Saturday, October 6, 2012

Our Road to In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF)

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Atala and I started TTC (trying to conceive) around October 2009. By April the following year, we notched it up and I started checking my temperature to monitor ovulation. We had then been married just over a year and moved into the new house we bought. The new place had more room, and I considered the spare room will turn to the baby's in due course. In the meantime, we called it the arctic room as we joked and cuddled under the duvet in the warm embrace of each other.

We looked forward to more loving and all that goes into baby making. One part of my mind worried when each month my period came, but I was also busy with promoting A Heart to Mend, writing my second novel, and setting up Naija Stories, so I didn't bother too much. By my birthday in October, we were becoming a bit concerned, we had officially been trying for over 6 months.

We had a discussion and decided it was time to consult the doctors. Finding one wasn't hard, in fact the one we settled for was barely 10 minutes away from our house. And so the questions and tests began. All the preliminaries checked out, Atala was OK and so was I - both our plumbings were in order and my hormones and ovaries were working as they should. We both breathed a sigh of relief, but that was not the end of it.

The doctor gave his diagnosis as unexplained infertility and based on how long we had been trying, he did not recommend that we continue just 'keep trying'. He gave us a run down of the options, and we started from the easiest and started working up the list. First was Clomid alone. This is a drug that works with the woman's hormones to increase the quality and quantity of eggs released from the ovaries. We used clomid for 3 cycles staggered over about six months. None of the cycles was successful.

At that point, we kept our assisted reproduction to ourselves. I didn't consider it a secret, it was just private. Personally, maybe I would have shared with close family, but in marriage, it stops being all about one person. Atala and I believe in being on the same page in everything. Also, the doctor had said it was unexplained, so who knew? Maybe one of those months we weren't even trying something would happen. So yeah, we passed as any other married couple trying to conceive.

Around the end of 2010, we moved to the next option - Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). This is where the sperm is extracted from a semen sample and injected directly into the uterus. Over the next six months, we had 2 of those with no success. It was beginning to get to me. But hey, life continued.

By the day, the expectations were rising. In 2011, we had been married two years and as far as everyone knew, we were trying. Even on this blog. My broken hand last year got pregnancy comments, and some other posts too. And those closer to us were speculating in almost every conversation the month and day of our new baby.

I knew they all meant well, but sometimes I was irritated and wished they would mind their business. The ones that got me more were those that assumed they knew the magic formula to get me pregnant. They would put forth their advise and sometimes it came out as an order. Pray more, relax, be more serious, have less sex, have more sex, etc. Confusing much, eh? LOL...

Even more confusing were the online forums. Almost each one I tried to read had some funny code language. In addition to the IUI and similar terms I had picked from the doctors info package, I learnt the meaning of TTC (trying to concieve), emby (embryo), u/s (ultrasound), and more. Everything seemed to be in abbreviations, and there were just too many for me to keep track of. On the nairaland thread, the women were having prayer rings and sprinkling baby dust on each other. But no matter the confusion, I did want to have children.

So more tests were scheduled. I had a hysterosalpingogram (to check my tubes), then a laparoscopy (to check that the lining of my womb was OK, and to have some polyp tissue removed). In addition to those, the doctor wanted still more tests, mostly blood work and some cultures. The results of the further tests came out and the doctor gave me the all clear.

And that was when he brought out the big guns. He wanted us to move to IVF.

To be continued.








39 comments:

  1. I feel like I am holding my breath. P/s one of my aunts got married late (not saying that is your issue), and had difficulty conceiving and she and my uncle now have 3 beautiful kids through IVF. So I know it is the big guns and can be quite expensive, but the goal is worth the journey. Good luck!

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  2. Oh and I also wanted to say, thank God we live in such a time where there are many options and ways to try and conceive.

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  3. It will happen in time, Myne. Thank you for sharing.

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  4. totally off-topic but i seriously thought that picture at the beginning was a stock photo lol. You and Atala are a couple of hot tamales!

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    1. Wow! Just noticed that too... y'all are a cute couple

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  5. Myne, I didn't know you were going through so much...this subject is very touchy, and will inspire other women trying. I hope you don't give up on yourself. You have a beautiful soul, heart, talent, God will fill your home with joy and those rooms will be filled with kids. Hang in there, everything is working for your good, a testimony is on the way, never ever give up on yourself, your belief in God. Love you!

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  6. Hi, Myne. My son was conceived via IVF after 5 years TTC (haha, I was on those forums, too...). We went through the Clomid, a surgery, etc. When they realized the issue (endometriosis), they told me I had 0% of getting pregnant in any way other than IVF, and that was only a 30% chance. All that to say that if you need to talk to someone who has been there, I'm here.

    Shannon at The Warrior Muse

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  7. God bless you Myne for sharing your story. I pray it would inspire others to stay positive and focus. I have some friends who settled for IVF and they got it! God is smiling at you!
    Stay blessed!

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  8. Myne your pic is real cute.
    The beauty of life is that its full of miracles and testimonies all the way,God made it so. Am sure you have had some testimonies of beautiful things happening in your life,relax cos you are going to have much more.
    Hugs.

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  9. O God bless your soul and that of Atala,you are indeed blessed with a beautiful soul if not you wouldn't be here saying this.Like someone mentioned earlier, I was holding my breath too, I really admire you more for this.
    I pray God bless your efforts just never let it get to you because with God that gave u such a beautiful soul and gave you Your Husband still reigns on His Throne.
    Love you too!

    Yemisi

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  10. Myne, this is like reading my life story on your blog, unexplained infertility, clomid, IUI, IVF.....I can't wait to read the end of the story...maybe I will learn something I haven't done to check myself or how to do something differently.
    God bless

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  11. lovely lovely photo...you should have it framed

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  12. Oh Myne, you are such an open book and a great inspiration. I just feel like the IVF thing is going to work. Everything is going to be Ok. Thanks for giving me this prayer point.

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  13. I know what you mean about every online forum have code,I found www.babycenter.com very useful and helpful, they have amazing community and groups for support, not only for those ttc but for tips/guide for at every stage of pregnany and parenting.Wishing baby dust! I can hear a cry of baby in that baby room of yours!

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  14. Let me first say that you and Atala look extremely good together. I know you must know this but I just had to say it. Hot couple thinz. Lol.
    You have just shown how strong you are by sharing this and you will be okay Myne. I discovered that a lot of women are embracing IVF and even more are getting it. Women that didn't even try as hard as you have, just go ahead and do it. They just hide it from people. I pray God directs you steps and gives you all you desire. You deserve it really.

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  15. Holding my breath reading through... You've been through so much.. Like so much tests and all... Wow! You are an inspiration and I continue to bless God for your strength, I pray he gives you moreee of it!! Amen!

    Yep! The picture above is HOT!!

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  16. Myne dear, I reach out to you with a Hug, a big one.

    If i find that superwoman t-shirt i have been looking for, i'd send you one. You are admirable - very calm, 'mature' person. i'm just saying though it may seem unrelated to the topic at hand. Still 'big-hug'

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  17. Thank you for sharing Myne. I know that this can be a touchy subject. I thank God for modern medicine because IVF can be a miracle procedure for many couples trying to conceive. I have a friend in medical school who tried the entire four years we were in school to have a baby. She never told any of us what she was going through but she eventually went the IVF route and now has a precious baby boy. I pray the same blessed result for you!!

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  18. i want 2 salute ur courage by sharin ds priv8 section of ur life wt us.. On ds pregnancy matter, This too,shall pass! Havin said dat,i'm lookn forward 2 d namin ceremony!goin by d huge volume of followers ds series is attracting,u wd hv 2 rent a stadium 4 dat singular ceremony.also bear in mind dt u'd hv 2 provide security 4 all d pple dt wd fly in 4m 9ja & other countries...lol!

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  19. People think they are going through things until they hear about other people's problems. God is faithful and in due time you will conceive. With IVF you have a pretty high chance. Goodluck!!

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  20. Go on, Myne. Once the longing for kids kix in, it's pretty hard to ignore.

    Can't wait to read your typos as you do baby things with one hand and blog with the next! *hehehe*

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  21. Wow Myne, thanks for sharing such a personal story....looking forward to the happy ending!!!

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  22. Watch out for part 2 a la Nollywood! This story will have a happy ending. I know it.

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  23. It takes courage to share this. I don't know why I always have this fear of infertility though am still a young girl. I always pray for you.

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  24. Imisi is a naughty boy iya iya o. Lol.

    Big hug Myne!

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  25. It takes unbelievable courage to share a private issue such as this with the rest of the world. Then again, I've always figured you for strong!
    I'm with Imisi...can't wait for your typos when you'd be trying to multitask with a baby in your arms.

    Never forget: In His time, He makes all things beautiful!

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  26. ooo I want to hear the rest....xxxx

    so much encourgement.. I second it all.

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  27. Thanks for sharing Myne.
    Hugs!!!

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  28. Thanks for sharing your story. Wish you all the best and believe that you will have your own baby. Started a TTC Blog, do stop by my space.

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  29. Thank you for sharing this Myne. I'm not married (yet), but infertility is something that I'm constantly worrying about cos of the increased experiences of those around me; (think Guiliana and Bill Rancic). I hope the babies come soon for you and your husband. Amen!

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  30. I just said a word of prayer for you Myne

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  31. Myne you're an angel.I know God is already using you and He wants to show who HE IS to the millions of people you're sharing all these with...Cos indeed you'll come back soon and share the testimony IJN!

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  32. very touching story. dont worry everything will fall into place in due time. Thumbs up Myne. And what a lovely pix of you and Atala.
    www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  33. that picture looks very professional! you guys are cute. Thanks for sharing.

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  34. You have already done so much Wow! You see why I applaud your courage? and why it is good to marry a true soul mate? By 6 months you were already doing something. Not twisting your hands and waiting (this is no accusation to those truly waiting on God'. I do think if you can do something do it. what is medical science for?'. Secondly it is easier when your hubby is behind you all the way. I have heard of couples where the wife is the one running from clinic to clinic while the husband folds his arms assuming that 'he could not be at fault'. psssh!

    In the words of Elnathan, God will surely bless your hustle alright :) with lil Mynetala's (Sting is sooo naughty!)

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  35. This is very encouraging to a lot of people out there. But your marriage is very young and since you 've gone through series of medical tests that showed you and Atala are ok, am sure the pregnancies will come when they will come!

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  36. This was well written and i can get a better picture of the whole process. Just want to let you know you're not alone as a lot of people do go through it. I remember a woman that had trouble getting pregnant but after her fibroids were removed she gave birth. Everyone's situation is different, but one thing is clear, you sure do have a lot of support and the most important thing is the love between you and your husband. Sending hugs your way.

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