Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Debate Tuesday - Men are unemotional?

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Or more rightly, Nigerian men are both unemotional and unromantic. Who says?

I had a discussion with a friend recently on writing romance set in Nigeria and she believes it is highly unrealistic. I thought it was because of the western/African dichotomy in romance where a few people I met during my readings mentioned that most Nigerians find it hard to say I love you and would rarely give flowers and such. Now that I understand, even though I think even the gap is lessening as more and more imbibe the foreign gestures through movies, books, education abroad, dating other races, etc.

But where exactly does it come from this "Nigerian men are unemotional?" Is it from the culture and upbringing or what? Does being unemotional mean they feel nothing for the women they're with or they hide it and prefer not to voice it out? Also we should be bear in mind that emotions are not just about love and affection, anger is also an emotion. How come our men are comfortable showing that side of them to the extent of Domestic Violence but find it hard to be more sensitive when it comes to relationships? Some male reviewers of AHTM have found Edward too emotional and soft, hear one..
...I do wonder why a tough-minded Edward, who had the world at his feet, was sort of soft. It was easy for any tough-minded man like Edward to say, ‘I love you’ even if it was a lie, just to establish a one night affair with any lady. It was easy for a tough-minded man like Edward to relieve himself with prostitutes … But Whitman stigmatized her Edward with a weakness which was rare. Whitman’s tough-minded Edward couldn’t double-date neither could he raise a voice against Gladys. SOURCE

So is that our idea of Nigerian men; brutish, unfaithful and harsh to their women?

Please share your thoughts.