Friday, November 30, 2012

Her Knight by Hannah Onoguwe

Posted in: , , ,

The streets had decongested as the day drew to a close and became more of a joy to drive through. It was a typical balmy night in Ibadan, but Eniola didn’t feel any of it as the air conditioning in the car licked over her skin. The air outside was undoubtedly warmer, and right now she was glad it was out there- beyond the cocoon she currently inhabited which smelled of fairly new rich leather and a combination of car deodorizers. The odor was a bit too overwhelming in delivery, she mused, but to each his own. The present company wasn’t much, either, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. At least the evening would soon come to an end. And she wouldn’t be too sorry, either.
When the Benz drew to a stop for no apparent reason, Eniola was surprised but not unduly alarmed. Giving Uncle Edwin an inquisitive look, she asked what the matter was. She hadn’t heard any strange noises and they were still a considerable distance from her house. Maybe he wanted to answer the call of nature- a call men seemed to answer wherever and whenever.
He had half-turned in his seat to face her, his square face relaxed in a smile. “Nothing. I just thought we could talk a bit.”
She tucked a strand of braided hair behind one ear. “We’ve been talking for a major part of the evening,” she said slowly.
“Yes, but there are one or two issues we’re yet to touch.”
Eniola’s heart sank. Did Nigerian men have to be so predictable?
“What issues?”
“Come on, Eniola. You’re not a child. You should know that I like you… I like you very much.”
Actually, she’d been hoping the interest she’d witnessed in his gaze on occasion had been a trick of the light. “So…what exactly are you saying?”

Happy December and World AIDS Day

Posted in: , , ,

Today, December 1, is the start of the last month of the year, the countdown to Christmas and also World AIDS Day. I want to congratulate everyone for coming this far, I can't believe the year is almost gone, I am very thankful too for health, and family, and love. And in the spirit of all that, I want to also commemorate the AIDS day by sharing some ways to help limit the spread of the virus.

1. Be Faithful, Abstain or Use Protection

For those who have a regular sex life, being faithful to one person if you're both HIV-. If you're not with someone you trust implicitly, please abstain from sex. If you must, condoms are still the only means to protect against HIV, STDs, and pregnancy. There are now female condoms as well as the male, so more options for everybody.

2. Get Tested and Know your Status

Back in Nigeria, some say AIDS no dey show for face, but that is because it is HIV first, with little to no symptons. It takes a while for the symptoms of the virus to show, so the only way to know your status for sure is to get tested. There are many free and/or voluntary counselling and testing centers around. Take the test, get your results and try to live a more responsible life - positive or negative.

Is This For Real? Journey to the Altar Series

Posted in: , , ,

Hello everyone, I'm starting a new series titled Journey to the Altar. Some of the brides and would-be brides, will share with us a brief snapshot of their journey to the altar. Our first contributor wants to remain anonymous, but that does not detract from her funny and heart warming story. Enjoy...

How did you meet your fiance?

Hmmm...I went to spend the weekend with my sister in school because I was so bored at home. She and a couple of her friends happened to be organizing a send forth for a friend of theirs so I tagged along. That evening, I got my hair done, did my nails...needless to say I was feeling like a fine girl. Being that I wear glasses, I dumped them for my contacts. Unfortunately, one lens dropped and I couldn't find it so I was left with just one 'working' eye because I refused to wear my glasses. Lol.

After getting ready we headed to Swé bar (only if my parents knew my whereabouts that night). Anyways we got there, I was having a very good time; I was high on power horse, I was very happy. In our group we were just generally enjoying ourselves and being a mess, next thing this guy comes to ask me to dance...I'm like err ok, when the guy was beginning to get in my space I practically ran away. *covers face*.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Rollercoasters of Life

Posted in: , ,

I remember as a child and my biggest test of my endurance would be writing my exams and waiting the couple of weeks or so for the results to come out. After a while, it wasn't even that nail-biting. After coming in the first ten most of primary school, you kind of begin to take it for granted that you will always excel.

And somehow, that has been true in most cases for me. I got one of the top scores in the common entrance exams and got admited to the best school in town, I got the highest score in my state to get into science school for my senior secondary, I was among the top three results in WAEC in my school and I got admission the same year. I was also the best graduating student from my department in university.

It wasn't all rosy though. Yes, I passed JAMB, but I didn't make the cut-off for my first choice which was to study medicine. I may have passed top of my class to graduate university, but I did not make First Class. It took me four years after graduating - after waiting for a scholarship that never came - to get a "good job". And another two years before I could begin my master's programme.

Extremely Scary Ghost Elevator Prank

Posted in: ,


If you've watched more than a couple of horror movies, you've probably seen the ghost/possessed/evil little girl, and most times she's wearing a white gown, has wild hair and a doll. What if you see her in real life, all by yourself, in a mirrored elevator? Bottom-line, what would you do if you see a ghost?

That was the basis of this prank by a Brazilian show, and everyone was going scaredy-crazy.

I could laugh because I'm watching it on my laptop, I know I wouldn't want to be in that situation. A malfunctioning elevator is scary enough, add a ghost and I'll probably have a heart attack!

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

9 Ways to Know When You're in Love

Posted in: , ,

This is a question I have to consider for my characters in each romance novel I write, and one I had asked myself several times in the past after meeting one or two people. There are some people you meet and you just know they’re a fantasy or fancy which will fade even the next day. And there are those that tug at your heart and you begin to wonder, could they be THE ONE?

The truth is that if we’re not sure about this, whether deciding to allow a friendship develop into something more or taking the decision to get married, we could be making the mistake of a lifetime. These are some of the pointers I came up with to recognize that special person. They are by no means comprehensive and I will not presume to speak for everyone.

1. They’re in your future: This means that when you visualize your future, say 10 to 20 years ahead, you can actually see yourself with this person. They can fit into or support your long term personal as well as professional goals. You also share the same core values that will make living together enjoyable.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

First Time: The Legend of Garison Fitch - $50 Giveaway

Posted in: ,
First Time: The Legend of Garison Fitch

"What if history didn't happen that way ... the first time?"

Garison Fitch was one of the most revered scientists in the Soviet Americas until he left fame behind to work on a secret project in his log cabin in the mountains of Marx.

But something went wrong. Instead of traveling interdimentionally, Garison has traveled through time ... twice.

Now, he's in something called "The United States of America" and a woman he's never met before is calling herself his wife. It it a hoax? Or, has he somehow changed history?

If so, can he return the world to what he believes is "normal", or must he live in this strange world he created?

Pictures of Some Foods I Cook

Posted in: , , , , , ,
Sometimes I cook. I usually cook enough to last a couple of meals or more. Sometimes I remember to take pictures, but usually at the end of everything. And having thought about blogging about home cooking, I have found that I may never like to take pictures step by step. I don't think I'll make a good tutorial blogger, but I'm working on better camera skills to back up recipe posts, coming your way soon. Below are some so-so pictures of food I cook. The bigger images are below these small ones:)



Do the two hearts look anything alike?

Posted in:

So Atala and I got into a funny debate last night. We were discussing where the seat of emotions were and how though most of them are fired in the brain, they end up the signals in some muscle somewhere. For some they feel their love like butterflies in the tummy, and for others a racing heart is the sympton of their love. And then we went on to the fictional representation of the heart and whether it looked anything like the real heart.

This is where you guys come in. And there's a lot riding on your answers o. So in your opinion, is the fictional heart a good representation of the real one?

Monday, November 26, 2012

Dreaming of Summer Giveaway Hop

Posted in: ,

With winter upon us, let's warm up by sharing some of our favorite beach/summer reads! Be it a book that takes place at the beach, or just one that has a great summer setting - share the warmth with the Dreaming of Summer Blog Hop from November 27th to December 2nd.

I will be giving away a book of the winner's choice, up to $5. This giveaway is open internationally (as long as The Book Depository delivers to your area or you can receive ebook gifts from Amazon Kindle).

To enter, fill in the rafflecopter below. The winner will be announced in the rafflecopter and also receive an email within 72 hrs of the close of the giveaway. They have same amount of time to respond or another person will be selected. Goodluck!

Dear Myne - Is She Just Toying With Me?

Posted in: , , , ,

I had a short but passionate relationship for 2 months with a girl that in the third month started to get distant so I got annoyed and broke it up suddenly. Well, I am really in love so I went back with my tail btw my legs and started courting her again. Its been a month of a toaster life. I txt her, email her, once sent her flowers on a special occasion. She gets back to me, we talk daily, but not with the frequency and passion we had at the beginning. I initiate it most of the time.

This is currently a long distance relationship. I stand on a fine thread where I might get tired of toasting with no clear sign from her and eventually get bitter at her. I am happy to be a toaster as I like romance and winning back a heart even if it makes me vulnerable. I am going to give it another month or so of persistence regardless of her poor feedback then I am done.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Music Video - Timi Dakolo's Great Nation

Posted in: ,


The romance in this video is the one between a man and his country. Timi Dakolo's music really impresses me and I love this song a lot. But as I listen, I also sigh and wish and wish and sigh. I am older and I have been wishing and sighing for a long time, from the time I could vote but the military were in power, or when the small politics I took part in at university department level had its own K-leg. And then I had to ask myself why I was worrying about those at state and national levels?

Hmmm...I still hope though. Nigeria WILL get there. Someday.

Date Night Movie Review - Flight

Posted in: , , ,

Atala - The trailer for this movie pointed a movie which seemed morally ambiguous. Should I, the viewer, be rooting for a character who was such a skilled pilot that he was able to save the majority of the passengers when the plane they were flying on suffered a serious malfunction? Or should I condemn him because it turned out that he had been drinking alcohol on the flight?

With these questions buzzing in my mind, we went to watch the movie. And I should say that the first thirty minutes or so were some of the most dramatic scenes that I have watched in a long while. All I can say is that if you have a fear of flying, you probably won't want to watch them. But after that drama was over, the movie settled into a slower pace, and the what the movie really was about - an alcoholic pilot in denial - came to the fore.

Denzel Washington, who played the lead role, did a great job here. I found myself alternately willing him to slay his addiction demons and mentally washing my hands off him as he relapsed again and again in the movie, especially as the consequences of continuing on his course of destruction would be pretty dire.

Friday, November 23, 2012

Library of Congress, Washington DC - Weekend Pictures

Posted in: , , ,

As winter knocks on the door over here, bringing cold temperatures, ice pellets, rain and more rain, I look back with fondness to this summer and our brief time in Virginia and DC. I remember back then though when we landed at the airport, it was over 100 degrees and I felt like I would either fry like an egg in a pan, or melt and steam away. Now I want some of that heat to magically be transferred to Seattle. I wonder how warm or cold it is there, right now.

Anyway, we took the train to our hotel in Alexandria, rested in the air-conditioned confines of our room and by the evening, I was feeling more adjusted. We went out for dinner, settled for Chinese takeaway, and while they were getting it ready, we took a stroll around the area.

Arranged Marriage Versus Personal Choice

Posted in: , , ,

A lot of couples these days find love through their own personal choice, by meeting people with shared interests, beliefs, and values either at work, at school, or at play. Along the line, they date, court and then decide if they are right for each other and if they can agree to live together and maybe get married.

Arranged marriage on the other hand involves the parents and relatives of those involved. Most times, there's marriage on the cards from the get go and it often happens within a short time after meeting. I want to think that these days, arranged marriages may involve some coercion and pressure but not force.

I have found that younger people are more gung-ho about making their own personal choice, but the older a man or a woman gets, especially if they have made the rounds of their social and dating circle with no luck, the more likely they are to be open to an arrangement by their parents or older relatives to meet new people and get married quickly.

What do you think? Which has more pros in your opinion?

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Joseph Benjamin on his Marriage and Separation

Posted in: , , , , ,

If you ask me, I'll say separation, while it is not encouraged, is not uncommon in Nigeria. Scores of people I know live separate lives with their spouses mostly in different homes and sometimes even in different countries. A few times, they even live in the same house and still do their own business. What is more frowned upon is going the legal route of getting a divorce, I put this down to our religious and traditional backgrounds.

On my part, I'll never support marriage for marriage sake, but only when it is healthy and beneficial to the couple and any children they have. Recently, Joseph Benjamin - Nigerian actor and presenter - got the full weight of public disapproval when it came to light that he was separated from his ex-wife and mother of his two children. There were other rumors surrounding the announcement some of which he has addressed in this press release below.

“I was married for 8 years. It was a rather odd situation at that time. She got pregnant and I didn’t want to have a child out of wedlock and so I married her so we could build a home together for the unborn child. Things weren’t rosy then, but I believed it was the right thing to do for the sake of the child.

How to Have a Lasting Online Romance

Posted in: , , ,

This is another Search #1 keyword that bring people to this blog. I personally met Atala online and we made it thus far, and I know of several other success stories. The major advantage of online romance is the privacy, and safety it provides. You don’t need to expose everything about you immediately.

Stuff like your telephone number, address, where you work and family details can and should be kept under wraps for a while. It is only when you trust the other person more that you can decide how open to be.

Online romance gives you the control, you can decide when and how to reveal any type of information. You can also completely back off at any time, if you feel like something is going wrong or the other person is not who they say they are. Changing your email addresses, or blocking a chat buddy or access to your FB or twitter profile, is much easier than keeping someone out of your physical space.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

What Comes After Saying I am Sorry

Posted in: , , , ,

I think it is part of us as humans to have a sense of fairness and to want justice so if we are forced to apologize against our will, it can be very difficult. Also, if the so-called offender thinks the apology will demean their self-pride, they might shirk from doing the right thing.

When I used to be a school teacher - my mum runs a private school and that was also my first job after NYSC - I got to interact with little kids a lot and learnt a lot from the experience too. One of the things common with a lot of children is that though they are easily offended, they are also quick to forgive.

First though is that they like to report. If you're the only adult or the favorite one in a place with loads of kids, the complaints will be coming thick and fast. "Aunty, B stepped on my foot!" "Aunty, X pinched me!" Aunty, E called me a bad name!" And so on, lol. It's left to you to make the peace as quickly as you can. Most times, this involved calling on the offender to say “I’m sorry.”

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dear Myne - I have Commitment Issues

Posted in: , , , ,

I love your blog and I do not know if you could oblige me by posting my 'issue' up there. How can one overcome the fear of commitment? I have been dating a wonderful man for three years and the fear of even getting a proposal scares me that I break out in cold sweats. I broke off the relationship twice and got back again. I am afraid he may not be the one. I'd really appreciate some good advice.

We met during NYSC programme and started dating few months afterwards. We have the same values and principles on salient issues and he is very committed to God like I am. He has a sense of duty and commitment and my folks like him though we are from different tribes. He knows how to care for me, even though we quarrel we try to sort things up as soon as possible.

We had a did long distance relationship lfor about a year but he lives closer in Ogun State and I in Lagos so we visit each other every two weeks most cases. All in all, he is someone I would like to marry though I get upset with him when he doesn't call me often cos he is busy or tired from work (he's into marketing) and we can get into huge fights. I attribute that to distance issues.

Touching Her by Lelouch

Posted in:

She smiled at me, she winked, she laughed…but I couldn’t touch her. She was right in front of me but I could not adjust her long, dark hair, tilt her oval chin or trace a playful line down a side of her glowing face. She wanted me to hold her, I saw it in her eyes, yet I didn’t. We talked for several short hours throughout that day on life, love, politics and the future. We made and played beautiful music and told tales of the nostalgic past.

I looked away again, made no attempt to hide my false interest in the surrounding scenery because I’d somehow noticed how her smile got brighter when she thought I wasn’t paying attention. I totally deceived her. She thought I was staring at other things…but I was only trying to get a better view. All of my optical focus was directed to peripheral vision so I could ‘scope’ her face, optimally. No harm in that tiny bit of dishonesty, eh?

Monday, November 19, 2012

Kinds of Nigerian Husbands and Wives

Posted in: , , , , , ,

I'll put the disclaimer first before some ask for my head. This is a comedic chain-mail. Dirty Dishes who first posted it said, "The article is about the stereotypical perception of the Nigerian husband and wife... This is in no way to insult any tribe so please do not get offended. It is also not meant to annoy anyone, hurt anyone or make any tribe look superior or inferior." I saw it on Deronk's and though I'm really not one for stereotype jokes, this got me laughing. Enjoy...

Kinds of Nigerian Husbands

IGBO HUSBAND

Plus

He is very loyal, He maintains monogamy, Could be very yielding/gullible, Gives you access to all his assets, Follows your advice and directions to the letter, Spends money on you for comfort, good looks and happiness, Takes care of your kids

Sunday, November 18, 2012

A 'Man of God' Should Not Own a Private Jet

Posted in: , , , , ,


By Nkem Akinsoto

I do not like controversies on religion, faith or belief, but sometimes the brand of Pentecostal Christianity in Nigeria breaks my heart. This sentence was my comment on one of the first posts, Sykik's Religion that talked about this issue. I don't mean we shouldn't blog or talk about it, just that we shouldn't quarrel with each other which I see some commenters on some blogs doing.

Of course it becomes more pertinent if one has the ears of one of these pastors, that would be excellent so the discussion can be more directed. I said essentially the same when I first saw the video above on Adura Ojo's Let's talk about it. I was not too surprised by the perspectives in the video, they were as split as I expected.

In reply to my wish that a so-called man of God will speak on what he believes, Prism reminded me that Pastor Tunde Bakare has. He actually condemned it, but some may accuse him of poverty or jealousy since he doesn't have one. I want to hear from those who have bought these jets or who accepted the gifts - talk about chop and clean mouth.

The New Facebook Couple's Page

Posted in: , , , ,

I joined Facebook in 2007 around the time I was about halfway through my master's degree and friends and course-mates were beginning to disperse after the end of our first semester. It was a way to keep in touch and also share some news with them where ever they ended up. Since then I've been in one relationship that ended and then I've got married. In none of those relationships did I use the Facebook option of displaying to the whole world, or at least to one's friends that I was "In a Relationship".

I remember that I did share pictures of my engagement ring after Atala's proposal, and also of pictures of my wedding. The sharing was to custom lists and now the pictures are hidden completely and only I can see them. That is one thing I like about Facebook, the tools it provides to help us, the users, protect our privacy if we want to. But there are other loopholes and oversabi that make me shake my head at them.

For instance, after my page became public and used to network for my books and this blog, I indicated that I was married in order to check mate some of the unwanted and unwarranted attention. Funny enough, Facebook sent out a notice to all my friends and subcribers that I just got married on the day I set that up. Same thing happened when I set up my mum's profile indicating she was married. The public blast is irritating because not only is the date wrong, you may not also want to let everyone know.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Movie Review - The Man with the Iron Fists

Posted in: , ,

Atala - When I first saw the trailer for this film, my first reaction was "Huh?" A man whose body turns to metal? An action sequence that I wasn't sure was dancing or fighting? I was sort of curious, but I put it out of my head after a day or two.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, and Myne and I were trying to decide what film to watch. We were going to watch 'Flight', a film that I had set my eyes on for a while, but the film times didn't work for us. So we had a look at what else was on offer. Thus it was that "The Man with the Iron Fists" reasserted itself into my consciousness again, and thus it was that we went to watch it, despite my apprehension at some negative reviews I saw about it.

It turns out my fears were misplaced, because the film turned out to be a very enjoyable experience. The main story is about a blacksmith who unwittingly ends up endangering the village he lives in when the weapons he makes fall into the hands of the baddies.

Friday, November 16, 2012

What Does Infatuation Mean To You?

Posted in: , ,

Some artistes were asked their definition of infatuation and many of them came up with various meanings, from the good, to the bad to the outright funny. I think some of them, like the comedians were trying to joke around, maybe some didn't know the meaning, the presenter herself doesn't help matters, she seems to be a stand-up comic too :)

Anyway, the video got me thinking. What does infatuation really mean? Is it the same as love? When does it transition if we think love is the more mature feeling? Is infatuation equivalent to obsession? Sometimes, crushing on someone is said to be synonymous to being infatuated with them, is this so? What if you're crushing on someone you love and are in a relationship with, is it still infatuation?

In my opinion, infatuation is when you have all the feelings of romantic love and desire for someone without really knowing them. Mostly, it is younger people who become infatuated because they've not really experienced life and still see through rose colored lenses. I can still remember some of my teenage crushes on Hollywood and music celebrities, some fine older guys in the peripheries of my social circle, and even on clothes and stories.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

My Review of the Samsung Galaxy S3

Posted in: , ,

Who remembers this post asking about the Galaxy SIII or the Galaxy Note? So I got to the AT&T store and the rep and I hashed it all out about what I liked about each of the phones and what he didn't like about each of them. I've now had my Galaxy SIII for about two months and I want to share my experience of the phone with others who may be thinking of getting it. My first smartphone was a BlackBerry which I used for over 2 years so my review will be based off of that.

The main thing I like about my SIII is that it is so slim and very light compared to my BB Torch which was quite bulky and heavy. The next up is the screen size, which is amazing. I thought the Torch was big, this is an eye-opener, I browse on it so comfortably and can do almost everything including blogging and the accompanying rounds and comments. My laptop has definitely been getting more rest than it's ever had.

Also, the video playback quality are excellent. The first time I watched a Youtube video, I was like, wow! The crisp sound and image quality blew me away. I never thought phones could play video, and I couldn't understand when people talked about watching TV or movies on their phone. I never tried it on the BB. I was also surprised that video didn't gulp as much data as I feared.

Dear Myne - My Boyfriend is Stingy

Posted in: , , , ,

Presently, I am in a relationship where i don't really feel ok. He seems to be a cool guy with me amidst his friends and my family but sometimes i count it as pretense. I have heard stories about marriages, that things change in it like the feelings and the love dies, to the extent that I've thought of opting out.

We have been together close to 2yrs now and he has already proposed to me and our parents both know about the relationship. I tried breaking it off twice, but he kept pulling me back and convincing me that all will be well. Sometimes i don't know what to think. My main problem is he does not really spend money on me.

As if he saw me that I am not demanding, and i don't ask so i believe he took advantage of that. Worse is that he is always asking money from me, and I sometimes give him. I know he is not wealthy, still trying hard to make ends meet but I don't like that he asks me. That's why i believe he's a pretender, and stingy.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

3rd Annual Gratitude Giveaways Hop

Posted in: ,

Hi, everyone and a special welcome to the first timers visiting my stop on the third annual GRATITUDE GIVEAWAY HOP. As thanksgiving approaches, it is good to be grateful and show gratitude for the things that we're thankful for. One of those things for me is this blog, and being able to have this online space, and I am grateful for all you readers.

The winner of my Giveaway will receive their choice of up to $10 in books from The Book Depository (including shipping) or a $10 email Gift card from Amazon.com. To enter the hop, share something you're grateful for in the comments and also include your contact details if it's not linked to your name or profile. Good luck!

Check out other blogs in the giveaway hop below;

15 Topics for Couples Thinking of Marriage

Posted in: , , ,

One of the aspects that came up in a previous post was the importance of being on the same page with your spouse and how this can be achieved by communication. When a couple have been together for a while, meaning they've stayed the course over several dates, and agreed to become exclusive, and maybe the m-is-for-marriage talk has come up, then it may be time for some serious talks.

These discussions may be uncomfortable at first but they'll ensure the couple know each other fairly well and are on the same page on key issues that affect marriage relationships. Far from interrogation-style affairs, it would be easier if the couple is able to feel relaxed and build the topics into everyday conversation. Some of these topics include;

1) Money: While nothing is as un-sexy as talking about a budget, money is one of the biggest sources of contention in a partnership. So bring it up. Talk about it often. This matters.

2) Children: Do you want them? Does he? How many? When do you want to try to have them? All very important questions as kids are more than a fashion accessory.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

The Holy Sin by Femi Owolabi

Posted in:

My teary eyes searched for absolution in the phlegmatic face of the judge, as she slowly perused through the lines of the paper in her hands. It was the last of the papers she’s been reading since she overruled my lawyer’s objection. Barrister Ken- my lawyer had speciously argued my case.

As the judge read towards the conclusion, she paused and gently removed the glasses perching on her nose. Then, she wiped her face, and cleaned the lens of her glasses with a tissue-paper she fetched from the glass-case before she put it back on.

“This is my judgment!” She boomed gutturally, raising her face.

Make The Happy You Want To Be

Posted in: ,

Some quotes are cliche until you undergo specific events or experiences. Does one see a white light when they are under general anesthesia or do they float outside and above their body? Does becoming a mother make every woman a conservative republican? You can only live it to know it, LOL. On a personal level, while I've learnt to own my infertility, it becomes more difficult to explain it to someone else.

Like on this blog, I usually do it in a very simple and straightforward manner. I try to tell them the truth as I understand it. The difficulty is that everyone understands it differently, and because procreation is such a big part of life, most people have an opinion, and a strong one at that, on how it should be done. Presenting a more individual, this-is-my-story perspective is often misunderstood.

A few comments have asked why Infertility instead of TTC? But the fact is that this series is more than trying to conceive. If you believe, like I do, that God has given us all things for this life, and to be like Him, through our knowledge of Christ, it gives one a lot of insight. If there's anything I will need in this life, it is already given, and I don't have to beg or cajole or push my own will at God. I only have to trust and to accept and to live my life.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Beyond the Cost of Planning a Wedding

Posted in: , , ,

The cost of planning a wedding in Nigeria is another search #1 which lands on the post about my big fat Nigerian wedding. Nigerian weddings are not unique in being expensive, the 2012 average cost for a wedding in the United States is around $27k (around N4million). One can even say the Nigerian wedding is more cost-effective because there's usually two or three events involved - traditional, court and church wedding.

In my previous post linked above, fellow blogger Doll, who got married in Nigeria in February 2012 says she spent about 4.5M. and my guess is that's probably the cost of an average middle-class wedding in Nigeria these days.

Now not everyone may be able to afford that and it is usually best to remember to cut your coat according to the cloth you have, and not to your size or wants. In this case, it means taking into consideration your savings and your income and trying to keep the wedding expenses within your means.

The first step is to consult both families and then agree with your fiance on the size of the wedding. It is ideal if you are able to make a definitive list of exactly the number of people you want and you can list them by name, but this is difficult to pull off for most Nigerian weddings.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Date Night Movie Review - Cloud Atlas

Posted in: , ,

I want to start a new series where I share the movies Atala and I see at the cinema. We have very ecletic tastes and see all sorts. Sometimes we both love our selection, or one or the other of us just hate it. On cloud atlas, it was two thumbs up reviews from both Atala and I.

Atala - I first heard about Cloud Atlas from Myne, who herself had seen it in a blogger's "must watch" list. I was intrigued to hear that it dwelt on themes of the interconnectedness of lives across time, because I'm a big fan of movies that explore the deeper issues of life. In addition to this, it promised grand spectacle - something that Myne is very big on. So we made up our minds to watch it when it came out.

I have a favourite saying - happiness is the difference between what you experience and what you expect. Well, in this case, that saying was turned on its head, because what I experienced wasn't better or worse than what I expected - it was just simply different. Different in a good way.

The movie is made up of six different stories which occur at different times, ranging from the nineteenth century to some time far in the future. The stories are very different in style, but I found them all enjoyable in their own different ways. The two stories that I liked the best was one about a composer who faces a conflict because of his sexuality, and one about a 'replicant' - an artificial human being - who ends up setting off a rebellion, because they both explore the agonizing emotions that someone experiences when having to make hard choices.

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Bachelor by D'Banj - Music Video Romance

Posted in: , , ,


I'll like to say a few words about the song and Dbanj first, before I talk about the video. When the relationship broke down between Dbanj and Don Jazzy, there was the question of the way forward for the singer. He had been the frontman with Don Jazzy, would he now just be a hanger-on in his new label? Would he still make good music? What would his new sound be like on beats not produced by Don Jazzy?Oyato didn't seem to be a good start but with this, Dbanj has redeemed himself. For me, anyway.

The video? LOL...A lady is angry about the bachelor's philandering ways, and when he refuses to change, she trashes his stuff and skips town. There's honestly nothing too unique about the video when compared to recent international or Nigerian music, it's all about expensive lifestyles and video vixens. Not that I was expecting different from Dbanj. Maybe he'll surprise me one day sha.

Have a great weekend all.

Why Does He hold my hand and hug me in Public?

Posted in: , , , ,

This is a search #1 question that I would have thought was very open and shut? If a guy displays affection to you in public, it simply means he is attracted to you and wants you and the people around you to know it too. Most times, he would have said something about his feelings to you. If he hasn't said anything, then you have to be careful, PDAs like holding hands and hugging can also be exchanged among platonic friends.

If it is the case that you are friends with a guy and he hugs you, he may just be the touchy feely type and there may be no romantic feelings involved. If you think you may be reading too much into the person's actions, you can simply ask them?

Friday, November 9, 2012

Doing Things Together as a Couple

Posted in: , , , ,

By Nkem Akinsoto

One of the advice given to new couples is to do things together, and even where they have busy schedules, they are encouraged to make time to spend together. When Atala and I got married, he was living in the United States and as we agreed, I had rounded off my stay of three years in the UK in plans to move continents. Luckily, I was able to get my US visa and join him about a month later.

When I arrived, it was March, and if you've heard of Seattle, you've probably heard wet, cloudy, or evergreen in the same sentence. Spring in Seattle is the poster child for dull and depressing weather and that was when I arrived. Add to that fact, I had no job at first and also did not have an American driving license. You can measure my desire to get time outside of the house as well as spend time with my brand new husband.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

For the Love of High Heeled Shoes

Posted in: , , , ,

By Nkem Akinsoto

When it comes to shoes, high heels are my weakness. For someone who shops as little as she can get away with, I find my shoe collection embarrassing sometimes, and quite a number of them are high heel shoes, and I mean HIGH HEEL. As in six inches or more.

The best part about high heels for me is how elegant and sexy they make you feel. Your walk changes, and your humdrum figure stick out in all the right places. High heel stilettos will even completely transform any casual clothes one may be wearing.

Even a jeans and T-shirt will look all tushed up when you jazz it up with a pair of stilettos or good pumps. Your feet may be killing you and your toes could developing a million and one corns and bunions, but the compliments will keep you smiling wide.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Thankful for Books Giveaway Hop

Posted in: ,

November is thanksgiving month and one of the things I'm thankful for are books and the joy of reading. I am also thankful for being able to write and share with those around me. To start off the season, I will be giving away a copy of The Enchanted Truth by Kym Petrie. To win a copy, leave a comment below with a few of the books you're thankful for reading recently. Please include your contact details. Goodluck.

Cayenne Dreams by Mobola

Posted in:

She shut her eyes as the sun stretched its arms above her. “I’m so glad we took this trip, Mabel”

“Mabel?” she opened one eye by a sliver but her aunt was gone. She sat up and just as she was about to get up and search for her, a being eclipsed the sun on her behalf. Frowning she looked up at the being. ‘Bad idea’ her brain quickly warned. From his toes, to his toned, muscled thighs, to his broad chest, Janet gulped in awe.

“Are you a life guard? Is Mabel okay?” she managed to croak.

“Mabel.”He chuckled, and it sounded like the taste of airy milk chocolate.

“The little old lady over there winking at you?” he licked his lips in a way that made Janet want to jump his bones, right there and then.

“Yea, she’s my aunt!”

“Come with me.”He took her in him arms before she could protest or reply

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Obama Wins Election - Four More Years!

Posted in: , , , ,

Obama has been re-elected! When he pulled ahead of the 270 electoral votes required to win, the president tweeted, "Four more years" with the picture above of him hugging his wife, Michelle. Not only did Obama win several key battleground states, he also won the popular vote. What an all-round victory.  Romney has just conceded and congratulated Obama.

And now the man of the day is giving his acceptance speech. The excitement is palpable. Signed, Sealed, Delivered, America is for Obama. Wow! Four More Years! President Obama sure knows how to give a speech. What a day! What an eye opening experience, watching democracy in action.

Congrats to the Obamas and to America.

Old School Naija PDA - Fashola Kisses Wife

Posted in: , , ,

I'm liking how the supposed old school couples are not just talking but showing the young ones how to love and show romance. Last time it was Bola and Remi Tinubu, now it is Governor Fashola kissing his wife, Abimbola. I wonder, is there something in Lagos waters?

This was at the closing ceremony of the Committee of Wives of Lagos State Officials meeting. I am happy to see that all those looking on were applauding, no one is frowning :)

Early Voting Results Show Democrats Ahead

Posted in: , , , ,

Today is D-day in the American Election Season and if I say I'm not glad, I will be lying. The negative ads have been getting to me, and when the video of the crying little girl went viral, I almost cried with her :) Hopefully today will be the end of all that negativity. Anyway, the early voting results from the presidential battleground states have been counted and the democrats are leading.

This is the only voting results available until the real vote count is made public after today's elections. If you can vote, don't shirk your civic duty, make your voice count - whether Democrat or Republican.

Monday, November 5, 2012

How to say Sorry to your Boyfriend in Yoruba?

Posted in: , ,

This search landed on my romantic names in local languages which may come in useful but will definitely not speak directly to the problem if there's one. I'm guessing the person searching for this has a Yoruba partner but is not one herself. If you've offended him and you want to say sorry, I think you say Ema binu or Pele.

I confess that I'm terrible with Yoruba and can probably count on my fingers the number of Yoruba words I know. Atala and I communicate in English and I barely get a chance to practice the little I know. Maybe the children will provide the opportunity for us all to learn.

The Real Reasons Men Get Married

Posted in: , , , ,

Most of us assume love to be the major and sometimes the only reason people get married, but this is not the case if some studies are to be believed. I won't say I was too surprised to see the real reasons men get married, I think when you're being very realistic, it's hard to deny that there are other reasons men could possibly get married even when they are not, or do not believe, in love. In no particular order, they are...

1. Dinner. You may think the woman making dinner for her man is something out the 1950s, but it's still very much a thing. I know way more women than men who rush home to make dinner for their sweetie every day. Men like to be fed.

2. Laundry. Some men will never learn that you can't put red socks in with white pants. If a woman does your laundry, you're spending less money on white shirts.

3. Comfort. There is something very comfortable about coming home to someone at the end of a long day.

4. Everyone else is doing it. As we mentioned, peer pressure goes a long way with men. No one wants to be the last man standing at the bar at 3 a.m. because all his buddies went home a long time ago with their wives or girlfriends.

Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Colors of Fall - Weekend Pictures

Posted in: , , , ,

Hey everyone, hope your weekend has been going well? With the time being turned back today, Fall is fully here and we're beginning to hunker down for the sorry weather that comes with it. Some days are not terribly bad though, and we had one of those last week which we utilized to the max by walking to the library.

Saturday, November 3, 2012

EBISAN - LOVE STORY: Music Video Romance

Posted in: , , ,


This is Ebisan's first single and the video is directed by mr ak one. The youtube page says Love Story was voted one of the top 50 songs of 2011 on "the top 50 for 2011 #bloggersEdition" and I think I agree. Lovely song and video.

The Place of Women in Marriage and Parenting

Posted in: , , , ,

There's a saying that we're the product of the environment in which we grew up. I want to add that we're also who we are; we are unique and sometimes we are different or weird. I grew up in a sheltered home, a typical Nigerian home you may say. My parents were both working class, and Christian. They knew what they wanted of and from us children and they would do their best to see that we toed the line.

I knew it wasn't easy on them, they both worked very hard and sacrificed some things to make sure we were OK. My parents enrolled us in the best schools and after-school lessons, and they would spend their time to tutor us in our studies, help us with homework, or simply see that we did it. I appreciated this aspect of their parenting and it is what has helped me to be who I am today.

But there was another side of the strict upbringing that chafed on my personality. I felt restricted and forced to do some things I didn't want to. From the earliest I can remember, I hardly made any decisions for myself; everything was controlled by my parents. The clothes I wore, when and how to cut my hair, the friends I was allowed to have, and when I could visit them, if at all, all were decisions made my my parents.

Friday, November 2, 2012

Boris Kodjoe and Nicole Parker on Love and Family

Posted in: , , , , , ,

Boris Kodjoe and his wife, Nicole Ari Parker are a celebrity couple that are still going strong after seven years and two children. In a recent interview with RollingOut.com, they shared about their life, their marriage, and how they parent their children. I have such a huge crush on Boris Kudjoe and have written about him in celebrity crushes and as an inspiration for a male character in my work in progress. Reading this interview, I was happy for him and his wife, and equally learnt a few things. Hope you do too...

You’ve both been keeping incredibly demanding schedules. Can you fill us in on what you’ve been up to?

Nicole: Well, I just finished a sixteen-week run making my debut on Broadway. I just closed A Street Car Named Desire on July 22, and then I took a much-needed family vacation with Boris and the kids. Being away from home was tough, but the challenge and the thrill of being on Broadway was so fulfilling, and I’m thankful to my husband for making it possible and holding it down at home.

Was it all pleasure? Did you get a chance to see any extended family while you were gone?

Nicole:  We just got back from Germany seeing Boris’ grandmother. Now in a couple of weeks, I’m off to London to do the run of the play on the West End, so that is also very exciting.  I play the character Blanche, and I am fortunate to be the first African-American to play that part. So I’ve really enjoyed my time with this experience.

And what about you Boris?

Boris: I’ve been at home with the kids. I’ve been driving them to surf camp, making sure that they are at ballet and karate, and just doing everything that I’m supposed to do as a father. I’ve also been prepping for my directorial debut. It’s a film called Looking For Jimmy Lee, and I’m really looking forward to that.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Pictures of Serena and Venus Williams in Lagos

Posted in: , , , ,

Serena and Venus Williams wowed me when they won gold medals at the London Olympics and now they are in Nigeria to inspire and mentor upcoming talent. Serena Williams said at their press conference that she hopes the tour of Nigeria and South Africa with sister Venus, would encourage athletes on the continent to strive for excellence in their sport.

Dear Myne - I Crossed the Line with my Crush

Posted in: , , , , ,

I had a crush on a friend of mine and i told him today and we cuddled but didn't kiss or have sex. Now i feel so shy and embarrassed with myself. Some background, I used to be in a relationship before i left Nigeria and it was my first relationship and i loved him with my innocence. On getting to Ukraine i decided to be celibate and thanks be to God i have been able to achieve that.

Unfortunately I don't know what to do now with my friend. After we have crossed the line, where do we go from here. Let me add that he stays in d same hostel with me and also his birthday is on Saturday and i already bought him a gift and and i already planed to give it to him at 12midnight on the eve.