Monday, March 1, 2010

Happy New Month + Unhappy Groom?

Posted in:
Happy New month of March! This year is really rolling along as if downhill. I hope you guys are having a good time in your respective lives, studies, relationships, etc? I am enjoying mine, many things have happened and I thank God for all the milestones and pray for more blessings to us all.

So February is over as is the Month of love extravaganza. However, my top commenter Muyiwa loved the discussion so much, he wants a last one. Muyiwa (People in the Limelight) has been good to me, one of the most helpful bloggers I know. He ran an interview on his blog and he still has a cover of my book on his site linked here. So I acceded to his request.

Who is happier on the wedding day? The bride or the groom. I think Muyiwa believes it is the bride who has organised this big event for her friends and family. And the groom is by the corner calculating in his head how to pay off the debt of the party. LOL. Even though this happens sometimes, I disagree. I think both the bride and groom should be equally happy on their day, especially if they cut their coat according to their size and material.

What do you all think?






38 comments:

  1. Totally agree with you Myne I think they are both happy whichever way...may be days later the guy might start thinking about the money sha....but on dat day...na both of dem o...

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  2. shu the way i see it, i want my man to be even happier than me if thats even possible...its our day and to me his day, because they say he that finds a wife has found a good thing ;)

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  3. mehn I have observed the level of happiness and excitedness is not equal...In most cases the woman wants the wedding to be picture perfect with all the trimmings and that costs money which most of the time comes from the groom.....but in some cases it is because they spend a lot of time and money to make it a great day and so both of them look apprehensive watching the drinks and food,thinking hope my friends get to eat and so on...

    If u love yourselves and cut your coat according to your size...then the wedding would be a source of joy not debts

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  4. Finally found the blog! I think the happiness should be shared equally but we all know the Bride is usually the happiest!

    I picture in my mind the girl thinking- Finally I have a husband!

    The guy- Chei, gbese! And he is kissing all the other women goodbye at least he musn't get caught!

    Yeah I am silly! But for me, I would prefer to get married on a Thursday afternoon with only the parenst as witnesses. I don't want all that wedding prep headache.

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  5. They both have to be happy i think...i mean that's the reason why they got married-love and whatever comes with it.
    Happy New Month!

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  6. I'm kinda on the fence with this one... It depends on the circumstances under which they are getting married. Guy A married Lady B cos B trapped A with pregnancy (or any other pressures- family etc)... A is unlikely to be happier than B in this case :)

    I do agree that a lot of women have this fantasy Barbie wedding ingrained in their consciousness from when they were six years old... Maybe achieving that would make it plausible that they should be happier than men.

    Issey, Alice and Uche made a good point about cutting one's coat according to size sha... Came across a post on Linda Ikeji's blog about this dumb babe asking her girlfriends to contribute N50k each for her wedding... Even if this woman ends up "happy" on that day, wouldn't the hapinness be hollow? All this wedding stuff sef, na wa.

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  7. it depends. if they are getting married for the right reasons they should both be happy. Many men have come to accept the fact that women tend to get carried away wit planning a wedding, so i think in terms of the perfect ceremony women are happier but for a man who is marryin a woman he truly loves he couldnt care less if the bridesmaid dresses clashes with the backdrops or smth else.

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  8. I don't think it matters who is happier than the other, as long as they are BOTH happy.

    Having said that, I feel that weddings are more of a big deal to women than men, so maybe women are generally happier on the day.

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  9. Both parties shld be happy now...
    it is after all their day..
    Besides dude gets to show off his wife at the ceremony n vice versa...
    lmao

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  10. Both of them will be happy, girls tend to have more dreams and expectations of the day than guys so I guess she'll be happier if everything has come out the way she expected it to. Personally, I'd prefer to go for the Thursday option!!Lol!

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  11. Blessings Myne...
    It's been a while. I trust you are well and life is treating you kind. Remember though you may not have control of what goes on around you, you have control over how you think, feel and allow circumstances to inform and transform you.

    In answer to your question, I would say it depends on 4 things.

    1. If both parties enter into martimony willingly then the happiness is equall though it may be expressed differently.

    2. If the woman is being forced into marriage then the man is happier

    3. If the man is being forced to take a wife then the woman is happier.

    4. If both are forced because of tradition and culture then neither and the families are happiest as they are getting their way.

    Ideally, number 1 is the way and both bride and groom are equally joyful.

    Peace...have a blessed week

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  12. Thank you all.

    @Rhapsody B, I think that is a very insightful comment. It does depend on the context and we forget sometimes that some brides may be getting married but not by their choice.

    @F, I also saw that post by Linda Ikeji. The lady in question is not serious at all.

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  13. rhapsody made some good points..

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  14. The vision of the groom standing in the corner calculating the cost of the wedding in his head cracked me up!!!

    I think both the bride and groom are equally happy. At least that's what I would like to think!

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  15. the bride and groom should be happy...but it seems like the bride is happier ( maybe because shes in a designer wedding gown and has a rock the size of a golf ball on her finger ...who knows? lol) the groom just looks like hes chillin waitin for the whole thing to be over...but when i was younger i used to think nigerian couples both looked unhappy period. like they were going to the electric chair or something idk...but on my wedding day i'll b cheesin sooo hard and my hubby better be too! ;-)

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  16. I agree with you...the bride and groom should be equally happy!...Maybe the bride just looks happier because she's being catered to and is the center of attention and the groom is happy about what will go down after the wedding....he he he ;-)

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  17. I think they both should be equally happy. Women show it in a more exuberant way than men but that doesn't mean men aren't or shouldn't be as happy.

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  18. ideally, they both should be very happy but usually, u see pictures of grooms smiling forcefully and how they have to nudge him to dance well. he just has a "forced" to marry look.

    if possible i want my husband to look even happier like "i finally got this girl!" and hopefully we wont be calculating "gbese" during our wedding.

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  19. i think the lady is most happy on that day dan the dude. BUT I STILL THINK OF IT AS ALL DRAMA. AFTER ALL THE SMILES AND HAPPY FACES WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?????? STILL MY BIG FEAR... MARRIAGE.

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  20. The groom does the calculation but it I dont think it translates to being to unhappy.......
    Long time Myne. how are you and SO doing?

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  21. i dont think id be really happy thru out my wedding if my husband is being a sitting calculator, we wud both be involved in the planning cos its our wedding our special day, am not going to let it breeze thru his eyes cos of finances, a man should make the most of it also....
    then again we should make sure that the wedding is within our budget so we dont start soaking garri the next day lol

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  22. They're both happy.. for the bride, that she's finally a 'mrs' no more singles stress of trying to pin the man down, lol
    For the guy, its it's finally over1so he can now breath and concentrate on something 'more' important.. so he's taken care of his cook,washerwoman,sex giver and offspring industry..
    www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

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  23. They're both happy.. for the bride, that she's finally a 'mrs' no more singles stress of trying to pin the man down, lol
    For the guy, its it's finally over1so he can now breath and concentrate on something 'more' important.. so he's taken care of his cook,washerwoman,sex giver and offspring industry..
    www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

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  24. They're both happy.. for the bride, that she's finally a 'mrs' no more singles stress of trying to pin the man down, lol
    For the guy, its it's finally over1so he can now breath and concentrate on something 'more' important.. so he's taken care of his cook,washerwoman,sex giver and offspring industry..
    www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

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  25. They're both happy.. for the bride, that she's finally a 'mrs' no more singles stress of trying to pin the man down, lol
    For the guy, its it's finally over1so he can now breath and concentrate on something 'more' important.. so he's taken care of his cook,washerwoman,sex giver and offspring industry..
    www.askchacha4free.blogspot.com

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  26. lol, this muyiwa don sign ooo,good point here,i think i concur with him that the bride is the happier cos she will be like ah at last,i ammry this guy after all the wahala.

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  27. They should be equally happy. The groom because he has snared the girl of his dreams, the bride because she has managed to fit into her wedding dress after months of dieting, lol.

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  28. lol @muyiwa

    well i have never even thought about it o, but i would think they should be equally happy if they went into the marriage of their own accord, no??

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  29. The bride and the groom should be equally happy,the bride might be happier because women tend to like weddings more than men.

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  30. Thank you all so much! Interesting comments from all.

    @Justjoxy, months of dieting you say? LOL...

    @Myworld, it has been! What's up? I'm coming over to yours now.

    @Shorty, that's true. A lot of women do tend to like parties and weddings more.

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  31. A good number of men probably don't understand why all the 'stress' of the wedding is necessary, and women have to remember that (it's not that the men are being non-chalant about their wedding details, it's just the way they're wired). So it's important for the planner (or bride), to make sure that the aspects of the wedding that the bride and groom find most important, as a couple, and individually, and well detailed.

    Bride and Groom can, and should be happy.

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  32. i think they are both happy

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  33. Thanks myne for putting this up,hahaha i have turned this blog to online forum,i have red all the comments,different people with different feelings shaaa

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  34. Both should be equally happy... it is their day, as in jointly, not 70 / 30 % or any other ratio.

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  35. haha, this was a funny thread! I think i will probably cry like a bitch on my wedding day. I'll cry tears of joy & tears of inevitable sadness, fear, and all the other woes of marriage.

    Seriously though, I hope my husband is waaaay happier on that day than I am because I know that I will be a moody mess! A bundle of different kinds of emotions bouncing off the walls, God help me!

    In a perfect world, I hope both people are very happy & ecstatic beyond anything else. But we live in this world, so I'll hold onto my dreams of perfection for nighttime.

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  36. Myne...are you sure this question has an answer? I think we need a "weddingjoymometer"...

    I always felt the woman is the happier one on the wedding day but there are alot of things to look at. For instance, these days, the men may not need to spend so much money on the wedding if the woman (or her family) is doing very well...again a man may have been heartbroken and got blessed with a woman of his dreams...

    Okay before i talk too much, my answer is "there should not be a difference...they would only have different reasons to support their joy" (as long as both went into the marriage in agreement)

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  37. hmm i like to think that both of them should be happy for the same reason. i recently attended a wedding that both of them were frowning though lol...apparently the wife was preggers so that cud explain it :)

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  38. I personally think that it's the woman who is happier on her wedding day. The man may be happy but most of them are always phased by the concept of sleeping with the same woman for the rest of their life. lol.

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