Monday, February 20, 2012

The Tuface Valentine Proposal - Marrying a Person with a Present Past?

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Most of you must have seen this news around of Tuface proposing to his longtime girlfriend, and the mother of one of his children, on Valentine's day. I was a bit conflicted when I read about it. On one hand, the romantic in me was like, awww... that's so sweet. However, my more logical head couldn't stop with the snark. What are you thinking? Romantic, my foot. Are you sure those are tears of joy? What about the other baby mamas? Isn't one of them actually pregnant right now? I couldn't help wondering if Tuface hadn't burned his boats on the romance front, and should just keep a low profile.

So this has been a topic with friends over the years, and I'll like if you can discuss with me. Should a person's history be held against them in a relationship? This is especially pertinent when that past is still present in the form of children, known exes, and/or baby mamas.

Well, Tuface cleared the air in a recent interview. Look at the first question and his answer. "Of your three ‘baby mamas’, why Annie? That’s where my heart led me to." That explains his choice of Valentine's Day to pop the question. Isn't that so cute? And that's not all. When asked if he had been nervous before he popped the question, he said yes, but that he was sure of what he was doing, and if she had turned him down then, he would have asked again. But wait, there's more. He said he was ready to start the journey of being a one-woman man and will change "Everything that needs to change" from now on.

Below is an excerpt of Tuface's interview with Nigeria Entertainment Today

Considering that you have known her for such a long time and what has happened with you with the women and the children, when did you decide to make the move?

It was part of my New Year resolution to follow my heart this year.

How did the thought come into your mind?

Like any other thought about something important. You start feeling the need to do something or go somewhere different from deep within. Then you just make your move one time. No shaking.

Why did it take you so long to finally make this decision?

I needed to get there, you know, reach the point wey e be say, gbagam!  My mind, heart and everything dey ready. The timing for marriage should not be determined by any outside influence my guy. If you are not ready for it don’t commit to it because some people think you should.

What is your relationship with the other mothers of your children?

Same at it has been all the while. Cordial mostly. I’ve still got respect for them because we have kids together.

Do you know their reaction to this decision?

I know it may be difficult if any one happens to still be attached emotionally but I can only hope they understand that that’s where my heart is.

Other women have been associated with you in the past five years. Pero, as a matter of fact, is expecting a third child for you soon. One would have expected that the woman with three children would be your option. Not that you owe it anyone, but can you explain the reason for your choice?

Wow! And someone else would say it should have been the mother of my eldest child. Another person will even argue that it should be the lady that has been with me for the longest time. These are matters of the heart. They can’t always be analysed like that. Sometimes you no fit analyse am at all sef.

Being that you had three women to choose from, at least seemingly, what it is about Annie that decided it for you?

My mind, my body, my soul, my heart chose her.

With all these avowals from Tuface, I want to believe that his past history should not held over his head.

I am of the opinion that men and women with a history of broken long-term relationships, including divorcees and singles with children/exes, should have their second (or more) chances at love too. We all make mistakes in one form or another, and if someone has genuinely moved on and is ready to take a chance at love again, it's not for me to take any moral high ground.

Please bear in mind that this discussion is not just about Tuface, his life is his after all, but a general one. Some of us have a darker past, with abortions, secret one night stands, and so on, but we chop and clean mouth. Those with children outside marriage, or with broken marriages just do not have that option.

That said, I'm not sure I would've married someone with an ex or children. What about you?


  1. I believe anyone is capable of change only when they decide it's time and they want to. As to whether tuface will stay true to his words and change, the jury is still out on that one and only time will tell.

    I would not like to marry anyone with kids/baby mamas. Dated a guy with a kid and i didn't like it so much, not because of the kid but because of the baby mama. I'm too young for all that headache. With that being said, i wouldn't turn down a totally awesome guy just for that single fact, but he will have to prove that he's worth it before i go down that path. I'd really rather not though.

  2. On the romantic end, this story seems like.... aww the perfect ending to a relationship filled with trials & tribulations.

    On the logical end, it seems like a philandering guy who literally had his cake and ate it all kinda ways.

    So basically when he got tired of fooling around, he went back to the one his heart had been telling him it was along??

    I don't get it.

    However one thing I do get is that if the tables were turned and she was the one in his shoes, 9/10 this wouldn't be the case.
    Either way, I wish them the best of luck.

    p.s- I actually really like 2face,very talented humble guy but I sincerely do not wish to be in his fiance's shoes ever!
    It's just way too much for my mind to process.

  3. I believe change comes with maturity. I don't, however, think change is complete if there's a baby mama in the wings. Anyway, I wish them luck and life's happiest blessings.

  4. I think I now understand why your page is titled "Romance meets life" 'cos you have to face reality and not be blinded by romantic sentiments.
    To me, its an issue of morals and responsibility.To have had five kids outside wedlock is irresponsible enough, but to have a sixth on the way from the mother of two of the five, then you now realize the mother of one of them had been your true love all along...I choose not to say the words on my mind for decency sake.
    I love the way Tuface sings, but his lifestyle, I detest.
    I am not a prophet of doom, but keep a tag of this; we are yet to see the end of Tuface's philandering.
    So what happens to Pero and her 3 kids, and the other two who each have a kid?
    Celebrities are humans too, but it doesn't they shouldn't be judged by the moral standards that apply to every other person,

    1. This is not really about Tuface per se, and I agree with you that he's just like the next guy. I'm not saying he should be held to a lower standard cos he's a celebrity, but that ALL those with present pasts should be cut some slack by the rest of us whose past may be better buried.

  5. She has her work cut out for There's no awwww about this

    1. Gbam!

      There's no 'awww', just work. And no honeymoon either. But on the flip side, the worst has happened. She stomached it all along, if Tu-face ever returns to his 'old' ways, she won't have a heart attack. I mean, what more could he possibly do? Maybe, worst, bring home an STD? Sigh*

    2. Also, I wish them the very best of [real life] and God's grace.

  6. Hmmm... Why do I smell trouble?

    - LDP

  7. Seriously,this one is complicated...his heart followed that one,fine,what about the one that has 3 kids for him,she had the 1st,his heart didn't follow,had the 2nd,still didn't follow and then the 3rd and his heart still no gree follow that one? Haba. Those other women,what are their fate? who will marry girls with 2Face's children...anyway it's really up to them.

  8. Past and present? hmmm some pasts have very long shadows. Tuface's type of past with 3 other women who will be involved in my marriage cause of their kids forever??? Mba oo. That's me shaa. All the best to Annie.

  9. I believe everyone deserves a second (and third, and fourth, and . . .) chance. Many of us got a whole lot more chances than that to fix our lives, and Tuface deserves no less.
    That was the not-involved-general-scenario me talking, now for the pretend-to-be-involved-Tuface-specific-situation me - I dey crase?!
    If he had chosen a totally different woman, not one of the 'baby mamas', I would have understood that maybe he is just now falling in love. Annie has always been there, so where was his heart, body and soul when he was fathering other kids with other women? When I heard Annie accepted, I questioned her sanity. She doesn't know what she's getting into.

    1. my thoughts exactly!

    2. When I heard Annie accepted, I questioned her sanity. She doesn't know what she's getting into. that is exactly what i said, marriage is not a joke and with all the extra baggage,am talking fammous ,roving eyed guy with baby mamas i will definetely pass!

  10. All I'll say is I'm deeply skeptical. It's possible for people to change, but it's not by mouth o! I guess we'll see sha. Good luck to Annie.

  11. Hmmmmmmmmmmm! Young Tuface, young Anne. Hmmmmmmmmm!

  12. ill just like to know which was making the decision when he was impregnating the other lady, his mind, heart, body or soul? Annie is in for a big one but since its what she wants, im happy for her

  13. Im so sure just like Myne, I'll never marry someone with a child(ren) with a living ex. I'll never be able to get past the thought that whatever led them to having children may arise again sometime in the future!

  14. hmmmm Myne! This subject has so many roots/branches/leaves, etc...and no clear-cut/ straight-forward answer - it's a case of "different strokes for different folk" and "whatever floats your boat".

    I personally wouldn't go for someone with a "Tu-face" circumstance...but if the parties involved genuinely love each other and talk things through and decide they are committed to making it work? I wish them the very best that love and marriage have to offer.

    Over and out!

  15. Hmmm hope his heart stays on this one. Marriage is a serious thing, not the one he'll say his heart moved again LOL
    Anyway, I guess the best thing is to just wish them luck and see how the whole things plays out. For their sake, I really hope it goes well.

  16. I don't know where the romantic in me went o... When I saw this, my first thought was, couldn't his publicist have thought of a better publicity stunt? Anyway, since God keeps giving us second chances, I guess we can give him the benefit of the. I must admit though that there is more doubt than benefit.

  17. We all make mistakes at every point in time, Tuface issue is not exceptional but having realize and make amendment concerning his future. I think he need to be giving a chance to prove himself that truly he has change and decided to leave a better life likewise every one that might be going through the same or similar thing

  18. Hmmmn. I've always wondered @ this scenario too.its way too messy. I believe we all deserve 2nd chances and we shldnt judge one anoda.pple make mistakes and sometimes we dnt get it right the first try.
    As for the 2face situation, all the babymamas knew what they were getting into and didn't take precautions in protecting themselves. Hence,they are not exonerated.if you got pregnant the 1st time,what of the 2nd and 3rd time? That's a choice you made na!
    And as bad as we may paint the picture, even 2face desired to settle down with a woman he loves and he did. And if annie decided to be blind to all his past sins and still accept him,its their choice. She'l deal with the challenges when they come.
    And for the other 2 babymamas,I'm sure they knew this was a gamble and they are faced with the choices they made too.

  19. Everyone's commenting on how Annie shouldn't have accepted the proposal. She messed up too, what's is about these lady's opening their legs anyhow especially if the person is popular/a celebrity. Where have our sense of morality gone to? She had NO other choice than to accept or I don't know many Nigerian men that will be willing to marry her. I'm not judging or condemning but I know for sure Tuface was never accused of rape, so the ladies willingly committed fornication with him and gave birth repeatedly. Well the kids are literally bastards whether they belong to a popular celebrity or not. . . So Annie and Tuface are birds of a feather.


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