Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Rollercoasters of Life

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I remember as a child and my biggest test of my endurance would be writing my exams and waiting the couple of weeks or so for the results to come out. After a while, it wasn't even that nail-biting. After coming in the first ten most of primary school, you kind of begin to take it for granted that you will always excel.

And somehow, that has been true in most cases for me. I got one of the top scores in the common entrance exams and got admited to the best school in town, I got the highest score in my state to get into science school for my senior secondary, I was among the top three results in WAEC in my school and I got admission the same year. I was also the best graduating student from my department in university.

It wasn't all rosy though. Yes, I passed JAMB, but I didn't make the cut-off for my first choice which was to study medicine. I may have passed top of my class to graduate university, but I did not make First Class. It took me four years after graduating - after waiting for a scholarship that never came - to get a "good job". And another two years before I could begin my master's programme.

All these taught me endurance, faith, hope, finding joy in the little things, and contentment, and I learned.

Nothing however prepares you for the depths that the roller-coaster of life can get to sometimes. When you think you've seen it all, you find that you can go lower. At this point, I have chosen not to get lost in the depths of my failed infertility treatments, but to learn from them.

Going in, I was all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, only to be met with this reality. The health care providers try to be cheerful and positive, they really do, but sometimes the doctor is busy and comes across as treating everyone like cars an assembly line. There are those days the nurses don't call when they should, or keep you on hold for 30 mins when they do. You visit the doctor and come back with unanswered questions. After reading the resulting websites that you search on Google, you are even more confused.

And then the bad news start coming one after the other. And they are not anyone's fault, so the ground is swept out from under your feet and you're looking into the chasm.

They take you by surprise, the bad news, punching you so hard in the tummy that you can't help but curl into a ball and wrap your arms tightly around yourself. The only thing you can do is to take your time and rock with the pain until it passes.

But the pain passes, thank God. And before you know it, you find that you can flex the endurance muscles you've been building most of your life, and you've actually added some new ones. So you get up slowly, and you brush the pity party off your shoulder.

Atala has this saying that helps me. He says that happiness is reality minus expectation. What he means is, by how much is what you get different from what you expected? I tend to remind myself of the worst that could happen when I really want something and it is not in my control. And once I know what that is, I begin early to prepare my mind for it.

And the knowledge is also there that as long as life remains, so does hope, faith, contentment, and other blessings to take joy in.


  1. In addition, when you have someone to stand by you through it all, apart from God, things are a lot easier. Glad you have God and Atala. All will be well!

    1. i agree with you. Thank God for Atala.
      As long as theres life, there sure is hope

  2. Nice one Myne! I also had a free ride while growing up and most of the obstacles i have faced in life were in the later part of my life. And how do I deal with these obstacles? i try to expect the worse in every situation while hoping for the best. Having a plan B has also helped a great deal. For instance, i took up fashon designing after university just incase a university education doesn't get get me a well paying job. Above all, Prayer is key. Knowing that God is aware of all my problems made the morsels of adversity a lot easier to swallow.

  3. I totally agree.. Life is a roller-coaster!

    "As long as life remains so does Hope, faith, contentment, blessings and Joy" you couldn't have said it better(y)

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. You know Myne, right now I am almost lost for words and my mind is searching my heart ... For every new breath there is hope and because God has promised, done it before and can do it again, there is hope... because His will is to do it for you there is hope... Keep believing, I will keep you in my prayers.
    Have a super blessed day!

  5. I really like Atala's quote, things don't always have to go your way to make you happy. I think that things not going according to our expectations have become one of the responsibilities an adult has to deal with, the prides and pains of life.

    I thank God for your life filled with hope, faith, contentment, other blessings and Atala.

    I'll still be praying for you because I believe in miracles.

  6. beautiful write up.. I can so relate with this. It's a pity we can't decide for life, most times it does for us. Th best we can do is be grateful and hang in there. May God c us all thru our pains.

  7. I also always ask myself? What is the worse that could happen? As long as I am living n breathing. No bad news last forever. It shall pass

  8. Ha! If you were crying, I would say, "Let's cry on each other's shoulders"' but thank God you're not. I can totally relate to this post.

    Life turns, my sister. Oh, life turns! But I still see God in every turning. When I have it all good with no worries, I see the blessings of God. When it's not going as I would prefer, I see the strength of God holding me. The assurance that God is actually in control and is working it out for my good gives me hope and the tenacity to endure while actively seeking out solutions.

    As long as there is life in us, there is tremendous hope! And even after life, we still have God, so it's a win-win. Hold on.

  9. I love atala's is such a roller coaster, 4years back, i wouldn't have thought I would be where I am in life but what more can I say but be thankful for all. You have a God-sent man beside you to help you through this path and stand by you. It is well

  10. Yes o dear Myne, life has many rollercoasters. But trust in God would always keep us standing. This message actually cuts across.

  11. I can so relate to this. Childhood and secondary school were such a breeze that when the vagaries of university education and adult life hit me, my foundation rocked. But through those experiences I built the 'endurance muscles' you speak about. And my faith in God stays unshaken. He sees. He cares. That's all the assurance I need. Iwish I could think that at some point life would become plain sailing forever but I doubt it. I only believe that He will be there with me through it all. That is/has to be enough.

  12. Beautiful...I am so stealing your last sentence...dont want to forget that.

  13. I liken the way we live life with a fixing a jigsaw puzzle. Everything looks like mismatched pieces. With a closer look, we start to see where we can fix the pieces and the puzzle starts taking shape, some pieces are easy to fix and others will take extra thought and continuous trial and error, till the whole puzzle is complete. To get the puzzle complete, you need to keep at it and keep trying. Every experience we have, the somewhat easy ones and the more trying and challenging ones are all pieces in life's jigsaw.

    I love your last line. That is positive attitude right there

  14. "happiness is reality minus expectation. What he means is, by how much is what you get different from what you expected?". <--- nailed it for me.

  15. My mom has a younger friend who just successfully gave birth to twins after 6 failed IVF attempts. She and her husband aren't so wealthy, just comfortable, so you can imagine the pain and sacrifice it took to keep going on.
    Only those who've walked in your shoes know what you feel. The disappointments and hurt can only be imagined. Even the procedures themselves aren't easy.
    Yet God says in the book of Job 14, there's hope for a tree, that at the scent, (not the feel/touch), at the SCENT of water, a tree that its root had died and the stump withered, would bud and bring forth branches.
    If a tree has such hope, imagine you who's the best of the God's creation, specially made in His image and likeness? It'll definitely turn out well for you in the end, dear Myne.


  16. Bear Hugs, dear.

    Life is for the living, every breath we take is towards the hope that there’s sunshine after the rain.

    Our life experiences happen to make us tougher and come out refined as gold. All thanks be to God who has provided support in the form of spouse, friends and family to us.

    God bless and keep you strong.

  17. "... as long as life remains, so does hope, faith, contentment, and other blessings to take joy in" gbam!!!

  18. Yes, Myne, God is with you. So keep the faith alive. He hears all prayers and we say Ameen, it will be done.

  19. This point is very on point.....i heart!

  20. Thank you all so much! GROUP HUGS :):)

  21. Your words have truly inspired me to keep keeping on. It's really difficult most times , blow after blow just when I think it cant get any worse -life wittingly dishes me another bout of hard lessons. Keep keeping strong, you definitely will triumph over this...

  22. Hi Myne, firstly i must commend your openness. You have no idea how much this write up has encouraged and motivated those who can relate to this, myself inclusive.

    I pray that God suprises you and your hubby pretty soon. I await a testimony from this space...



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