Thursday, November 22, 2012

How to Have a Lasting Online Romance

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This is another Search #1 keyword that bring people to this blog. I personally met Atala online and we made it thus far, and I know of several other success stories. The major advantage of online romance is the privacy, and safety it provides. You don’t need to expose everything about you immediately.

Stuff like your telephone number, address, where you work and family details can and should be kept under wraps for a while. It is only when you trust the other person more that you can decide how open to be.

Online romance gives you the control, you can decide when and how to reveal any type of information. You can also completely back off at any time, if you feel like something is going wrong or the other person is not who they say they are. Changing your email addresses, or blocking a chat buddy or access to your FB or twitter profile, is much easier than keeping someone out of your physical space.

That said; there are some things to be aware of with online romance. The advantage of privacy in meeting someone online first could become a double-edged sword. This is because it makes it easier to be dishonest online. The person you are chatting with could be 12 years old, or married, or 42 instead of 22, or a man instead of a woman and vice versa.

It is so easy to develop a different persona online, be whoever you want, say whatever and become an overnight superstar. The anonymity and privacy of the internet thereby becomes a tool for deception. A waiter becomes a doctor, 5’1 becomes six feet and CUNY becomes Harvard or Yale. Remember that this cuts both ways. Are you being your real honest self while looking for love online?

When you have passed this initial meeting stage and you are thinking of defining the relationship with someone you met online, it is time to think of the tough questions I came across in another wonderful article on the subject excerpted below...

... in a long distance relationship with an individual, the same qualities that are essential to any relationship will be necessary, plus more. The number one component to any relationship, long distance or not, is trust. You cannot be in a relationship with someone you do not trust. Trust is the foundation to all good relationships. There is a saying that goes, “when mistrust comes in, loves goes out.” So make sure you have faith in the person you are with.

With the topic of trust, comes the topic of lies—trust’s, number one enemy. Lies are the quickest way to end a relationship. Avoid them at all cost, especially in long distance relationships when you are unable to keep an eye on the person you are with. Having a spy or friend who keeps you up to date may just come back to bite you in your bottom and then that’s when problems escalate to he said/ she said drama.

Another key component to a long distance relationship is communication. Obviously, face-to-face conversations will be somewhat limited, but with technology these days, that shouldn’t be a problem. Take your pick. You can have a regular phone conversation, text, email, skype, oovoo, or choose from one of several social media websites like the ever-popular facebook, twitter, or tumblr.

Now, let’s talk about the most important factor of all—love. How much do you love the person you are with? Is the person worth all the anxiety that comes with a long distance relationship? This is a question, only you can answer for yourself, but if you can truthfully answer yes to all of the above, then you have the potential to carry out a healthy, loving, long distance relationship. Source

All said and done, there are some things to beware of with online romance. You can read more - Safety Tips for Online Dating and Social Networking


  1. I have heard success stories too. From the source, the Spanish words translated as 'distant love is stupid' just made me laugh because, it is not stupid sometimes. Like Myne said here, it is good not to be too open in the beginning.

  2. It truly shldn't be an immediate 'head over heels'. We need to study 'strangers' b4 becoming friends, let alone settling for love.

  3. "A waiter becomes a doctor, 5’1 becomes six feet and CUNY becomes Harvard or Yale."

    LOL. Maybe he's just a doctor with an interesting hobby that involves being tolerant of people's rudeness and that in itself helps him improve his bedside manner. Hehehe.

    As per man becomes woman, hey gender is fluid these days...apparently. We all need to get with the flow.

    5'1' becomes 6 feet - vertically and visually challenged maybe. That combo is a killer! I mean, if they can't reach, they can't see now.

    CUNY becomes Harvard or Yale: that's just unacceptable, people. I mean...there's so much out there to help the illiterate. Come on now...even graduates from the school of texting should know better than to pull this one. So many sad people out there.

    Well done, Myne.

  4. Lol @ Adura's comments... Lovely article. I used to think I got weird search queries on NR but I hands down... you definitely have the more interesting queries

  5. I have my reservations about online dating but I've heard success stories (yours being one of them) that have made me less resistant to it. These tips help though.

  6. I don't do online romance!
    It would not be real enough for me.

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