Friday, January 18, 2013

Five Characteristics Men Want in a Wife

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Everyday, I aim to be a better person, friend, and importantly too, partner and lover to Atala, and I can say honestly that this article by Steven Zangrillo is on point for me on all scores. I want to also add that it cuts both ways, women also hope and look for these same qualities in the man they intend to spend the rest of their life with. Read and let's discuss...

Listen, it’s not easy for men. We understand that it’s a two-way street, this dating thing. Tried and true, we young professionals hit the bars, clubs, gyms, restaurants and other various hot spots perceived to be breeding ground for potential girlfriends and spouses. Some of us have even taken the plunge into the e-dating world. We come up empty handed more often than you would think.

Maybe that isn’t surprising to you, but it’s routine to us. All too often, the cute girl on the stairmaster ends up being nothing more than just that – a cute girl. You see, we have a natural tendency to judge (harshly), and often build up our own barriers against accepting a woman into our lives past the first few dates. That said, we do have a few important criteria. Below are five things men look for in a wife:

1. Focus
That is, stop looking at your phone when I talk to you. This thing we look for can be displayed with variance in several different ways. When we’re describing anything to you, be it an event of the day, idea we have, or anything else, it’s because we care about your opinion on the matter. Your focused feedback on all things is important to us. We’re looking for a life partner, someone to be our go-to when we need it most. Stay focused.

2. Truthfulness
We expect honesty in dialogue. Even the smallest details matter. Nip things that bother you by telling the truth about how you feel. The more you sweep things under the rug, the bigger mess you will find yourself cleaning up later. No conversation is worth saving over a white lie.

3. Steadiness
If we’re surveying you as a potential wife, it means we’re taking you seriously. We’re all about you, we love you, and we’re going to spend a lot of time, money and energy making you the happiest person to have ever walked this earth. We are preparing to give ourselves to you. Just as we have to present ourselves as stable, able life mates, you must do the same. If you’ve still yet to sow some of your wild oats, then this relationship isn’t for you. Be here, now, and present. Have your job, family and money in order.

4. Positivity
You will be sharing a bed, bathroom, kitchen, home, family and life together. It would seem that the best way to approach that would be with positivity. Although it’s still important to tell the truth about things that bother you, it’s also important to be… you know… enjoyable. Think of all of your negative friends and family. When you’re planning a night out, you probably hesitate to call them. If you can’t call those people, why would you marry one?

5. Love (NOTHING else)
It always comes back to love, doesn’t it? We look for women to share love with us. Love is the stuff of marriage. If you’re in need of financial help, the government has programs for that. It’s important to be at similar stations in life so you have a reciprocal and positive marriage experience. We want to marry because we’re in love, not because it’s a sound financial decision.

Source - Cupid's Pulse

So what do you think of his wifely qualities? What has been your experience, and what will you add to this list?


  1. Something to learn for the potential wife!

  2. I like the last line where he said "We want to marry because we’re in love, not because it’s a sound financial decision." Some food for thought there.

  3. iLike!
    I like no 1 a lot cause I may be guilty of this so I need to pay more attention!

  4. Interesting breakdown. I guess some generalities may apply to all, but each man has his personal characteristics beyond the general ones. Nice one though.

  5. yea, thats on point for me...!

  6. "The more you sweep things under the rug, the bigger mess you will find yourself cleaning up later"..

    Loves the phrase.. make so much sense. My new metaphors....

    I think its applies to both sexes actually. Men too needs to read this and get the gist...

  7. so on point! I love the picture.

  8. The writer said it best. Its kinda annoying (and ladies we know it is) when having a conversation with a guy and he is in constant competition with your blackberry phone. Yeah, we ladies are good in multi-tasking and probably following the trend of conversation but going by #1 point on this article, i say it hits the nail on the head.

    But i have to add, that in this 5 points, 'one size doesnt fit all', ie there also other points like trust, confidence and the xters of a 'super woman'. lol. kidding

  9. love it! I think the best part about the post is that it's not the cliche'd 'what men REALLY want' type of list

  10. "If you're in need of financial help, the government has programs for that." LMAO.

    I won't judge some women for that. It's one of the drawbacks of patriarchal systems that do not value the contribution of women. A society (dominated by men) that gives women few rights has no business questioning a woman's motivation to 'better' herself in marriage. As long as such systems continue to see women as second class citizens, women will seek out their cash bull as a way of redressing the imbalance.

  11. We expect honesty in dialogue...

    don't know if I totally agree. I have been a victim of honesty. I have friends(both male and female) who thinks its better to tel a few white lies than test the new partners mettle...esp about past relationships, jobs etc



  12. All I think are good character traits in both men and women that help build a solid base in a relationship. There are other things of course, more specific to individuals. On that score, I approve this message.

    Hi Myne

  13. #Gbam for all entries here.


  14. Yep, i'd agree with all of them.

  15. awww.. as a love lover, I am really loving this :)

  16. Great points Myne, we have to know them and put them to work before they can really work. Thanks a lot for coming by Teshuva.
    Have a super blessed weekend!

  17. Thank you all so much for the comments!

  18. What most men want is someone to cook, clean, bear children, not have her own opinions and someone who will tolerate verbal, physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse without complaining.

  19. nag free and a sense of humor

  20. 'The more you sweep things under the rug, the bigger mess you will find yourself cleaning up later. No conversation is worth saving over a white lie.' I too cherish this phase It makes sense.Nice one.

  21. Nice one dear, tnx


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