Monday, October 15, 2012

A Failed IVF Caused by Non viable Eggs

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It is quite difficult when you have always assumed you would have children, to then find out that you need some form of treatment in order to conceive. But it shifts the ground from under you when even that treatment fails. In the cases, it is only the grace of God and the reactions of the people around you to stabilize you. I thank God for my faith, for the person He has made me to be, and for the man I chose to go through life with.

I went in to the egg retrieval realistic but hopeful. At the end, Atala drove us back and we began to wait for the doctor's call that will tell us how it went and what the next steps were.

But no matter how you think you're prepared for the worst, some times the reality knocks you for six.

The call was not a happy one. The follicles they had retrieved had no mature eggs in them and the doctor was just as dismayed as we were. He wanted to give it till the next day to see if any would develop to a stage they could use it. They didn't, and that evening the IVF treatment cycle had to be cancelled.

It was a tough day, very rough. I cried at the doctor's office as he broke the news. He was quite honest. The failed IVF cycle had left him scratching his head. Non-viable eggs wasn't something that happened often, and it made no sense to him.

You see, he and his nurses had continuously reviewed my hormone treatment every step of the way. I had gone in every day so they could monitor the development of the eggs and they had used the results of the tests to adjust the medicine doses accordingly. By the time of the egg retrieval, everything had been looking good. The follicles were of a good size and all the hormones were within the normal ranges.

The doctor insisted they had done everything they could and as we reviewed the cycle, Atala and I think we did a good job on our side too. We had done everything as required and had been praying too. So what had happened? It was just confusion.

Since then, I have looked up some of the common reasons for non-viable eggs being retrieved at IVF and some are,

a) Not injecting the trigger medicine that allows them to retrieve the egg;
b) Making mistakes while injecting the medicine, usually by using too little or having some leak out;
c) When the doctor uses a poor quality of the trigger or
d) When the person doing the egg retrieval does it wrongly.

I don't think any of these was the case with us. But for days afterwords I kept on thinking about it. Did we miss taking a dose on time? Did we not take enough, etc? It took a while and prayers to regain my peace, but regain it I did.

The doctor encouraged us to take some months off to gather ourselves and decide the next steps. He would review the treatment that I had received and see if he could justify another IVF attempt and try to come up with a tweaked protocol that would give us more success.

In January, I had started playing with the idea of blogging about my IVF experience after the fact, while hoping I would have a "testimony" to share. But this had been a teaching period for me too. Not all stories have to be testimonies, and there is no one size fits all testimony.

But easier said than done, even though Atala knew and approved with my plans to share, it took me another 6 months to come to a head space where I was strong enough to share. And I am glad I did. And for your support and prayers, thank you :)







50 comments:

  1. Hold on Myne. Your babies are gonna come soon

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  2. Hello Myne, I went through two unsuccessful ivf cycles. The second one was cancelled cos none of the 25 eggs retrieved made it to transfer. As if that wasnt bad enough, I had OHSS and had to have a tube inserted in my belly to drain fluid. You are a strong woman. I thank you for giving us the opportunity to learn from your story.God will help us all achieve our heart's desire by his grace. May he give us the strength to get through this. Amen.

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  3. Hello Myne,

    You are a very strong woman and corageous enough to share your story . It is indeed still a testimony and and encouragment to many who have been going through or who will go through the same situation. Whatever the outcome is at the end of the day, I believe strongly that God does things in a way that we can only ascribe the glory and thanks to Him. So hold on, just trust that everything will work out for your good . We can never fully comprehenend His plans for our lives but I am hopeful and I believe that you will make an amazing mum. Any child who is blessed to come into your home will be grateful forever. I will be praying for you personally . Big cyber hugs . God loves you don't forget that ...

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  4. * Courageous I meant

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  5. you can delete this but I apologize for the typos :) This is why the comment section needs a spell check for those of us spoilt by Microsoft Word !! Have a lovely day

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  6. It is certainly brave of you to share. Praying that you both get your testimony soon.

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  7. By the time those babies come you'd need more than a few hands to help carry them. They will come and they will come at the right time. Get ready for a lot of sleepless nights :-) I think its very brave of you to share and just so you know, we are going on this journey with you and will be with you to celebrate VERY SOON. I am certainly going to be praying for you.

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  8. As someone who looks to you as an elder sister, I respect your courage in sharing your story. I pray for success in your treatment. There is nothing that God cannot do. *Hugs*

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  9. Am so sorry about that, I really admire yor strength and hope. I pray that the God of impossibilities will turn your story to a testimony. Hold on dear,I know God is at work here. You will be in my prayers.

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  10. :) Hope and hold on, timing... hard, painful and almost impossible it may seem now, still you'll pull thru, still your gifts will come. Just keep preparing and building up faith. pray and don't give up.

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  11. Dear Myne, whose report will you belief? had two failed ivf myself. the first cycle 3 eggs got fertilised and transfered but the red sea flow on day 11 the 2nd attempt 6 eggs got fertilised and the red sea flow again. u are giving birth to extraordinary children just keep your faith up. it is not your hubby nor your egg but the power of God. i know of a couple the wife can not produce egg and the husband has no sperm (no sperm count at all) the doctors told them they will not have children and yet they had faith they are now the proud parent of 3 boys. i advice you to read testimonies of people who God bless despite negative medical verdict. meditate on isaiah 66v9. God is faithful we will celebrate with you very soon. you are not the only one passing through this, it is well

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  12. I applaud your courage Myne, I know without a doubt that God will settle you guys, prayers coming your way.

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  13. Stand still Myne saith the Lord, the battle is not yours, the battle is the Lords! I declare it into the atmosphere that you and Atala SHALL conceive and bring forth your child for the glory and honor of God, in JESUS name! In the book of Job the bible says, and YOU shall decree a thing and it shall be established!! IT IS SO, AMEN!!!!

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  14. Isn't amazing the effect this blog post is having. That is a testimony in itself, that one can go through a test and testify. There is no testimony without a test. I am glad you getting encouraged, much better and you are still hopeful.

    Its hard but pls do know you are making a difference in a community like this we need honesty, bravery and wisdom to share and learn from...

    How great is our GOD. I claim JESUS miracles for you and I pray we will live to testify. "Though You and Atala might work through the valley and the shadow of death in this case shadow of TTC, You and Atala shall fear no evil. For HIS rod and staff are with you to comfort you and Atala. He has prepared a table before you and atala. Your cup will RUN OVER, full over, pour over.

    My dear sister keep on keeping on. After all, your mummy birth a great one such as you, you too will birth great children such as yourself even much more.

    We will not give up or give in come what may. GOD will come through. WHY: he said we should ask anything our heart desires AND he will do according to his will. With men it is impossible but with God all things are possible. HOLD ON tight. it is scary but soak all the journey in and no matter what, your light will shine brightly...

    stay encouraged love, e-hugs to you and hubby for being strong. Also thank God for great support from your family and your blogsville fam..

    xxxxx

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  15. Your courage to share this experience is just wonderful. I have no doubt in my heart that you are helping to share a mesage that God intends for so many: that God is the maker and giver of children and that He never fails when it is the due time. Keep on strong dearest friend.

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  16. Awww I know one thing your children will come soon. So just hang in there.
    Www.secretlilies.blogspot.com

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  17. You are a strong woman Myne! Hang in there your babies will come by God's grace.

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  18. I dont even know what to say. Cant imagine how hard it was. Just keep holding on, I'm sure there will be a happy ending

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  19. I don't know what to say or write..i guess the fact that you are sharing the story means you have risen above the pain. I feel your pain, in ways more than i can put in words..i've been down this road. I almost questioned my faith but God pulled me through. After the last IVF attempt, i havent been able to bring myself to think the IVF route again. I was emotionally drained....let me not leave you with an epistle.

    You definitely will have children, as many as you want.

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  20. I can not imagine how hard it must be to share this,
    The courage it takes is amazing and i seriously applaud you.

    I always thought iVF was a straight forward thing and now i know better.

    This testimony is not over though, the happily ever after part is still coming,
    I know this
    we serve a living God.
    I will say a prayer for you

    HUGS

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  21. I so agree with YvonneEMoments! NOTHING is impossible with God. Has he not said NONE shall be barren in the land? Yes he has and when he says a thing it MUST stand. Myne, choose your baby boy and baby girl's names right now and thank God for your awesome testimony BECAUSE it is done in Jesus Christ name. Amen. I so believe it because for one, when that testimony hits, OMGudness, peoples lives are going to change for good and God will get all the glory!!!!! I am so excited! If only that goat had known how much fun this will be and how much glory God would get, he would have just allowed this first set of eggs jejely!

    Be encouraged. Many are standing with you!

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  22. Myne, it takes courage to share this, and the beautiful truth is that, by sharing you are giving so many other waiting mothers the strength to hold.

    As tough as it is to wait, not knowing the when or the how, God's grace would carry you through and you WILL carry your babies and rejoice.

    My prayers are with you all the way, God would sure surprise you.

    ((HUGS))

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  23. My prayers are with you Myne.You'll have your testimony and we'll be here to enjoy it with you.

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  24. I thank God for your supportive husband. I hope that in the end your dreams will come true.

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  25. "one would move a thousand and two, tens of thousands" There's more than two here, e-holding hands and joining faith with you. This story is going to have a happy ending.

    P.s- I see your hubby's the one with the green shirt today. Hehehe

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  26. Dear Myne,
    Thanks for sharing so sincerely.
    God is not done with you yet.
    Stay strong, I personally had 3 failed ivf procedure.
    my hubby and I despite being married for about 16years are still holding on the Lord who remains faithful.To reduce pressures on our concerned extended family,we have adopted a boy and a girl, who we love so much and who have brought so much joys to our lives. We believe God to increase our family with more kids to be birthed biologically. I have a friend that recently birthed 3 healthy boys conceived via ivf. I pray HE does a quick work for you and Atala.We are with your family for grace to abide in faith as the Lord ushers in your children. Its well with you and all waiting family that will read this posting.
    Hugs,
    Ije

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  27. You will bear your children regardless of the reports of the doctors. He said you shall not be barren, He is not the son of man to lie, neither the son of man to repent. His words will accomplish that which they are meant to.

    Yes I have decided to accept and deal with it on the spiritual scale and not on the doctor's report, regardless of how you feel...I don't need your permission to include you in my prayers *tongue out*

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  28. Hi Love,
    It's been a while I was here.. I made a mental note to comment on the first part of this moving post. I didn't. Forgive me.
    I don't even know what to say to you..
    But, I'm here, always.
    Formerly (2cute4u)
    Now,
    chacha- www.chachacorner.com

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  29. I'm speechless....because
    - You are so courageous
    - I cant even begin to imagine the emotional pain you have been going through

    Whatever you decide (to wait for a miracle or explore adoption) do remember that being able to carry a child does not automatically make a woman a good mother.

    You have a lot of love to give - and a good hubby so I know you'll make a good mother.
    Stay blessed.

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  30. I applaud your courage and I believe that God will give you your heart's desire.

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  31. this is a really delicate issue and having lived in oyinbo land for a while we have all imbibed a little bit of the oyinbo thing of being careful about making comments especially when it concerns delicate intimate aspects of people's life.
    i totally applaud you for having the courage to put this out in the open cause I'm sure it will serve to educate and enlighten a lot of nigerians and probably disabuse the deep seated taboos associated with this..
    my uncle lived in the united states for about 25 years and he had problems having a child so he opted for ivf,they went through it for about the 3rd time and quite a bit of expense before it was successful after the first boy they tried again and had another boy however due to the taboo associated with this he had to go to great expense to keep it secret as some people saw it as somehow manufacturing a child ...


    having said that,i think you should consider the option of adoption as well its a huge shame the number of children languishing in nigerian orphanages while people avoid fostering or adoption due to society's portrayal of adoption..all in all its a credit to the society you live in and the kind of man your husband is and also your in laws and a testament to how loving and close knit your family is

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  32. Wow.. Your courage is an inspiration. Like ‘BBB‘, I always thought IVF was pretty straightforward and also I didn‘t know a lot of people go through it (but reading some of the comments on this post and previous related ones, has been an eye-opener)
    I just want to say, ‘hang in there‘ and I know by God‘s grace, very soon you‘ll have a great testimony to share.

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  33. Myne, I have said it before and I will say it again, You are an amazing woman and your husband must be an angel. I have never shared my story with anyone but i will now. After a long distance relationship, I got married to a man I believed was the one God had for me. We only had sex after we got married and began living together. He immediately expected me to be pregnant from day 1 and started making numerous comments about my infertility. In frustration, I began dashing from pillar to post seeing specialists. I even had a laparoscopy without anyone's knowledge and took myself to and from the hospital without his help. The specialists said I was intact in every way and that my husband should come in. He vehemently refused saying that anything that was wrong must be my fault. (Meanwhile this guy was a PhD student here in the USA. So much for believing he was "educated"). By the third (I repeat THIRD!) month after we began living together as man and wife, life was pretty much unbearable and as his verbal/emotional abuse exarcebated, violence entered the mix and I fought to bear it all alone, pouring my frustrations into my books and anything else. I started rethinking bringing children into such an unhappy marriage and the idea of raising kids with such a person. Anyhow, by the 3rd incidence of his physical violence on me (in the 11th month of our living together), I landed in hospital and that marriage was pretty much over. The hospital called the cops on him. It's been 4 years since then, I've been scarred and wary of dating (especially black men). Then I remembered that I have many brothers, friends and close family who are black males and yet NOTHING like my ex. Now I figure...maybe I can try again but I've lost 6 years of my life. :( I am forcing myself out of the deep depression and sense of failure that has hung over me since then. It has been terrible! You be strong! God has blessed you and will continue to bless you. Children shall cry in your home very soon, IJN.

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    1. i don't know you ,but all i can say to you is that you have not wasted 6 yrs out of your life.you have been on a journey of self discovery and self re assertion..the confidence self esteem which the said ex has forcefully robbed you off you have gained back all through the 6years journey.
      for you to have posted this with your name is a testament to this ..i am sure right now you will probably have a totally different perspective on the qualities you are seeking in an ideal partner that again is another positive outlook which you have gained from the 6 yrs hiatus
      although i am not married but i have seen enough to know that i don't agree with your quip about her husband being an angel...there is no perfect man or woman without their own negatives the difference in their marriage is probably that they both accept that they are infallible,accept and work through each other's short comings..

      a nigerian singer of note said in one of his songs that when there is love,20 individuals will sleep in a small room without any complaints or fights

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    2. Lucabracee, just wondering do you have multiple personalities? why do you sound like a douhebag on Ladunliadi's blog and very normal here?

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  34. joy always comes in the morning,you will conceive like the Hebrew women

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  35. Myne you know the upside to this revelation. You have lots of people praying for you without having to buy them milo and peak milk to break their fast. Lol some 'prophets" request for that.
    Keep your head up. I am not married but already I have had some gynecological experiences that point at problems with conceiving. So I have started experiencing some pain in advance ..... I guess reading some comments here make me feel better.

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  36. hi there Myne,

    My advise would be different from the others. Have you considered adoption? Many times, you just need something to take your mind off what you really really want and then suddenly you'll get it so easily. There are many medical doctors in my family, and everybody is into Gyne. I myself am almost a gyne, eventhough I never studied medicine.

    I know a couple who went through every kind of treatment out there - gynecologically speaking, missionaries for that matter. They were advised to adopt a child. They(Europeans) adopted an African child(a boy). Two years later, they had a set of twins, a boy and a girl - natural birth.

    Sometimes, God just wants us to make just 1-major sacrifice on behalf of someone else, and then he'll give us what we want. I understand that adoptions are not common in Africa, but I honestly think there is nothing wrong with it.

    I read of an athelete a couple of days ago, whos father adopted over 600kids in his(fathers) lifetime. The man actually had a home for kids. The man and his wife never had any kids of their own. They are said to be one of the largest families in the USA. At his burial, over 3,500 people(the mans kids and their families(children and grandkids)), apart from other guests,signed the attendance register. How well could someone spend his life more worthily.

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  37. If you can only believe, all things are possible. God's strength is made perfect in your weakness. only BELIEVE. Definitely going to be praying for you everyday. That's a promise.

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  38. Do you know, I am just thinking back to last year when all these things must have been happening. You were still writing, making blog rounds, lolling with us your friends when inside you had this cross to bear. Amazing.
    Myne, through your blog, you are empowering (modestly) hundreds of women. Loading them with information that will serve them well in future. Making them think. Giving voice to all the anonymous who didnt know where to share their story. You are already being a mother. A sister. A friend. Take heart, your story is not over yet.

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  39. Lord will make a rehoboth for you and your husband.
    Genesis 26:22.
    Praying for miracle children for you in Jesus mighty name Amen!

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  40. Brave, brave Myne. I salute you (and Atala)! For helping erode the misgivings many Nigerians have, and for putting yourself out there. You are already a testimony: For going through something very painful, still standing, and still having and keeping a marriage together. It may take a lot, but you will still stand. And that IS a testimony. God knows what He's doing. And regardless of the outcome, you will smile and praise Him.

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  41. Not all stories have to be testimonies, and there is no one size fits all testimony......
    Nonetheless...i do hope still, for you both....
    Stay strong M.

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  42. "Not all stories have to be testimonies, and there is no one size fits all testimony...."

    Everyone's testimony is different. The bottom line is to get to the other side whichever way is suited for each person. I went through this as well and at the end of the day I was offered surrogacy with donor egg or adoption. Neither is bad in itself. And it still all end in a testimony. Having said that; I still strongly believe God will come through for you because He wants to. Not even because you want to. I understand and feel your pain too. I am sending you a cyber hug. It is important that you heal emotional first, take a break and then move on to the next step. You have started the process already by sharing this. Thank you for that. I believe in miracles...through a needle, a pill, a doctor or nature. It's still a miracle because we often don't know how it happened. So I know you will have yours.

    Love and hugs.

    Olusola

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  43. Your miracle is coming soon. It is well with you.

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  44. the exact same thing happened to me, twice can you tell any further news?

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