Saturday, July 28, 2012

Why Will You Forgive A Woman Who Cheats?

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"I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

Now, the title of this post is a question is for the men. And the women who love and know them well, of course.

It recently surfaced that Kristen Stewart of the Twilight fame was cheating on Robert Pattinson, her boyfriend of 3 years. She admitted to cheating and issued a public apology, which I have quoted above. Heartfelt or not, genuine or not, it is an apology, and more than some men would give if found out. In fact, earlier this week, we were discussing a man who may, or may not, be cheating and how unrepentant he was.

It's instructive to note that in the Kristen Stewart case, the spotlight is not as fixed on her cheating partner who actually has more to answer for, being married with children and all. This seems to bear out the societal double standards, like a man can cheat but not a woman. The normative thinking being that men are wired not to be faithful, but women are definitely socialized to be moral and upstanding. So for a woman to cheat, she has deviated more from the norm than a man who does the same.

Now, common knowledge has it that men find it harder, if not impossible, to forgive a woman who cheats. I don't know how general this is because I have heard of men who forgave their cheating girlfriends or wives for one reason or the other. I'm interested in those reasons. In a post last year on women and their cheating husbands, there was a debate on the other side of the equation, on women who forgive infidelity and stay in a relationship or marriage. Today, let's flip it.

Why would you forgive a woman who cheated on you? Will you even forgive? And if you forgive, will you remain in the relationship/marriage?






17 comments:

  1. I think she should be forgiven if the remorse is genuine and the apology heartfelt, unless of course the relationship had run its course and was destined for the rocks anyway.And i feel you on the double standards,especially here in Africa.Its almost like men are expected to cheat on their partners,but a woman who cheats becomes a pariah.

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  2. Love is annoyingly strong and makes a fool of even the wisest of us.Love is the only reason a man will forgive a cheaper partner and still be in the relationship or marriage.

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  3. Depends. If she confessed to me, maybe. But if she was caught like this chick, out she goes.

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  4. Kick her to the kerb

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  5. y should dis be a question when men do worse and get away with it.its nt a mans world anymore pple shld realize that.we make mistakes,deal with it or move on

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  6. At first, I thought the story was just rumors till I read the apologies...she is young and the director took advantage of her. I don't get why the whole world is blaming her. Yes she cheated on her boyfriend, but here is a man who cheated on this wife and mother of this kids with a young girl and the world is not saying anything. I hate the double standards of our world. I hope she find happiness soon.

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    1. Exactly. No one seems to be concerned about the man

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  7. I hate the double standards too Lara. I don't see why I can forgive a man who cheats on me but he cant forgive me if the tables are turned.

    And Myne... whatever the men here says, be rest assured that even if they forgive and stay in the relationship...it wont last.

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  8. Kai, i just feel sorry for the girl.i dont know why but i feel like shes being somewhat of a victim in all this.She might have felt trapped in her relationship with Rob and instead fell into the hands of the Perv of a director who prolly took advantage of her vulnerability.
    that been said,I think she should have had some compassion for Rob and released him from the relationship if she felt like she wanted to see other people.Basically Rob,Kirsty(to some degree) and Liberty Ross are all victims.BUT THAT RUPERT SANDERS,ANOFIA!

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  9. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the cheating and if I have been faithful myself.

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  10. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the cheating and if I have been faithful myself.

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  11. It depends on the circumstances surrounding the cheating and if I have been faithful myself.

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  12. I'll definitely forgive buh the relationship is certainly over...There's no way I can trust such a person... and I cant be in a relationship where I'll keep doubting your every move..for that reason I don't think I would continue...

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  13. Cheating is cheating...she always had a choice. I don't care if it's a married man or an actress cheating on her boyfriend. It's NEVER ok. If someone cheats once, they can do it again. Bye-bye!

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  14. I agree with the double standard comment. It is what it is. A guys ego is one of the strongest things he holds on to. That the whole world now knows she cheated is a major bruise on that ego. I feel bad for her though cos Americans can be so unforgiving. Major companies will probably not want anything to do with her again. Think Chris Brown and Tiger Woods. I really hope this doesn't affect her career cos like we are seeing she's taking majority of the backlash. Poor girl.

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  15. I guess guys will wake up to the rude fact that it is no longer a man's world, cos women are beating them to their game....if a woman can take back a cheating boyfriend or hubby, men should be ready to do same too and with open arms....

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  16. I totally disagree with you myn, as it depends on which of the cheats is more popular ie Bill Clinton, Rooney, Jude law and the list goes on. She's the one on the big screen while he is behind the big screen so she'll automatically be picked on

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