Unfortunately, (and maybe not) we don’t always have sex with people we love. Sometimes we gladly spend the night with a person who’s not worth spending the day with. So what’s wrong with us?
The thing is that we can want someone while trying to avoid a serious relationship with her/him.
Sometimes sex without feelings involved is all we need. If you’re that kind of person, you should know that when looking for random sex, you can face certain difficulties that you may have to discuss with your potential partner.
If I just want sex, do I have to say something to my partner?
Well, it would be nice to do so, but only to find out what your potential partner thinks about it. You can just say something like "I don’t want to hide it, but I just broke up with my girlfriend/boyfriend, I don’t want to start any relationship right now, but you look so great, and I wouldn’t mind getting you into bed." If after all this you end up in bed - fine, you both know what to expect.
Where should we go, to my place or hers/his?
If you’re a girl, don’t let a stranger take you to an unknown place, even if you really want to have sex with him. It’s completely imprudent to trust your freedom to a person you know for a couple of hours. If the reproductive instinct has won, call one of your friends, tell them where you are going, and ask them to call back after a while. If you’re a man, then it obviously doesn’t matter to you. But who knows, anything can happen.
I don’t want to stay the night, how can I leave?
Offer to drink a cup of tea or coffee; it’s the perfect way to end the night. While you partner prepares drinks, you can get dressed and go to the kitchen or living room. If you are asked to stay, say that you have a lot of work tomorrow and need some sleep. But you can’t sleep if someone else is in your bed. Again, tell that you recently broke up with your previous partner and getting closer to other person hurts your feelings.
What if I want to meet again for sex, but without any promises?
If you didn’t hide your intentions from the very beginning, you just need to call this person and remind of yourself. If you left a good impression, the chances of meeting again are great. If you kept your intentions hidden, the chances are much lower. Therefore, never deceive your partners, even random ones, and don’t "use" them; otherwise, the same can happen to you.
We are the best friends; we both didn’t have sex for a long time. Maybe we should sleep with each other?
It’s a great idea or a hopelessly stupid one. It all depends on hidden motives and whether you can separate love and sex. In the end, you can stop talking to each other at all; maybe friendship is more valuable to you? Sleeping with someone without getting attached to each other emotionally is incredibly difficult. If you already like a person as a friend, but then you also have great sex, it’s quite logical to become a couple. By the way, a lot of people do this.
Do I need to warn my partner that I have more than one lover?
It is absolutely necessary; it’s called honesty. Also, it’s almost the only way to avoid offenses and unpleasant situations. You haven’t promised anything to anyone, but if you are offered more than you want, everything is in your hands.
Our relationship is over, but I want us to remain friends.
Interesting fact - many ex-lovers become bound by a special kind friendship. However, it doesn’t happen if one of the partners is still in love with the other, if both partners don’t trust each other anymore (for example, because of cheating), or if the couple broke up with a scandal. You can still be friends if your relationship ended by mutual consent. But! If one of the partners secretly hopes that friendship will help return love, it will only get worse. As a rule, this happens rarely.
Thanks to our friends from marry a russian girl for providing this article.