Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Love Perseveres, It is People Who Change

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This short piece was submitted by a writer I work with, and is an inspirational article on dealing with break-ups and heart break. I hope you like it, and please do leave a comment.

Meeting someone new is quite easy; it is forgetting the old person that is the hard part. Not many people have the strength to do that, while in other cases, the will is clearly non-existent. Some find it incredibly difficult to agree that it really is over. No one ever thinks it’s going to end, but it does, and more often than not. I mean, the reality is glaring yet they hold on to a long faded idea.

The biggest delusion in relationships most times is, believing that if it isn’t with that one person then it cannot work with another. I am of the opinion that love happens per chance per time. There is not that one person that God made and said that this must be your partner. God doesn’t make husbands and wives, he makes men and women. Whomever we choose to love or fall in love with is purely a matter of choice.

However, this truth is really difficult to convey, much harder to absorb; yet it has to be done. Love is a matter of choice, that truth can’t be emphasized enough. Your happiness is not tied to anybody, but you should cherish and make the best of every moment you spend with whomever you decide to love, whether it lasts forever, ten years or even a moment.

This is not to make you excessively sceptical or hugely insensitive, no; the idea is to prepare you appropriately for outcomes contrary to your expectations. What we must hold to be the ultimate truth though is, Love perseveres, it is people who change.

So, if someone breaks your heart, or has broken your heart, see past your pain, see your power to choose whether to stay languishing in grief while they move on with their lives, or to move on with yours and become a stronger and better person. Do not let huge clouds of loneliness and grief hang over you; otherwise you’ll have a massive downpour of depression.

Things don’t happen justly, they just happen. When comfort deepens, darkness flees. Let these words comfort you. Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest.

Seek to live fully, nostalgia is for the old.


Iweka Kingsley is a Freelance Writer and PR & Media Consultant. He is the Assistant Editor of and on the Editorial Team of You can follow Iweka on Twitter @IwekaKingsley.


  1. This makes a lot of sense... Especially the part that says (Paraphrashed) "Your happiness is not tied to enybody, but you should cherish the moments with whomever you decide to love, even if its for a moment"

    A lot of people sure miss this along the way, focusing on expectation (even if the relationship aint going well) instead of loving and enjoying the moments you share with the one you love!

    Nice article (y)

  2. lovely write- up.. i love! bringing to mind the part that says '' things don't happen justly, they just happen. we do not have control over what happens to us, but we sure have control over how we react to those tins. and yes.. everything has a purpose, in the long run, u'll discover it. again, ur happiness aint tied to anyone so live happily as much as u can and move on (its diff though) but hey! the other person has, so get a life. life's incredibly short to waste it and too beautiful to be gloomy for you.

  3. Amazing! I Like that part about God not creating husbands and wives but men and women.. Most people don't understand this,that's why some aren't married yet and some are still jumping from one marriage/relationship to the other,in search of the "perfect one". What they don't realise is,there aint no perfect or right person. We have a choice to make like you said.. It would help if we all realised that relationships are'nt about making "me" happy but about making "him/her" happy! If i were to pick another title for this post, it would be Relationships 101! Thanks for sharing Myne.

  4. I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you.

  5. As much as I don't believe there is only one perfect man for that one perfect woman,and I also know that you can choose to love who you are with.... there are times when you meet that one person that just completes you in all ways that makes you... and that is why it is love cos then you don't need to decide to love em... you just do.

  6. Hello Lorlah,

    I do not doubt that there are 'special people' out there, because there are. However, action is precipitated by choice. Hence, if you find yourself in a situation where you think "you don't need to decide..." realise how that your yielding or not yielding is indeed a matter of choice.


  7. I beg to disagree,its not a matter of choosing or deciding anything consciously its a case of the heart wants what the heart wants.

  8. Hmmm...perhaps we are touching different parts of the same elephant here. Love comes to a point where it is more than feelings and emotions...I guess it is that point that I am referring to, where a decision has to be made, whether to yield or not to yield. Of course that decision can be influenced, but that doesn't make it any less a matter of choice.

  9. So Iweka your focus is on the 'yielding/unyeilding' and not the actual process of just falling in love as Lorlah put it. So you do agree with Lorlah then that you can fall in love without consciously making a choice to do so. But acting upon it is the 'choice' you refer to i suppose. I most definitely did not make a choice to love my parents/siblings, i just do :)

    1. I most definitely wasn't talking about the love we have for our parents and siblings and relatives alike when I wrote this piece.
      Besides that, I think we understand each other quite well.

  10. i want this type of information but not get now i got it. really nice.

  11. All I can say is - it is easier said than done. The issue of heart break is nothing someone should experience more than once in a lifetime.
    You really want to move on. I guess its not just the hurt or betrayal, but regrets -especially, time wasted.

    There are relationships that end on mutual agreement. Those ones you can easily move on and make positive changes. The sour ones take a bit longer. But time surely heals all wounds.
    Most times we write in retrospect (looking back) - then we remember how we dealt with it. Most times, that wisdom isn't with us while going through that experience.
    Like I said, it is easier said than done.

    Just saying ...


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