Monday, May 28, 2012

Dear Myne, He Lost Interest in me since getting on Facebook

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Hi Myne, we've been married for going on two years now and most things have been ok. i mean we quarell sometimes like a normal couple but we have a way to soon get back again. but recently, my husband joined facebook and things have not been the same anymore. it's like he spends all his free time on there and completely neglects me.


i blame myself now because i was the one already on facebook and i asked him to join soon after we got married. back then, he rarely updates his page, but now, he's online all the time. he's also on nairaland but am more worried about facebook because it's like he's chatting to someone there.

for more than three months now, he has showed no interest in having sex with me, and i had to initiate the two times we made love since then. we don't talk like we used to talk before all this. when i try to talk to him or engage him in a conversation, he only makes some noises. if he doesn't say hmm, he replies ok or true, true. all the time he's saying this, he is typing on facebook or nairaland. am sure he's not really listening to me.

for the last two weeks, he now sleeps in our living room, and when i wake up early as four in the morning, he's still awake chatting. the straw that broke the camels back and made me lash out to him and we had a major fight yesterday is that i discovered that he has blocked me from his facebook page.

can anyone please explain what could be causing all this. facebook cannot be the only no reason for this change in behavior. i have done nothing to him, and he insists during our quarell yesterday that there's no other woman. am just tired, i was trying to get pregnant before all this but i don't know if its worth it and how long this marriage will survive after this.

he agreed we will watch tv and talk more and true, we're sitting in front of the tv but none of us is watching. he's gone back to chatting on facebook and i really don;t want to start nagging him. my mind is not even in all this anymore and i had to walk away to type this on my phone . i don't want to have a broken marriage but i also cant think of how to get my husband back to how we used to be.







29 comments:

  1. awwww, i don't even know what to say. this is sad and it makes people like us, about to get married scared n wonder if the men who claim to love us now and want to marry us, will change later on and not even care anymore. yours is still painful even to me, cos its still a young marriage. if i tell you that i am not scared , its a lie. my advice, dont nag, just try and be the wife u always were. b even more loving and caring and pray hard. in time he will realize himself. am sure . but dont change who u are and have always been

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  2. Na wa! Time really changes yesterday. To think that a new invention/discovery can change the person you thought you knew so well and married. I hope he comes around 'cause this one can be so depressing esp when you don't even know how to start tackling it.

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  3. I think he is just immature. In everything you do, there must be moderation. Please speak to an elderly person he respects, so he can be called to order.
    sounds like a teenage husband to me. smh

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  4. That is just one of the effects of using facebook as a social media. It can destroy ones relationship due to the fact that you will always meet friends who will distract you from your loved ones.
    Get young american furnitures

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  5. he may be using facebook to keep his options alive, maybe he isnt cheating now, but im definitely sure that cheating is on his mind. There is always alot of drama associated with facebook, I had to delete my account because quite frankly, i saw more Bad than Good in facebook.

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  6. MAKE A FAKE FACEBOOK PROFILE!
    ADD A SEXY PHOTO AS YOUR PROFILE PIC
    SEND HIM A FRIEND REQUEST

    and start chatting with him on facebook... don't over complicate things. Why worry when you can 'cash' him red handed

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    Replies
    1. lol my sister from another mother i have a secondary facebook account specifically for that purpose....plus i studied computer science in school and have some super geeks for friends they have a way of unlocking closed doors *wink* make your own conclusions lol

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    2. WHAT IF THEY HAVE ONLY ONE COMPUTER IN THE HOUSE, SOME ONE GAT TO BUY ANOTHER ONE BE THAT OR BUY FONES WITH NET....

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    3. Nollywood REinvented, your scheme sounds like a scene from a Nollywood movie. Very devious....Love it. Lol

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  7. he will get tired of it with time, Facebook is like that!
    what i will advice she does is to wake him up one night and pour her heart out to him, if she needs to cry, she should, my mind is, If the man is sensitive enough and loves her that much, he should be willing and able to do something about the situation.

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  8. sweethrt ds is really sad....cud u jst play a blind eye to all that he does..i knw it may be difficult but u can..get bizy wit a job or sumtn..keep being a luvly wife..there r alwys tryin times in marriages..ds is urs...above all...be prayerful..spend more time wit God..d bible says d heart of evry man lies with God and he turns it whereva he pleases..pray abt it..God sure does wonders..u wud have a happy marriage again...GOD'S GRACE...Amanda

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    Replies
    1. are you kidding me? turn a blind eye seriously???? it is obvious the guy is up to no good are you waiting for him to infect her with some STD (God forbid!) before she unblinds her eyes???

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  9. I'm just wondering how long she knew this guy before they got married and if they were actually friends. Blocked from his facebook page? He is definitely up to no good, regardless of whatever form that might be.

    Time for the facebook ultimatum. To be honest, i think facebook is boring, so for someone to be spending so much time on there, then something fishy is going on. I met a married man on facebook a couple of years back and initially he said he was divorced, then it turned out to be they were still living in the same house because of the kids, one of whom was an infant. He didn't cross the line with me or anything but i found it odd that he had joined my sec sch group (all girls school) and was chatting up other girls who went to my school. I just blocked him.

    You and your husband both need to leave facebook alone before it scatters your marriage.

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  10. Facebook SleuthMay 28, 2012 11:29 AM

    like someone else said before create a new profile and add him and his closest friends if they are not already on yours that is how i found out my ex was cheating on me saw photos of him and his friends at dinner with a certain female whose name i had come across before...secondly you know you can get his password very easily and check what he is doing esp if he always uses the same computer to log in just google it youtube has a tutorial and it works...or ask his baby brother for his password(baby bro) thats what i did they boy is a teenager lives back home a bit computer illiterate and was unaware that his chat messages get saved in his inbox i came across conversations between baby bro and five different girls who all refered to my then boyfriend as their boyfriend too....if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck thenit most certainly is a duck...trust your instincts...esp now that he has blocked you means he is definitely up to no good..

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  11. There's always two sides to a story, this is just one. Her husband's sudden change in attitude and 'addiction' to Facebook seems to me like a symptom of a much deeper underlying problem in the marriage. Looking from the outside, it's very difficult to place it on anything specifically and all we can do is to speculate.

    Something has clearly gone missing in the marriage and only both couple will know what it is or if they don't then they really need to communicate to each other. Unfortunately there isn't any magic wand that is out there to fix marriage issues, couples have got to work hard to sort out their problems as difficult as it sounds ~ from my little experience anyway.

    I don't do Facebook but I don't condemn married couples who use it. However, they need to be very open about how they use it otherwise trust will be lost and the consequences can be far reaching.

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    Replies
    1. YES YOU HAVE JUST SAID THE TRUTH HERE / ITS A ONE SIDED STORY... WHAT DID SHE DO HERSELF, BEFORE HE NOW REALIZED WHAT HE WAS MISSING ON FACEBOOK TOO?

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  12. Grandmas advice...be wary of any non-blood related females/males who like and comment on every link, photo or status update that your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend puts up #thatisall

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  13. Idk if some people are naive or if im just extremely jaded but the fact that dude is up to no good could not be more obvious than if it jumped up and slapped you in the face! Love harder, pray harder, turn a blind eye...my @$$. Even if there is some "deeper issue" in the marriage, cheating isn't the answer (whether its just e-flirting/e-sexing or actually meeting people offline).

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  14. Wahala! He's definitely up to no good. Get his password α̲̅πϑ do some detecting. Check his inbox α̲̅πϑ comments regularly. When you have proof that he's cheating, confront him, and get ready to forgive. Nobody promises a marriage free of strife. Thinking of divorce isn't the way out. Don't give up on your marriage.

    DrLily!

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    Replies
    1. I ahve the same issue and i can't forgive. So how iwll the marriage work out? WHen is divorce okay?

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  15. I smell a big internet rat with him blocking you on facebook.The solution is simple...disable your home computer i.e spoil it, but not in an obvious way,use sense.I'm guessing it's the easy access to a computer at home that is fuelling his facebook addiction.Meanwhile,before you err...disable the computer,try and think of what your husband was really into before he got hooked on facebook and re-kindle his interest in that i.e You. Give yourself a serious make over, pull no punches o!,hopefully he will wake up from his facebook madness and see what he has been missing all this while. You need to fight for your marriage while there's still a fighting chance.Good luck!

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  16. Ok, so if you adhere to all the advice and get his password/ create a fake profile/ whatever suggestion has been offered. What next?

    You open a can of worms that you're not quite sure you know how to deal with. You find out he's cheating, maybe with more than one girl, you lose your mind, become unhappy then bitter.

    The relationship becomes worse.

    on the other hand.......things are already bad. What do you really have to lose?

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  17. Ok, Agreed he is like that, but theres no smoke without fire... U are doing the complain... don't make it sound as if u are that perfect woman? U must have done something to him n now he is paying u back and u are not telling us that? From ur words u say u argue... When u argue what came out of ur mouth, what did he discover about u himself, what do u have on facebook he has noticed & decided to make his too???
    To me ur story is not clear its just one sided...
    Cheers!

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  18. Trust men to jump on the bandwagon and begin to say the woman did something. Have we all forgotten so soon how addictive facebook was when we first joined in the days that it was sane? Now couple that addiction with the cess pool of sex and iniquity that facebook has become and you can now see why husband is addicted and had the effrontery to block his wife. if the roles were reversed and it was the wife that was hooked on facebook, I'm sure the men folk here will not be suggesting that the husband did something wrong. They will be all too happy to state that she was cheating. I don't have any advice to proffer, I just thought I should point this out.

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  19. so sad. dis issue of facebook happens everywhere. ma advice is,talk to elderly people n pray about it. divorce is certainly not d best option. it is well.

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  20. Don't bother yourself with the whole drama cos the more u show him it upsets you, the more he does it. just ignore him totally as if you dont even see him with his phone, he will come around... my hubby was like that always chatting on bb at odd hours, one day i called him to order that he is a married man and should not be seeing doing such and that when he's home he should be home 100% not on the phone.....now he's doing better and has totally changed.Just be patient and pray more.

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