Thursday, January 24, 2013

When Will a Guy Initiate a Relationship?

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When this question came in from my keyword searches, it was kind of a head-scratching moment. What was this person really looking for? He or she was directed to the post written by Atala on when a relationship actually begins at #1 but to me, it didn't quite seem to answer the question.

I may be wrong, and that post definitely answers the qustion, which was what Atala said seeing that Google search is a pretty accurate mind-reader and tool. But I can't help thinking, what if this asker is a lady, and what she actually means if whether the some things have to happen in a friendship-type relations with a guy before he will try to initiate a relationship.

I don't know if I'm making much sense, but as a lady, I know the gazillion hours of thinking and talking with girlfriends that goes into demystifying the headspace of guys we may like. There's the obvious, "he likes me, he likes me not" to the less obvious, "He asked me to join him and his coworkers for drinks at the pub, he just asked me out on a date!"


Maybe this is something like that scenario of a lady in a dilemma, only this time she wants to know what's she's doing or not doing, and agonizing over why this guy she likes is not asking her out or trying to move their friendship to the next level.

Things running through her mind may include,

- should I touch him more, hair or biceps?
- is looking into his eyes sufficient to show that I'm totally into him?
- if I call him for the fifth time before noon, is that stalking?
- what's his zodiac sign, is the moon over mars or vice versa?
- I'm now a de facto 'one of the boys', what next?
- I'm standing at his apartment door with all my stuff, will that do?
- if this neckline is any lower, my girls may just pop out of this top!
- I hope I do't need to whack him over the head with them before he initiates this relationship!


This is me trying to be funny, but you get the idea. What does a girl have to do to get a guy to initiate a romantic relationship? Does she even have to do anything? Will whatever she does even have an effect on whether he makes the move or not? Maybe a guy will initiate a relationship when he is ready and not before?







15 comments:

  1. I think a guy will initiate a relationship when he's ready to. I know it sounds basic but I think it's the truth. Some guys are happy to go on dating or just hanging with the same girl for a long period (e.g. over a year) and they still don't think that's a relationship. I don't think a girl can really do anything except wait for it to happen or move on.

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  2. I think a guy will start the relationship when he's ready, no forcing, unless she wan use juju!

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  3. Hahaha... too funny. I strongly believe that the guy knows what he wants to do from the get go. If he will, he will. IF he doesn't then maybe it's not meant to be

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  4. Men do their thinking straight and are not easily overtaken by emotions. A guy knows what he wants and no matter how much you worry, he will pretend not to see you. If he wants you, he will make his moves or respond to your looks. Let him be pls.

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  5. The lady should put herself out of her misery and ask what the guy's intentions are. "What are we doing here type of question"

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  6. loool! but if i am not sure and I know he likes me, I will him, what we are doing a.k.a "define the relationship" i get tired of somethings lol

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  7. Don't mind those who say a way to the mans heart is through his tummy. Have sex with him and give it to him good. Myne, publish this.

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    1. Why wouldn't I? Though I do not quite agree sha.

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  8. Nice to know there are many more bloggers writing about relationships, than I thought. It's interesting how you study Google Analytics to find out which keywords or searches lead to your blog. I should be keeping an eye on such metrics more.

    But hey have you heard about the Ghana Blogging Awards? Nominations are open now, you may want to submit your blog under one of the 13 categories, who knows, you could end up topping one of the categories. Just Google Blogcamp Ghana, you should land on the site with no hassle.

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    1. Thanks Edward, are you also a blogger? I couldn't find a link on your profile. I'm guessing the Ghana awards are for Ghanaian bloggers, right? I'm Nigerian and living in America :)

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  9. I would ask to define the relationship cos it won't be funny to me being friends with a guy for a year (and i like him beyond just being friends) and the bobo is not saying jack. Biko, let's define this thing and let me know whether it's going somewhere i like or whether I would move on.

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  10. One thing I know is that guys always know what they want and even the 'shyest' of them would ask a girl out when they are ready to. To know his true intentions though, just ask. One year is too long to be second-guessing somebody. Let everyone lay their cards on the table, abeg. Life's simpler that way.

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    1. Say it loud Sista!!

      Myne, if she got through to the former discussion/post/comments, i think it dealt with her question adequately.

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  11. A guy would initiate a relationship when he wants a lady, he wouldn't wait for the lady to. If a guy likes you, he becomes easily afraid of the competition, however imaginary the competition, that might sweep you away.

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