of Release: 2013

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Leap into Books Giveaway Hop

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This giveaway hop is hosted by I Am a Reader Not a Writer. Several blogs are taking part, with lots of amazing gifts to be won. This is not a leap day year, but we want to carry on the tradition from last year. I want to know the book you're currently reading. Entries close March 7, winner announced here on the 8th and I'll also email them.

My Gift will be a book available on the Book Depository store. One Winner will receive their book(s) of choice (not more than $10) shipped to them. Only people living in countries on the Free Shipping List are eligible. To enter, fill out the Rafflecopter Form below.

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How to Make Lasagna with White Sauce

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Lasagna is one of the more complicated meals I prepare, and one which I'm still learning each time I cook it. Generally, I always make the white sauce myself, but sometimes I just buy Alfredo sauce from the store. This particular recipe with eggs and mozarella cheese is the best of my aresenal.

Ingredients

8 sheets of lasagna pasta
250g of lean ground beef
1 meduim sized white onions diced
2 cloves of garlic - chopped
1 tin of tomatoes sauce
Salt
Nutmeg
Garlic pepper
Spices
Mixed Vegetables

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Kim Kardashian's Love Like a Movie Interview with Eku Edewor

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In this interview, Kim Kardashian talks to Eku Edewor about her role at Darey's Love...Like A Movie, what she thinks of the concert, and Nigerian music in general. She also pays tribute to Goldie, and shares her plans and dreams for the future. OK, I may never start watching her show, but she comes across as a down to earth person in this, probably her first interview I've seen. She says she wants to be remembered as kind to everyone, #kanyeshrug, I wish her the best.

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11 Ways to Deepen and Grow your Relationship

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1. Never go to sleep angry. Try a little tenderness.

2. Apologize, apologize, apologize. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts are crucial—highly predictive of marital happiness. They can be clumsy or funny, even sarcastic—but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy marriage.

3. Some dependency is good, but complete dependency on a partner for all one's needs is an invitation to unhappiness for both partners. We're all dependent to a degree—on friends, mentors, spouses. This is true of men as well as women.

4. Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It's easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself. Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have. Meaningful work—paid or volunteer—has long been one of the most important ways to exercise and fortify a sense of self.

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Finding Styles for Mid-Length Natural Hair

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Before I did the big chop to my hair, there was no transition, or any epiphany or decision to go natural. I consider myself lucky with regards to my hair, which I think I get from my mum, who has long and abundant healthy hair even now in her sixties. My hair is usually full and dark, the edges don't fall off easily, and it can grow.

As some of you have experienced yourselves, or may have guessed, it has not been easy for me to maintain my hair, and have it growing and healthy at an optimal level. And this is beyond that the hair is relaxed or in it's natural curly state. As a Nigerian who grew up in Nigeria, I am used to handing my hair over to salon stylists, and barely adding enough daily hair cream to get by. I'm now learning how to do it myself.

Let me not lie though, I still go to the salon regularly, maybe like once every couple of months for deep conditioning, a proper comb out, and sometimes to get the hair flat-ironed.

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Online Chatting Brings People Closer than Ever

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Online chatting has already proven to be a great help in connecting people in more ways than one. It’s a useful tool that allows people to form a bond and stay connected whenever and wherever they are in the world. The people use it to stay close with their friends and families even when they’re thousands of miles away from them.

Communication has already played a vital role for mankind since time immemorial. That’s why it’s not surprising that the methods of doing so gradually improved as time progressed, with technology becoming the very backbone of it.

The need for communicating with one another has become so dire that rapid advancement in technology in this field has been made to provide for the growing needs of the people who wanted to stay connected with each other even when they’re thousands of miles apart. And thus, it gave birth to mobile phones and of course, online chatting.

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Uti Nwachukwu - February Man Candy #27

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Uti Nwachukwu won the Big Brother Africa show and has translated his success into a career in entertainment as an actor, host and presenter.

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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

#NigerianBloggers Trending on Twitter [Yabbis]

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I am terrible at using twitter, most of my posts are automated tweets of my blog posts, but once in a while I try to join in the conversation. Today, I logged on and noticed that #NigerianBloggers was trending in the tweets coming from Nigeria, so I clicked over to find out what the fuss was about. Laughter wan kill me, the tweets are so funny! The tweets are yabbing us bloggers who are mostly celebrity and gossip blogs, and the kinds of news we break, especially the headlines. See the tweets below...

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Moving On or Out of a Relationship After Infidelity

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When a man and a woman enter an exclusive relationship, the assumption or expectation is that they would remain faithful to each other. In a marriage you actually swear it. But this doesn't stop either party sometimes to look outside, for someone else to meet their sexual or emotional needs.

Therefore, finding out that your partner, whether married or still dating, has cheated on you can be a huge blow. When this happens, so many questions run through the mind of the person whose trust has been broken. Atala and I have attempted to answer those question with practical tips on how to decide whether to remain or leave the relationship.

How can I get past the fact that my man was intimate with somebody else? 

Well, this is a matter very much of your feelings, and unfortunately feelings cannot simply be switched on or off, so to some extent, it will take time and a forgiving mindset from your part.

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OC Ukeje - February Man Candy #26

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OC Ukeje is one of the new and quite talented actors in Nollywood. He was nominated by one of you readers and though I've not seen any of his movies, I've seen and liked some of the previews and look forward to watching the full films.

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Dear Myne - How Do I know if She's Interested in Me?

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Good day Myne. I m an avid follower of your blog. I love your topics as I can relate to and I've learnt a lot from many of them. If I am asked to describe myself, I would say I am an hopeless romantic who still believes in real love. I was first attracted to a girl when I was a teenager at an annual religious convention. I saw this girl from afar twice and have not seen her since then. But though I didn't have any means of contacting her, I was madly in love with her for 6 yrs.

Late last year, I met a girl in my neighbourhood in Lagos on my return from my national youth service. I didn't quite fall in love at first sight but I kinda liked her and wanted to get to know her more. She began coming around more often - in the evenings, - to watch films on my laptop. She was so free with my cousins and aunt and the neighbours when she came that I thought she had always been coming around during my absence. I didn't know then but I later discovered she only began coming around while I was there.

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How to Make Nsala Soup - also called White Soup

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Ofe Nsala is one of the soups I believe that is native to Asaba, it is also prepared in other parts of Nigeria and called White soup in general because most times, it is cooked without palm oil. The pale greenish color comes from the utazizi leaf and maybe some of the spices.

Nsala is sometimes made for new mothers, and should be usually liquid enough to be sipped from a spoon, but some also prefer the thicker version. There are probably as many recipes for cooking Nsala as there are people who have ever cooked it, but this is just my simple recipe.

Ingredients

5 pounds of your choice of meat, here I use Chicken Drunsticks
6 Cafish Filets
1 medium onion, chopped
1 large tomato, diced in large pieces
2 tablespoons of ground crayfish
3 teaspoons of ground pepper
2 cubes of maggi chicken
2 tablespoons of ground dry Utazizi or Utazi
3 teaspoons of Nsala spices mixture
5 Ladle spoons of poundo yam powder for thickening
Salt to taste

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Omotola Jalade and Husband's PDA at her Birthday Party

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It was Omotola Jalade's birthday some weeks ago, but she was outside Nigeria then. A more private ceremony was held today to celebrate her with her husband and close friends. BankyW shared these pictures on Instagram and titled this one @realomosexy and the Captain... at her surprise birthday party. All together now.. "awwwww" :-)

See more pictures below...

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Monday, February 25, 2013

Janet Jackson is Married, Plans to Adopt Children

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There were a lot of rumors late last year about Janet Jackson's engagement to Wissam Al Mana and the plans for their wedding which included gifts of rolexes and chartered planes and resorts, etc. All that is made up. Janet and Wissam who are actually already married, just released a statement to ET which included the following;

"The rumors regarding an extravagant wedding are simply not true. Last year we were married in a quiet, private and beautiful ceremony. Our wedding gifts to one another were contributions to our respective favorite children's charities. We would appreciate that our privacy is respected and that we are allowed this time for celebration and joy. With love, Wissam and Janet""

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The Onion Apologizes to Quvenzhane Wallis for Offensive Tweet

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Yesterday as the Oscars were going on, The Onion was live tweeting with their usual brand of sarcastic humor. Unfortunately, whoever it was handling the account went off the deep end by targeting 9years old Quvenzhane Wallis who had been nominated for a Best Actress Oscar. The tweet insinuated that most people were not happy about the nomination, and called her the C-word.

Now, I'm one of those who don't mind the N-word like it was used in Django, but I can never see a good way one can use the C-word. It was never an accepted part of language, and has always been a derogatory reference to a woman's private part. I wonder whether the person who wrote that was high on something, how could they pick on young child like that? Bullying is never a good look, and especially not from adults to children.

Quvenzhane is just nine, she may not even know the meaning of the word and now she has to maybe read about it on her twitter timeline if she has one. Maybe some strange journalist might even have asked her what it feels like to be addressed as such at a post-Oscar party. How will she answer? How will her parents explain? Such a slur is vulgar, it is misogynistic, it is racist, and just all round offensive.

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15 Tips On How To Build A Healthy Relationship

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1. Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others. [More - 15 Topics for Couples thinking of Marriage]

2. Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist. [More - Expectations from Relationships]

3. Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love. [More - Love is More than Sex]

4. Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs.  Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.

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Goldie Buried With Tributes From Husband and Denrele

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Goldie [real name Susan Harvey] was buried today at the Ikoyi Vaults and Gardens after her sudden death on Valentine's Day. Her husband, family, Kennis music label and friends were there to bid her farewell. May her soul rest in peace. Below are tributes from her husband Andrew Harvey, pictures of the funeral and tribute from Denrele Edun.

Andrew Harvey's Tribute -

Susan you walked into my life, it was like God sent you as a fresh breath.

I still remember your response to my first love message. You said 'Love killed romeo, sent Diana to an early grave and killed Jack on the Titanic. Forget about love, just have friendship and live long.

Overtime our love grew to a depth I have never known. You were the best years of my life, your smile, your desire to live your dream.

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Family's Official Statement on Justus Esiri's Death

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We are heart broken as we announce the passing of Chief Justus Esiri OON popularly known as the “Village Headmaster”, following a complication from Diabetes.

Chief Justus Esiri OON, was a loving husband, father, grand father, brother, uncle and friend. An Officer of the Order of the Niger (OON), The Otun Amuludun of the Source in Ile-Ife Osun State, and Veteran Nollywood Actor.

He died in the late hours of the 19th of February 2013. Chief Esiri, born on the 6th November 1942 hailed from Oria Abraka, Delta State. He was a strong believer in family values, and a great supporter of Nollywood.

While we mourn the loss of a great man we also celebrate his remarkable life and hope that it serves as an example to the youth to work hard to achieve their dreams, and play their own part in building a greater nation.

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Oscar 2013 Winners - The Complete List

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Jennifer Lawrence won Best Actress Award

We watched the full show of the Oscars live, though we missed the red carpet cos we were out. To make the show more interesting since Seth McFarlane wasn't so great, we took bets on who would win most of the major categories, of the 24, we got 7 each correctly so that was a draw. If you read my Oscars predictions post, you'll know I'm really pleased that Jennifer Lawrence got the Best Actress award, Anne Hathaway got the Best Supporting, and Ang Lee for Life of Pi got Best Director.

See the complete list of winners below...

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[POLL] Boxers or Briefs - What Lies Beneath?

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I personally grew up with most men and boys around me wearing briefs or tighty whities and wife beaters as they are sometimes called, as I grew older, boxers kind of took over. Now, I know there's a middle ground called boxer briefs. So which one are you ladies a fan of, and the guys, which one do you wear?

Vote below, and leave a comment with your reasons. Happy Monday :)

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Seun Osewa - February Man Candy #6

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Seun Osewa is the founder of Nairaland, Africa’s largest and most popular online forum with over 1 million registered users. He was recently recognized by Forbes Africa as one of the 30 Young Entrepreneurs under 30 in Africa, and I've decided to move him to RMD's spot at #6.


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Sunday, February 24, 2013

Watch Episode 1 and 2 of Gidi Up Web Series

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Gidi Up is a new web series from NdaniTV. The story is centered around the lives of four friends in pursuit of happiness, success and independence in Lagos (Las Gidi). However, a few wrong choices quickly turn their Lagos dreams into a Gidi nightmare. Through the 8-part series, Tokunbo (Deyemi Okanlawon), Eki (Oreka Godis), Yvonne ( Somkele Iyamah) and Obi (Karibi Fubura) will deal with love, sex and making a living in one of Africa's biggest cities.

Watch Episode 1 and 2 below...

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Couple Love on the Oscars Red Carpet

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Daniel Day Lewis and Rebecca Miller;

As usual, some Hollywood couples made a date night of the Oscar Awards and turned out in their best for the red carpet. Some couples are becoming favorites of these my couple love series, like Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban, as well as George Clooney and Stacy Kieblar :)

Loads more couple love pictures below...

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Oscar Ready Jennifer Lawrence and Quvenzhane Wallis

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In the run-up to the #Oscars, the two youngest women nominees for Best Actress, Jennifer Lawrence (22) and Quvenzhane Wallis (9), have been picking up various other wins on the awards circuit. With nods, plaques and statues from the Critics Choice Awards, Screen Actors Guild, NAACP, Golden Globes, Independent Spirit Awards, among others, they've become shining stars.

I saw Silver Linings Playbook, loved it, and thought Jennifer Lawrence did an amazing job. She was also great in Hunger Games. I did not see Beasts of the Southern Wild, I've heard great stuff about it, and about Quvenzhane's role which was a major part of the movie.

As they prepare to know who gets the Oscar statue for Best Actress this afternoon, I wish them both good luck. Enjoy some of their lovely red-carpet photos below.

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50Cent Tries To Kiss Erin Andrews at Daytona500

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#thatawkwardmoment when @50cent attempted to kiss @ErinAndrews as she went to interview him during the pre-race event at the on-going Daytona500. Erin Andrews must not be such a big fan of the rapper and actor because gave him the cheek. He took like a gentleman though Twitter went wild, shifting focus from Danica Patrick and the other NASCAR drivers to +50cent and +Erin Andrews.

 GIFs and videos have already been made to memorialize the event :)
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Homeless Man Returns Diamond Engagement Ring

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Sarah Darling from Kansas City, Missouri, recently lost and found her, not inexpensive, diamond engagement ring. She removed it for a while, and dropped it off by mistake into a homeless man's collection pot. Fearing it was gone forever when she realized her mistake, she was amazed when the panhandler returned it a couple of days later. According to CNN,

She almost never takes it off, but it was giving her a bit of a rash so she did, zipping it in her coin purse for safe keeping. Later, she absentmindedly emptied the contents of that purse into the collection cup of Billy Ray Harris, who is homeless and often stays under a bridge in Darling's hometown.

It wasn't until the next day that she realized her ring was gone.

"It was horrible. It was such a feeling of loss," Darling said. "It meant so much to me beyond just the financial value."

She went back to look for Harris, but he was gone.

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Our Cirque Du Soliel Experience - AmaLuna [Pictures]

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AMALUNA is Cirque du Soleil's latest creation and currently touring the Seattle area. We found out just before valentine and would have loved to make an anniversary event of it. However, that day's tickets were sold out. We saw it a couple of days ago, and even then, it was still sold out. Totally worth every penny of the ticket price, I loved it.

Cirque du soleil presents contemporary circus experiences, with the traditional jugglers, aerial performers, acrobats, dancers and clowns fused with modern music and a story. AmaLuna is a magical romance, inspired by Shakespeare's The Tempest, and takes place on an island where women (Ama) rule along the cycles of the moon (Luna).

"The daughter of Queen Prospera is undergoing the rituals of her coming-of-age ceremony when a group of young men is caught up in a storm and stranded on the island. Prospera's daughter falls in love with one of the brave sailors, but the two lovers must overcome many trials and setbacks before finding peace together."

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Savory Fried Potato with Chili and Sausage

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I have a confession to make about these food blogs, and maybe you can guess. I didn't realize till Atala read some of it and demanded an apology. The truth is that we make most of the dishes together, and sometimes, like in this case, he makes a major part of the meal.

For this dish, we already had the chili [see recipe] but because he wanted some carbs, he fried the diced potatoes. BTW, the potatoes came pre-cut and frozen. Still he fried  them to perfection, and with the sausages and chili, they were very yummy :)

Good for any meal of the day, breakfast, lunch or dinner. Enjoy!

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Vincent Enyema - February Man Candy #24

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Vincent Enyema is one of the finest and dedicated goalkeepers the Nigerian national football team has ever had, and he has been soaring for several years now. I became a fan of his when I was still following the local league and he played for Enyimba. His club won some good titles back then, and it's thanks to some of his fine work that Nigeria recently won the AFC.

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Saturday, February 23, 2013

Michelle Obama on the Evolution Of Mom Dancing

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First Lady, Michelle Obama was on the Jimmy Fallon show the other night and in promoting her "Let's Move" campaign for kids, she encouraged parents everywhere to support their children in keeping active by getting up and moving with them. As an example, Jimmy Fallon and Michelle Obama showcased some moves in the "Evolution of Mom Dancing." Hilarious stuff!
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Old School PDA - Uduaghan and Wife Renew Vows

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Gov. Emmanuel and Roli Uduaghan kiss at their 25th Wedding Anniversary

The Governor of Delta State and his wife renewed their marriage vows as they celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. The wife wore a sorta wedding dress which completely suited her, and the pictres are quite nice, they look serious and happy at the relevant places. The picture of them kissing caught my attention on FB, someone said "ewww...", I say good on them.

Happy Anniversary to the Uduaghans, and many more years.

Maybe if more married men showed off like this, there would be less single ladies after them. #justsaying #idontknowtheirstory #RTisnotendorsement.


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Dear Myne - Should I Ask Him For A Date?

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I met this guy recently and we exchanged business cards. That same evening he asked for a date for the following day. Though I would have obliged, he said he would close late, which meant i will be waiting for him at my office, so I didn't. He asked for another date but it was always late and am wondering if there is no weekends. Am just thinking if i should suggest weekend to him or ask him for a date one of these days as he has not called me since i declined his last offer.

This came in on the Setting P 101 and this was my response. "I think you should call and ask, maybe he assumed you always rejected him cos you weren't interested. However, try to do some background check, for instance, is he married, or have a girlfriend who he reserves his weekend for?"

What do you guys suggest?
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Should Single Ladies Date Married Men?

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A Nollywood actress made the news recently when in a recent interview, she advised single ladies this;

Let me explain something to you; where are the single guys? They are there and not ready to marry. If the single guys are not ready then the next available option should be taken. I believe one should go for whatever makes one happy. If a married man is the one that will make you happy, please go for it. I know married women would be angry with me but it is the truth of the matter".

I am not going to say much because one could misconstrue my comments as being influenced by my marital status. My question is, does she have a point? Knowing that a number of men spend more quality time with their mistresses than they do with their wives [Married Men Spend Valentine with Girlfriends], maybe the better question is, should married men ask single ladies out?
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Gbenro Ajibade - February Man Candy #23

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Gbenro Ajibade is an actor most noted for his role in Tinsel.


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Friday, February 22, 2013

Oluchi Onweagba for Nature's Gentle Touch

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Lovely Pictures, for the Nature's Gentle Touch brand of hair care products. Enjoy, and have a great weekend.


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