By Nicola Reynor
If you thought the proposal was the big deal, and the wedding made you a bundle of nerves, what awaits you is a roller coaster of a lifetime. Your wedding is going to be one of the most memorable days of your life, but with your marriage you will be creating memories every day. So how do you make the transition from the wonderful wedding to the magical but maddening marriage?
While many say that the first year of marriage is all romance and roses, the reality is startlingly different. Ask any newlyweds and you will know? You may feel that a marriage is just the same as living together. But do not underestimate the power of the ring. Being married assigns complete responsibility for another person-your spouse. While some revel in this new sense of responsibility, some feel terribly intimidated. However you feel, address your feelings, pay attention to them. Do not suppress or ignore what you feel. That’s just laying the wrong bricks for your house.
Talk to your partner about how you feel about things. Discuss it out. At the same time, pay attention to what your partner needs. Taking care can be a wonderful feeling. Indulge in it. When you pay attention to your partner in the initial days of the marriage, it becomes a habit in the long run- a habit that will keep your marriage going strong and will enable you to untangle all arguments and fights. A little dose of attention can go a long way. You will know which buttons of your partner to press when, what is the right thing to say, what can make tempers fly and tears trickle, what to avoid and what to repeat. You will make life simple and marriage that tad bit easier.
Best Friends Forever
As human beings we need to feel alive. The mundane makes us take solace in terrifying territories of boredom, infidelity, depression and a general lack of interest in life. Marriage with its chores and responsibilities can often unintentionally tread into the realm of the mundane. So what do you do? Well you keep things interesting and have fun while doing it.
A strong friendship is the foundation of any good relationship. Marriage is no different. Your spouse was your best friend before marriage, the one you want to go to bed with, and the one’s face you want to see every morning when you wake up. So why should things be any different now? You married her cause you considered her your best friend. Keep that friendship alive. Talk to her about your fears, your doubts, your hopes, your dreams. Talk about the sun, the moon and everything below them. Words are magical and friendship is the essential vitamin of your marriage. Laugh like kids, hang-out like teenagers, and converse like adults. Nurture the most beautiful friendship of your life.
Tease and Tempt
You know what they say about rekindling the fire in your marriage. Well there’s no rekindling it! It needs to be ignited at all times. I am not talking about having that oh-so-desirable body or being a libido lorry in the sheets. It’s the simpler temptations that make all the difference. Tease. Send those naughty jokes and texts. Tell your spouse every time you think about him or her how much you desire them.
Flirt with your spouse. Flirt with others. Make her a little jealous. And then immediately make her feel extremely desired. Tease and tempt. Exchange looks in forbidden territories like family functions. Kiss slowly. Plan a date night. Conceal a little, reveal a lot more not just in the bedroom but in your emotions and feelings as well.
Acceptance and Appreciation
Well obviously you told her what a beautiful bride she is on your wedding day or when she is you wearing you favorite color. But what about all those times, she took so much effort to look dazzling for you, or got your shirts cleaned or made you a delicious meal! Those need appreciation too? Heck they do! Marriage does not entitle you to take your spouse for granted. Appreciate those little things. They count. Tell her everyday how beautiful she looks. Affirm her beauty, lend her confidence. Tell her you are proud of her. Cherish her and accept her the way she is.
Acceptance often becomes the toughest part for both the partners. You fall in love, you dream, you marry and then you feel Aha! Now she will become exactly how I always wanted her to be. That does not happen. Nobody changes overnight and you should not expect that. If she likes to stay indoors after a long day of work, you have to respect that. She is suddenly not going to become a party-animal post marriage. If she kept her room a little messy then, she is suddenly not going to become a Monica-cleanliness freak after marriage. You knew all of this about her then and you loved her. Why want it to change now? Accept her and tell her more often, “I love you just the way you are and always will.” She will probably make those changes you want with time anyway. Don’t push, don’t expect, simply accept.
Finally, to have a beautiful marriage, begin with a memorable wedding. Be a dapper groom in a bespoke tailored suit. Write your own vows. Say them with your heart. Hold her hand like you will never leave it. Have an ‘our’ song, groove with her, dance slowly and don’t forget to tell her and the world that, she makes you the man you are.
Nicola Reynor is a freelance blogger who loves to blog about fashion, beauty, travel, health, fitness, wedding and lifestyle trends. When in leisure time, she prefers to spend time traveling with friends and family. You can find more about her at Nicola+.