Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dear Myne - My Husband is Unfaithful and not Repentant

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Why is it that it's generally difficult for men to say they are sorry for an action that is so glaring that they erred in. How do you advise a woman to react when her husband called her gsm number thinking it is his girl friend's number? And then to be claiming that he did it intentionally because he has a free credit.

I had just jisted with my husband in our room around 10.00pm some days ago when he said he had to use the toilet. I took the opportunity to check a few things around the house including the children and the kitchen. A few minutes later, same day same house, I heard my phone ringing. I went to pick it in the parlor and it was my husband.

He called me baby, which he rarely does and started jisting with me on off topic matters, nothing we had said before in the bedroom. I pretended too, until he realised his mistake when the conversation was not flowing as expected.

I went into the bedroom and confronted him but he is insisting he knew he was calling my number and just felt like using his free MTN weekend credit. I asked about calling me baby and he said and so what?

The thing is that he didn't say anything I can really hold on to but I am sure that call was not meant for me and the fact he is denying it makes me even more suspicious.

Myne I want you to throw it open to your numerous audience, will love to hear their reactions too, thanks.







33 comments:

  1. the fact that he did not recognize her voice is VERY disturbing...

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  2. @Abi Tobi: that's a good point. was he so excited he didnt notice it was his wife? lol
    Ok. I shouldn't laff shaa. I think the 'adultery is still at the beginning stage' - conversations only not sex. If i were her this is the time to talk and tackle issues in the marriage and spice up their life....

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    1. Note: I am not putting the burden of safeguarding the marriage on her but I believe women sometimes tend to forget their husband in the name of caring for the home or kids. Don't do it all alone and tire yourself out. Involve him.

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  3. I don't even know what to advice at this point.The man is obviously high on something.

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    1. He's apparently high on another woman.

      Denying stuff after you were caught red-handed is just insulting her intelligence.

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  4. WOW!!! That's all I can say for now...

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  5. lol@A-9ja-Great, the guy is high on something:-)

    hmmm, the e-mail is a little vague, I guess there are some fundamental issues in this relationship already that needs addressing.

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  6. You don't need him to explain anything just tell him you know the truth that he should just be careful with whatever he is doing and do not try any nonsense with you again and incase he does not know you know the girl, he should not push you to do what he will not like threaten him becos he is just starting the relationship from the look of things

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  7. I agree with Bukky. There is a lot unsaid in this email. Has there been a history of infidelity in the past (either side)? Has he been acting oddly (other than this instance)? Has the spark gone out? Do you two connect still? How often do you do fun, unexpected things only with each other (no kids involved!)?

    These are some things to start looking into. Your relationship may need to be spiced up...

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  8. My only candid advice.. if u are suspicious and refuses to tell the truth.. do a test.... I will fear such a person soo, I will make sure STD TEST IS IN PLACE...

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    1. Lol* @std test. Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ you not being presumptious?
      We don't know what has been going on. So its either the man has a history of infedility

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  9. whoa whoa whoa! Where is the trust??
    The man says he was calling you. He is being sweet with you on the phone and your response is to call him a liar??
    Poor guy. He deserves better.

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  10. I agree with spicing up ur marriage with this man.. U can find out who d girl is (not for drama purposes) to be 100 times ahead of her game... But u need to talk to ur man, like tackle all d issues, I believe it`s still d early stages too... I don`t know what hurts more, he FORGETTING your voice or attempting to cheat.. but don`t forget to settle things on your kneels; talk to your creator.. a woman that gets on her kneels, will stand tall confidently!

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  11. I don't know what is more annoying right now - the infidelity or insult to one's intelligence. The man has liver o! SMH.

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    1. Shaggy knew the MO of men when he sang 'It wasn't me'. I'm not calling men liars o but i think most will lie if only to save the partner from hurt.

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  12. Has he always acted in similar way or is this a one off? This may help you understand if your husband is starting to show signs of infidelity or a symptom of a bigger underlying issue. Can I just say that it is not every man that finds it difficult to say sorry when they are 'wrong'.

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  13. The guy obviously got caught red-handed but holding on to his lie. He may obviously be embarrassed and won't want to talk about it.

    Please don't push him away. Spice up your relationship. Do new and exciting things together. And please pray!

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  14. i mean no disrespect to other comments but Mike is the only person that has made a reasonable comment...I mean where is the trust??

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    1. oh please. where is the trust is a line overused by men. Women are quite intuitive and if he really was playing, I think she would have known. Sometimes the inflection in a person's voice or some other sign gives a lie away, especially if you know the person well.

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  15. I think he was just playing like he said.

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  16. It can be painful when we get treated like little brain..Ok...i don't know what i would do...but i think if you didn't react and acted as if nothing happened,never referred to it or talk about it will kind of worry him and he will be forced to come out/confess.He knew that you knew and he knew you would react hence he has a ready made lie for you.You need to build a thicker skin because that wasn't the first time and wont be the last.....next time don't argue with him...just go inside your closet and report him to God.

    If i may ask,is it a crime if our husband cant predict our reactions on some issues?Well we all need divine wisdom.

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  17. he is definitely fooling around and ladies when ur man starts to cheat it is not always because you are doing something wrong or not giving him a lot of attention. Some men just love the chase and they have no idea how much they are hurting you. It also doesnt mean they love u any less.

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    Replies
    1. You said it all.

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    2. You said it all,I suspect my husband of cheating,I have never caught him redhanded but the tell tales are there,I have confronted,talked,prayed but in all fairness to God,I have never been treated better and am always showered with a lot of love,I can actually say I almost have it all,except the suspicion,but why do men put us through this,I really wonder,I have been for 15yrs,married right out of the uni,still in my 30's.

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  18. Interesting but what's the solution to that? Do I stop feeling bad because he just loves chasing girls and doesn't love me any less?

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    Replies
    1. We obviously can't stop feeling bad,it's not possible,we are humans ,mstizzle,what is the way out,it's an unfair world I guess

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  19. Its nothing...Go to bed and forget about it. U r his baby after and he comes home to you every night. So nothing to worry about.

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  20. Bakinson AdetunjiJuly 27, 2012 12:40 AM

    Well,having read different comments posted by these intelligent people,i will submit that the issue should be looked into pragmatically.
    It is possible for a man to actually call his wife intentionally like he did just to show the romantic part of him...i mean,this was someone you left in the bedroom to visit the loo.
    However,what sold him out was the way he ended the call. Like the wife said,on realising that he had been talking to the wrong person,he quickly cut the call,which suggests to me that the call didnt end on a friendly,complimentary note.
    Agreed,the man called the wife 'baby' on phone which is unlike him since he doesnt address her as one,he could actually start that day. However,if he had ended the call on a 'i love you' note and come out of the loo to say to her eyeball to eyeball 'i love you',i'm sure the woman would believe he didnt make a mistake,even though he sure did.
    I pray God helps ladies not to fall into the hands of a man that wont be TRUST PERSONIFIED!!! I rest my case!

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  21. Thanks all ur reactions are appreciated but its a long story but as we all know dat all marriages has there peculiarity,we as women endure a lot of things cos of the society and most importantly bcos of our kids.But al dsame we are marching on.

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  22. for the fact that him calling her baby is strange......then they have got lots of issues and a strained relationship.

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  23. i don't think he does not know she was the one he was calling. if for nothing he should be very much aware of her voice.

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