Friday, September 14, 2012

More Twitter Advice on Marriage and Relationships

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"The rate at which marriages/relationships collapse now is assuming a social symbol status in our society." Ruggedman, a musician in Nigeria started his marriage tips on Twitter this way, and makes me believe this is going to become a trend. I think he means social status symbol, and if that is so, would answer the question in my IK'sTipsonGettingAMan post. I think Ruggedman nails it that it is not getting married that is the problem, but having a marriage that works.

Now, I am not endorsing everything he said. He too exhibits the same chauvinistic tendencies that turn me off some men. And, a big AND, there is no justification for turning someone into a punching bag. No matter how responsible a man/husband is, or how he thinks his wife needs to be corrected, he should not beat her.  And especially not for wanting respect. Everybody needs and deserves respect, even married women.

That said, Ruggedman made the effort to be more balanced, addressing both the male and female sides of the problems that may crop up in marriage, and giving his own opinion, which he is entitled to, on how people may resolve this in their own personalities, even before marriage.

The tips are below. Again, choose and discard as you will. I am sure the male reader who left an Anonymous comment on the last post will prefer this post :)

17.Don't throw ur spinsterhood garment away if you see respect as a big deal! Happy weekend. END

16.If u know u can't stand being corrected, please marry urself.

15.Ladies, if u know you can't be submissive please don't go into marriage so you're not turned to a punching bag!

14.u r D teacher,guide,bodyguard,spiritual leader,role model.nt a deity.So dnt expect 2B worshipped.U earn respect by being responsible.

13.There's no way u can abandon D care of ur family at D expense of ur lifestyle.Dey r ur priority n everything else including u comes last.

12.Guys, if u know u can't stay responsible please remain single until you mature.

11. from their poisoned chalice.Once dat happens,ur marriage is in a process of dying a slow death.B very mindful of where u go 4 advices.

10.u desire a successful home,bt if ur choice of friends r those whose marriages av collapsed,It is simple - dey'll make u drink

9.Don't just get married because of the pressures from ur families. They are not the ones getting married-you are!

8.Don't get married out of desperation, because u think u are getting too old.

7.If u know u can't be faithful, remain single.

6.If u r getting married cos of D things u desire or hope to gain from D other person,or 2 satisfy ur fantasies,please remain single.

5.If u don't know what marriage is all about, please remain single until u do.

4.If u know u can't handle the weight and pressures of marriage, please remain single.

3.Dey will choose aso-ebi,hire a hall n popular musicians.Even a question like "So wen r u getting divorced?'Will become commonplace.

2.In few years time, people will be throwing divorce parties and invite friends and well-wishers to celebrate their divorce anniversaries;

1.The rate at which marriages/relationships collapse now is assuming a social symbol status in our society.

PS- I don't know if Ruggedman is married. Maybe he's taking his own advice 4 - 12. No offence meant. I think he is on point in that part of his commentary.


  1. All these celeb wey dey give us advice, thank you, it is well appreciated oo. After talking , dont go home and beat your wife.
    would really love to hear omotola's advice

  2. I doubt if he is married as for me i make it a point to take marital advice from people who have been married happily or unhappily for more than two years, they are the only ones who know where the shoe pinches. People who have never been married can only talk from the outside looking in...

  3. I do not take marriage advice from single people. Simple because I don't know what marriage truly is. Of course I get advice on general relationships from people, but marriage advice? No thank you. When Ruggedman gets married and keeps his home, he can come back with advice :/

  4. Erm can this people stick to whatever it is they are supposed to be doing? Who is next? Perhaps we should be expecting Dbanj to give us some "How to stay married" tips next. These people should understand that just because they are known for one thing doesn't necessarily make them an authority over every part of life, so much that they can just decide to wake up and educate the world with their chauvinistic tips.
    We want to hear news about his music and not some topics that he has no business talking about. No offence, just saying

    1. gbam!!! I concur fully. He particularly should stick to his music and shoes which IMO are both CRAP!

  5. I am a married and I love and respect my wife dearly. I'm sure she can testify to that. However, I think people like Ruggedman should focus on other things rather than posing as a marriage counselor. As a personal rule, I don't receive marital advice fom anyone who has not been married successfully for at least 15 years. Because as far as I'm concerned, whoever has not been married for that long that tries to offer advice on marriage is simply talking theory or offering textbook advice.

  6. Blessings......
    Marriage like everything else in life takes work, not one person working at it because let’s face it “one hand can’t clap,” but the two people actively, studiously, diligently and joyously with the same zealous that propel them to the altar of holy matrimony.

    Isn't it funny how we work hard at achieving excellence in our education, in our jobs taking professional development courses to ensure we stay current, competitive and on top of our game, broadening our scope of possibilities while simultaneously sharpening our skill set and developing a stellar landscape repertoire in order to make ourselves us viable and attractive to future 500 companies and CEOs looking to hire. Yet with all our zeal to secure a viable place in todays and the futures workforce we steadfastly fail to work on our personal relationships, our marriages. Many assume the work is done once they have got “the one” and fail miserably at learning about each other’s nature, likes/dislike, dreams/desires and each other’s love languages (how they uniquely see and interpret the world) in order to shape and enhance their communication, listening, and speaking skills to ensure the strengthening of connections with each other.

    Instead many of us overindulge and gorge on the fantasies of happily ever after without ever applying ourselves wholly to the unity of oneness forgetting to make sure that God is paramountly interwoven, much like some dream of becoming parents without learning the realities of childrearing and just expect them to raise themselves by their selves without inconvenience of involving them as parents to do the actual work..

    There is nothing that says anyone should be married, however if one intends to marry then they owe it to their self and the person with whom they are entering into the sanctity of marriage with to keep it real, to be honest, operate with integrity, be willing to work at it, talk about the hard stuff before getting married, like your philosophy on life, raising children, God, money - oh yeah this is a big one, how do each of you handle money, what's your credit like, he/she might be cute but when you get married you are inheriting whatever bad financial habits he/she may have. If he/she is in depth you automatically are too, if he/she owes then you automatically owe as well.

    Marriage should be entered into with eyes wide open, not eyes wide shot with your head in the sand and your ass exposed to the elemental realities that are bound come slamming into you once the vail, frills and trills of the I dos are over.

  7. Dear Myne, who would blame anyone for speaking? Social media has open doors for everybody to 'voke na.
    Na to decide whether you wan read or not...and actually all I have read here are the comments, not Ruggedman's tips on marriage! Hia. *eyelashes*


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