Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Rollercoaster Ride - Real Love Story

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By Naija Mum in London

Dare I say that this story reminded me of Efe and Kevwe of A Love Rekindled? I'm more convinced that love is real, and my stories really happened to some people. Read on...and if you're the first to comment, you get the COMPLETE A Love Rekindled EBook.


I like using analogies whenever I tell a story and this time will be no different.

I choose to compare my love journey – with my hubby, YL – to a rollercoaster. If you have ever been on a roller coaster ride (or seen one at an amusement park); you will know that this ride is full of twists and turns – there is THE CAUTIOUS SLOW START, followed by THE EXCITING BUILD UP (as one approaches a scary height or twist), then comes THE SICKENING DROP and then THE REASSURING STEADY COAST as the ride approaches THE WELCOME FINISH!

The Cautious Slow Start:

The first time I met YL, I was in my second year at UNIBEN. I walked into the lecture room and noticed him straightaway - because he was quite tall and handsome. I later found out that he was a friend of a friend (SO). SO was my classmate in UNIBEN and we had been friends from secondary school days.

Well, YL said that it was love at first sight for him. However, it was not the same for me. This was because I had a boyfriend at that time. Even though that relationship was already on its last legs, I still did not consider a relationship with YL because I felt he was too worldly wise and I wasn’t too sure of his intentions. I really was wary of guys in general!

I was also reluctant to go out with YL because I was concerned about gaining a ‘bad reputation’ on campus. You see, in those days, we were quite a close knit community on campus – everyone knew your business and I really did not want to be seen as jumping from one relationship to another!

Well, after a lot of ‘chasing’ – involving lots of suya, cakes, night strolls and restraurant visits - and positive feedback about YL from my good friend, SO grew to become a good (platonic) friend. In fact his gentle, supportive nature meant I began looking forward to seeing him instead of my feckless boyfriend. When I eventually I split up with my then boyfriend - a year after I first met YL, we became an item.

The exciting build up:

YL and I grew closer and closer and I can honestly say that we were one of the most loved up couples on campus. Even when we were away from each other, we thought of one another. To say we were soulmates is an understatement.

What I particularly loved about YL was that he was the first person who made me feel totally and absolutely loved. He was not afraid to show his love and this was refreshing to me. I say ‘refreshing’ because I grew up in a household where feelings were not discussed. This could be frustrating as a lot of issues were often swept under the carpet. This upbringing made me a bit reserved and independent. Indeed, I had a part-time job all through my university days and I was a bit of a tomboy – impatient when it came to emotional issues and more comfortable with male friends.

As I said, we became soul mates and remained a couple all through university. The funny thing is that YL never actually proposed, but he made it clear that our relationship was to end in marriage. From when we were in our final year, he was already making plans for our life together. However, as we approached the end of our final year, I started to get worried about whether our relationship would survive the ‘outside world’. You see, YL has always been the optimist in our relationship, while I have always been the worrier, the realist, the pragmatic one.

The first test of our relationship came when we were posted to different states for our Youth Service. Contrary to what I feared, we grew closer as we savoured out time together – whenever we got together.

Our relationship was tested again when, a year after we graduated, YL decided to leave for the UK. I was supportive of his choice but I chose to stay behind in Nigeria because I was already gainfully employed – in a well paid job. The plan was that we would keep in touch and maintain a long distance relationship. Well, that was the plan.

The sickening drop:

Unfortunately, our well-laid plans did not fall into place and I have to confess that I was to blame. Yes....not the guy this time - ME!

I cannot make excuses for this but looking back, I can see now that living alone in Lagos, with the responsibility of running a business, managing my own flat and overseeing a small workforce of people....I grew overwhelmed and lonely. This was 1992, with very few mobile phones, no emails and snail-speed communication (in the form of posted letters)

I was 21 years old at the time and I guess the weight of being the responsible girl (taking care of my younger ones, being in a steady relationship and managing a business) just got to me. Unfortunately, at the same time I was going through this internal turmoil, I was being courted by someone else – and I succumbed.

Sadly, when YL paid a visit to Nigeria after a year in the UK, I told him about this other person. Looking back, I could have lied to YL, but I could not bring myself to do so. YL was devastated and betrayed! I still recall that period as one of the worst periods in my life. I was a walking zombie because I was so torn and confused.

However, I still could not keep away from YL and I went to see him at the airport on the day he returned to the UK. We shed a lot of tears together – holding hands silently as we both pondered over the sadness of shattered shared dreams. His last words to me as he left me to board the plane.....’Just remember that I will always love you.’

I believe his plane had not even touched down in London before I realised my mistake – of letting the love of my life go! I thought about contacting him for a while but I was afraid that the mess I had created was too much to overcome.

After a lot of soul searching, I decided he was too good to let go and I contacted him – by writing a heartfelt letter in which I apologised and begged for his forgiveness.

The reassuring steady coast:

Long story short is that he did forgive me. Tentatively, we started communicating again but I knew I had to win his trust. I also knew that I was not happy without him. So, I quit my job and joined him in the UK!

Coming together again was not an easy process. We went through a long process of recriminations and trust-building. I can honestly say that it was really difficult at times but the bottom line was that we truly loved each other and we both felt we had met our soul mates.

I do believe that the success of this reconciliation process had a lot to do with the fact that both families really liked each other. Even when we went through ‘the sickening drop’, tboth fathers (his and mine) acted with the great wisdom that can only come from having gained invaluable life experience. They were both very understanding and supportive. Their only comment was to tell us ‘What is yours is yours’

The Finish................:

I have now known YL for 23 years and we have been married for 12 years. How do I know I love him still? Because everytime I hear something funny...he is the first person I want to share it with; Whenever I am sad, he is the only one who knows what to say to me. His success is my success and vice versa. Indeed I couldn’t wish for a better partner or father to my children – because he is genuinely a nice, caring person.

I pray God grants us good health and long life so we can continue to savour life’s experiences together. My advice to others...We are all human and we are not perfect. If you find real love, move mountains to be together. Life is full of challenges and having someone beside you to lean on - and vice versa - is a blessing.


image from


  1. Like I always do, I will first establish my "firstity" and then come back for a proper comment......Chapter 25 please...gracias muchos

  2. Wonderful, awesome..splendid...For a change, we have a guilty female. It is very refreshing to hear about a woman who worked towards what she wanted. That's bravery. If I was dating in 1992, I would never contemplate long distance realtionship, never!
    God bless your home...

  3. waoh...this actually made me cry...the break up (the reason for the break up) and then the forgiveness and rebuilding of trust...God is good. I'm happy for you two.

  4. Great story... The impact of true forgiveness cant be underestimated. Wish y'all many more years together wiv lots of blessings n happiness.

  5. OMG... i almost cried. who said the happily ever after exists only in fairy tales. I pray you have many more years of love and happiness in your marriage

  6. wow this is such a beautiful story. i can only wish to have a guy like this.

  7.! That gave me goosebumps! Chai LOVE IS SWEET O!

  8. This is true love...because only true love forgives...

    All this stories are getting me mushy mushy.

  9. wow, been reading all the stories all morning and they are so touching.....Real love is worth holding on to.....

  10. I love a happy ending...that's a beautiful story :-)

  11. @Honeydame....
    Thanks for your kind words.
    Yes, I had to be brave because as young as I was, I already knew that finding someone like him was rare.
    God bless you too!

    To be honest, when I think back about how we started, I do get overwhelmed by what could have been ...
    Thank God we can smile today. I pray hapiness is yours also!
    Thanks for your kind words.

    You are right about forgiveness being important.
    I also wish you lots of blessings and happiness.

  12. @Chizy K:
    Yes..happily ever after does exist.
    I wont pretend that we dont have challenges from time to time - but we overcome them by putting each other first.
    Thanks for your lovely prayer. I wish you same - love and happiness and good health! Amen

    @ kitkat:
    Thanks K. I pray you get the person who is perfect for you - at right time.

  13. @ Blessing:
    Thanks B.
    Love is sweet oh! LOL!
    I pray yours is even sweeter!

    @ Lara:
    You are so right when you said 'only true love forgives...'
    Funny thing is that I have even started praying for my sons - to find true love ordained by God - when they get older!
    Seriously, this life is much easier when someone is beside you.

  14. @ Funms-the rebirth:
    Yes..real love is worth holding on to.
    Thanks so much

    @ Pretty Lashes:
    I'm trusting my God that the story hasnt ended yet...I look forward to dancing the waltz at our 50th anniversary! *smile*

  15. @ Naija mum What a lovely story, thanks for sharing. I pray God will continue to bless your marriage.Amen. It goes to show that God is a God of second chances.
    @Myne: Thanks for all the effort you have put into compiling these love stories together. God bless you real good. I don't mean to be forward but I was 1st again on thursday and I am looking forward to my prize lol. Its a nice feeling being a winner lol.

  16. Thanks for all the lovely comments.

    @Naijamum, you're the best!

    @Honeydame, you actually got the complete book this time. Tell me whether it's similar to this, lol

    @Funso, will send you the next chapter. Cheers.

  17. Awww what a lovely story, Naijamum :-).

    I wud have llooooved an autographed hardcopy but I appreciate this one all the same...
    Thank you thank you......***kissing***

  19. So inspiring.....#So it means I might still get back to the one I adore#

    There's definitely hope with this post!

  20. Great story am really happy i read it indeed true forgiveness pay and has a good result.............. all the very best.

  21. 23 years...dats a long time!! What a lovely stroy. May you celebrate many more years ahead.

  22. Wow!

    Naija mum I need to become your blog fan! Your story is unique and some part reminds ‎​​me of ‎​​me(in your house ‎​you don't express emotions)...somehow I think I grew like that as makes loving a man sound "frigid" or takes some additional work.

    But a GOOD relationship and marriage is POSSIBLE. God bless u

  23. "what is yours is yours"
    #cosign #wellsaid

  24. Naijamum, bravery is not just in words, indeed what is urs is urs but sometimes u have to get up and go after it.

    Lovely story

  25. Wow...College sweethearts, it's as pure as it gets. When you love someone at that age and you grow together, there's nothing like it. I didn't marry my college sweetheart but I know love like that - that has stood the test of time is really special. Well done, Naijamum. May you grow old together and tell the story to your great grandchildren. So beautiful!

  26. whoa lovely story...i am a romantic anyway any time and i have always known that true love exits and it does even in Nigeria and amongst Nigerian couples.

  27. @Myne:
    Thanks for the opportunity to share my story.
    I'm not really a luvvy-duvvy I kept on putting off this task (of writing my love story)
    However, I have to confess that it has been a great opportunity to reflect on how far we have come together.
    I showed this page to my hubby and he loved the fact that I shared 'our' story with others.
    We shared a few hugs and kisses after he read this - to the kids' disgust!! LOL

    @ Prism:
    thanks my sistah

    @Tales of a Girl in Search of True ♥! ....
    Never say never...if it's meant to be'll surely be!!

  28. @Hetty:
    Thanks so much

    Yup! 23 years..and it honestly feels like yesterday!
    While we believe we know each other, we still learn new things about each other everyday!
    Thanks for your lovely prayer. I wish you same - and more!

  29. @ enobongekpott:
    Thans soooo much!
    I am flattered if you want to hop on my blog 'train'
    I feel you on repressed emotions - definitely not healthy.
    I have to admit that my hubby has been instrumental in getting me to express my emotions more.
    There's hope for us all!

    @ H:
    Re: "what is yours is yours"....True words
    Thanks xoxoxoxo

    @ P.E.T:
    Re:...' what is urs is urs but sometimes u have to get up and go after it...@ I totally agree.
    The challenge is knowing what ACTUALLY IS yours and what ISNT - but you delude yourself is...?!
    Hope I make sense...LOL

  30. @ Naijalines
    I agree that young love can be sooo pure.
    No schemes, hidden agenda etc
    Yes, we have grown together and it has not been easy BUT it has been really special.
    I already pray for my kids to find their soul mates.
    Thanks for your lovely prayer. May you also grow old - healthy and wise - to see your grandchildren sorrounding you, full of joy, god health and peace. Amen and amen!!!!

    @ Tamunoibifiri:
    Thanks so much
    Yes, true love does exist.
    The thing about Nigeria scenario is that both parties (the man and the woman) have to be prepared to put themselves first - before extended family, community, neighbours etc.
    Dare I say, for true love to survive in Nigeria, the couple have to be selfish sometimes?
    It might not sound like the right attitude to take - but one must remember that a partner (who really loves you) is likely to be the only one who will stand by you if you are ill or destitute.
    Therefore s/he must come first...


  32. Well, well, this is so similar to mine. I love your love story!

  33. awww, i love your story, May God grant you many more years.

  34. @LohiO:
    Thanks so much
    Agree it's a real love story ...but we do have our days when we cant stand each other LOL

    @ os :
    similar to yours???
    Praise God for a co-warrior! LOL
    seriously though, I wish both of you many more years of happiness

    @ Chizzy D said...
    Thanks for your lovely words.
    I wish you same ...and much more xoxoxoxo

  35. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww


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