Monday, August 27, 2012

Is Sexting Normal for e-Dates these Days? By Tiyan

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Recently, I have been feeling very inundated with conversations I have had or conversations that have been shared with me about men who come down hard on women because of their weight or size. Some of these men are not exactly Mr. Universe themselves. I believe that if you are not clinically obese and are comfortable in your body whether curvy or otherwise then you are good to go. Do not wait for validation, be your own best assessor and be happy.

This unbelievable conversation below is transcribed from a blind [e-]date that I was recently set up with:

Blind Date: Hello Tiyan, can you send me your picture please (smiley face).

Me: (slightly taken aback but hey I guess he needs to see the goods before right?) I will email you one (smiley face)

Blind Date: Nice sexy picture, love your smile! Do you have a picture that shows more of your body, like you standing up?

Me: Thank you, I will look and send on the condition that you send me one of yours too (smiley face) (I send one of me standing up in a red dress)

Blind date: Ofcourse sweetie, I will send you a sexy upper body pic now, should I email it or send to your phone? Nice sexy picture, I love the red dress and your smile.

Me: (getting tayad of the word sexy but glad he thinks my pictures are nice) Thank you, I am blushing, please email it thanks.

Blind Date: Just sent you my body picture sweetie hope you like it.

Me: (also irked at the word sweetie but hey..lets not be too irritable now. I receive a picture of him standing in front of the mirror with his bare chest no face shown) Nice Abs but how do I know this isn't a stunt double, can I see your lovely eyes please?

Blind Date: Do you have a sexy body picture for me too sweetie (smiley face)

I acted like I did not get the text.

Blind Date: Thank you for the compliment sweetie and yes that is all me (smiley face) You will see and feel my body in person (big grin)

I still do not respond

Blind date: I do not take sexy body pictures with my face showing lol

Me: Good Idea

Blind date: Do you have a sexy picture for me too sweetie

Me: (thinking of how to handle this situation that is growing uncomfortable) I do not want to be responsible for over dosing you with sexiness.

Blind Date: Haha you are funny, I just think its only fair for you to send me one too with no face only body.

Me: (thinking, this loser has not even asked to meet up for coffee) Hmmm i think it is too soon, when I get super comfy with you I will send you as many as you desire, deal??? What are your plans for today?

Blind date: It does not have to be naked sweetie just your body like what you wear to sleep or the beach. I want to see what your body looks like, can't tell with the pics you sent (sad face) and by the way by that time I will have seen your body all in person (smiley face).

Me: (As if!!! getting irritated now and wondering what to do) Lol, Sad face??? That's not fair You are boxing me to a corner, I will see if I can find pictures from beach vacations.

Blind date:You could always take a picture, the picture I sent you I just took it.

I ignore him and 20 minutes later, he asks me again.

Me: I am absolutely not comfortable sending you pictures of my body. Do not take it the wrong way but I can't do it. (smiley face).

Blind Date: I guess you are out of shape or something and not proud of your body??? I am looking for someone who is open with their sexuality, I guess you are not! take care sorry to bother you! I am not looking for someone who is fat, so I am not interested since you r not what I am looking for take care God bless.

I Ignore him

Blind date: I like big breasts and small waists which you don't have as well (sad face)

Me: (now utterly fed up and worked up and amazed that he will mention God in all of this) If I had a daughter and she sends a picture of her naked body to a man she has never met or spoken to, what kind of impression would she be sending? I wonder!!! I am not fat, I have never been and do not plan to be, I am proud of my banging size 4 body and my sexuality but I will not be bullied by you to show it because I do not know you well enough and I am certainly not looking for someone who is only interested in my slim body. so you take care of yourself.

Blind Date: Whatever!!! I am sure your body is not as good and hard as mine ha ha ha good luck! If it were, you would show it and be proud to show it off.

I Ignore him

Blind Date: Dude its just a bloody picture, you must be hiding something, belly rolls, small breasts etc there are too many tricks they have now to fake being in shape.

I completely ignore him because clearly he is a mad man. May I point out that this conversation was with a 42 year old man who owns his own business in the US!!!!! Is this normal?
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Tiyan Blogs at I Cook, You Eat and is a regular reader of this blog.






35 comments:

  1. Is not normal,d guy must b sick......lol

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  2. Sadly, when I used to chat in Nigeria with people, sometimes you end up with ...madness like this. I once had a guy that asked me before anything (Usual 'Sweetie' etc) "You have hair down?" I was flabbergasted. I said nothing. He asked again. "Have hair down?" so I said "No."

    He launched into a lecture about pubic hair and how I was not proud of myself and went away.

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    Replies
    1. OMG! See me thinking hair down meant letting your hair down instead of packing it up... Oh my dayz... nothing I no go see

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    2. No Way!!!! That takes the cake.

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    3. LOLOLOLOLOL!!! That's so gross!!!

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    4. Wow....don't dey sell porn movies in Naija again? If he wants to see 'hair down', he should go and buy the latest nah!

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    5. That guy needs help.

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    6. Ah! Fear caught me well well. I was like 'Shuo, did they send you to use my 'hair down' for something?' Granted I wasn't using it for anything but it was still mine. Damn.

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  3. Lmao @ "I do not want to be responsible for over dosing you with sexiness."

    Absolutely hilarious... yeah, I'm just going to stick to the traditional way of meeting men

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  4. I just wish i was a bird so i can shit on his head. The nerve. I liked how you handled it though. Very calm smh

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  5. That's crazy! Who the hell does that? He's 42? LAWD! These old men "trying to be down" I guess! No normal person sends someone they've never met a suggestive pic of themselves! It's just errr...TACKY!!! Love how you handled it! People are crazyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

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  6. LOL!!! Sadly, some men equate attitude like this as confidence and some women succumb.

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  7. People saying 'love how you handled it'...Me I don't like how u handled it one bit! I mean, let's assume the first time he said it, he said it in error. After the second time, you should have asked him if he was well brought up!
    I don't even want to believe people like this still exist especially when you say he's 42! If 20 yr old pikin behaves like this, dem suppose slap am.

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  8. I think it is normal among the younger set between 16 and 25, but anyone older should know better if they have a serious relationship in mind. If not they just want sex from you.

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  9. Wow....First conversation?! Definitely not normal. You are a better person than me, i swear. I would have handed his ass back to him by the time the conversation was over. Old goat.

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  10. Mouth open. Lady you've got oodles of patience.
    I don't think sexting is normal for edates..then again people have different reasons for searching for internet dates. Those who want sex as opposed to love might not be offended by this old goats conversation.

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  11. LMAO!! Crazy........:-D!!!! No, it isn't normal...considering that you do not have any form of relationship with him. He sounds like a child. Good Riddance to BAD rubbish.

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  12. Good riddance to bad rubbish! "I do not want to be responsible for over dosing you with sexiness." Best reply ever! What in the world is wrong with this man? Sexting between married peeps I get (even tho I still cringe), but what's up with this phony? I'm a little disturbed by the idea of someone wanting to see my body like that...and when he's prejudiced too! I might be wrong but in this case that hot body should belong to someone else, not a potato mouth.

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  13. It's sad that in this day and time when we are constantly teaching our children how to stand up to bullies, that adults in their 40's are cyber-bullying. Good for you that you made a stand to be confident and secure in who you are and didn't feel the need to bow down to his pressures. I think we all have to know who we are and feel confident in that. Obviously this man has some insecure issues of his own that he must deal with.

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  14. Wow. That totally belongs in the "bad, bad dates" files! There used to be this blog called "Some Men are Toads", and this would have fit nicely as a story on there. But I can't find that blog now :(

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  15. Blessings.....
    To each his/her own. I think one has to establish for their selves if sexing is part of their thing and be mindful of the standard they set in the beginning that may convey things about them that really is not in alignment with who they are. Sexing to me is akin to sex on the first, second, third or fourth date all of which for me is a bad idea but that’s just me. It sends the message that you are ready for anything and gives the other person the notion that you have no boundaries, unless that is the message one wants to convey I would suggest by passing the sexing aspect of dating.

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  16. lol na wa o


    But come to think of it, I have this single male friend on my bbm and whenever i put up a pic of any of my female friends, I get pinged asking if I have a closer pic or if they have big breasts in reality or are wearing padded bras in the pic and how their butts are cos they can't see it clearly in the pic. I have not deleted him off bbm because he is my sister's ex-boss and a family friend who is sane on a normal day and very intelligent in the IT world, so i just smile and reply that "she is not even single sef" and he goes, "i tire for you o, all your friends are never single, still give me her pin i like her breast, its for her to decide to leave her boyfriend or not". I would reply with lol and ignore all other messages. When I put up a pic of another female friend, the convo repeats itself all over again. If the girl happens to be just ok, he would ping saying "ahn ahn, this girl no just get front or back, how come you're her friend? so thin and shapeless, abeg change this dp jare, i can't even ask for her pin", and i would still reply with the ":) she is not even single sef".

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  17. lol,funny enough, ive had this kind of conversation loads of times. one of em actually sent me his pictures of him holding his penis,and insisted i sent one of me holding my breast, when i refused,he called me all sorts of names and said he only "friends" matured people who can think and reason at the same level with him...and then he deleted me cos i was too immature.

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    Replies
    1. LOL!!! He's obviously the immature one. Wonders will never cease.

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  18. if we are to be real, sexting is much more common than is admitted on this page. Infact one of the reasons why the Blackberry fone has thrived in Nigeria is sexting. I however find it strange that this blind date man would ask for a pic even before 'hostilities' commence. Id like a real-er piece on sexting and not from the pov of someone who obviously is disgusted by it.

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  19. this is ridiculous and disrespectful....Jeez

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  20. Eewww...that guy has serious mental issues!

    Sounds like a perv with some disturbing fetish....him talking about sexuality and all that...
    Is he really a 42 year old biznessman? What kind of bizness would such a nutcase be into? peddling porn pics?


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  21. This is utter crap. I would never have a conversation like this with someone I have not seen before. *weird*

    Thank you so much for the visit to my blog and your lovely comment.

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    Replies
    1. I wonder why men behave like this these days. Real creepy. I got a marriage proposal via BBM from a dude I have only seen a total of 5 times *rolling eyes*. It is just creepy, is it part of the small world syndrome or what?

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  22. Ewwwwwww, that guy has some serious issues. & he claims to be 42yrs, double Ewwwwwwww.

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  23. Sexting is indeed normal, some people just want to have a fun time with those they meet online.

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  24. I don't know if I could be that bold to do things like that.

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  25. That totally belongs in the "bad, bad dates" files! There used to be this blog called "Some Men are Toads", and this would have fit nicely as a story on there. Visit Site But I can't find that blog now :(

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  26. Sexting is evil. I love the way you kept off from the rest of the conversation jare!

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