Wednesday, January 16, 2013

On the 10 Commandments to (Single) Women

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I agree with a lot of what has been listed which seems directed to single women. My thoughts on each commandment below...

1. Dont be in a hurry to move out of ur parents house.
Depends. If you live and work in the same city as your parents, AND they are respect you as an adult woman, it makes sense to live with them and save your money. If there are better job or study opportunities elsewhere, or your parents keep treating you like a child at 30, then move. You can seek out flatmates that share your values if you're not comfortable living alone.

2. Dont wait for a man before you start living. You can live a fulfilled life as a single woman.
She nails this one. I doubt this can be said often enough. As much as I am a romantic and believe firmly in marriage at the right time and to the right person, I agree that fulfilment lies in the individual, and so even when you're single, you can take joy and pride in your life and set goals that give you a sense of accomplishment along the way.

3. Stay away from alcohol. It has killed others and you are not special.
I was actually discussing this with Atala sometime ago as we saw some pictures of New Year's Eve celebrations in various cities around US and UK. People were lying on the streets, or stumbling and bumbling and getting arrested by police or assisted by Emergency services. What is it about alcohol? Please always drink responsibly, don't drink and drive, and as a lady, never drink to the extent that people take advantage of you.

4. Dont entertain a wrong number call, especially at night. Its not the right way to find a lover.
I laughed when I read this cos just the other day, I shocked some people when I listed this as a way some young Nigerians connect. I'll only add that one should be careful with whoever they meet, build up your esteem and be less gullible to scammers. Truth is, love comes in different ways, and if all the couples in the world begin to narrate how they met, we'll be so amazed. Just over 10 years ago, some people were still saying how the internet was not the right way to find a partner, now eHarmony and are proving them wrong and doing brisk business in the process.

5. Develop a healthy eating habit. Always take breakfast and avoid sweets.
Nothing to add. Your health is one of the few things you have control over that determines the quality of your life. Take care of your body and health and you will certainly enjoy life more.

6. Dress well: impression count. People will judge you by the way you dress even before dey talk to you.
True. Always.

7. Dont use sex as proof of love. Sex is no proof of love, he'll leave you after the sex.
I agree with the first part, and not so much with the second. Sex is definitely not a proof of love, but not all men will leave you after sex. Sex is usually a part of romantic relationships, but is not separate from other aspects of the people in the relationship, and how they feel about each other. If a man respects and likes you beyond your sexuality, he will be with you with or without sex, and before and after sex too. That is why many marriages last till death. And by the way, marriage is no proof of love either, some men leave also.

8. Dont marry for the money, else you'll become one of his possessions.
Hey, marry for whatever reason you want, only make sure your man respects you. Some men treat their possessions better than some other men treat their so-called wives. Who has seen a man bash the windscreen in on a porshe, and yet some women face domestic violence daily. See, whatever you marry for, and that includes love, you will still have to work to make your marriage work. And for what it's worth, money makes love, romance and marriage easier and more enjoyable :)

9. Add value to yourself - get a career. Dont be fooled that a man will solve all your problems.
Thank you to whoever wrote this, and may the Nigerian god continue to bless their hustle!

10. Beauty is not everything. If it is all you have, u'll lose ur place to someone beautiful better more matured and competent than you..
Beauty is definitely not everything, and though it can open doors, it also comes with its own baggage. Some other qualities like honesty, smarts, passion, and a heart of charity are even more important, and also, maturity and competence.


  1. We have heard....why do i feel this was culled from somewhere?

  2. I actually agree with most if not all of them. Might not be the biggest fan of the phrasing but she's got a point

  3. Amen to ALL of it! Makes too much sense

  4. She has denied saying all these....

  5. Replies
    1. I wasn't able to find the original author.

  6. I thought it was by Tiwa Savage. Please correct me if I was wrong.

  7. interesting. I like the views. but don't marry for money :p

  8. I agree with mayne concerning, dnt marry for money part.
    Its not like all d marriages based on love do last sef.

  9. I guess it doesn't really matter who put it together. I think it's a very good one. I like where it says add value to yourself. X

  10. Very sensible interpretations.

  11. I so love number 9 that nailed it for me.

  12. You shouldn't love because of money,but at the same time money make it more effective and stronger


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