Friday, January 16, 2015
Ladies! Why You Should Stop Waiting For Mr. Tall, Dark & Handsome
By Eniola Ake
It is no doubt that women love good men. We want it all when it comes to dating the right man for us. Yet women allow what we see on the physical to overshadow our hearts so that we forget how we want to be treated by men. Though we want the right man but we want him handsome with well shaved beard, tall, probably a bit muscular, dark or fair without considering happiness.
Happiness doesn’t lie in the physical just like beauty is skin deep. Women keep making the same mistakes when looking out for a man, we repeatedly keep looking for physical perfection in a man. But does such perfection really exist?
I remember a while ago, about three years ago, I was discussing with my hair stylist about “success being the most important factor in relationship. I stated that “there is no such thing as a perfect relationship but a successful relationship” while she argued that there are perfect relationships”.
In my own case, perfection isn’t the watch word but success which I know would require putting in a lot of real effort because relationship is work.
I understand that we all look out for unique features in our prospective male partners but that’s no excuse for seeking perfection. Perfection can destroy your heart. When all focus is on getting the perfect man then you may fall into the wrong hands.
Being physically fine doesn’t guarantee mental fineness. Your man may have it all set-from the color of his eyes, to the structure of his face and then to the 6-packs and muscular arms, but what about being fine character-wise?
Can you trust him with your heart?
Paying close attention to how a man treats you than what he gives you will help you understand his real nature. What should be important to every woman should be the tender loving care she gets from a man more than monetary benefits.
A man who treats you well will be after your progress rather than your downfall. A man who is always competing with you as a woman doesn’t love you well. If he truly loves you, then your totality as a woman should complement him. He should see you as a complement and not a competition.
If a man buys you gifts after hitting you that’s not true love. You need to begin to see yourself as a valuable woman, that way you would be involved and aware of the type of men you usher into your life.
Of course you should date someone you are attracted to by so doing, you can appreciate him well enough to respect him.
Attraction comes in different forms.
Attraction isn’t only physical, some women admire a man who dresses well even though he isn’t very handsome, other could just appreciate the way a man composes himself in public, the way a man speaks could be attractive even though he isn’t tall dark and handsome.
You should take time and truly understand yourself deeply so as to know where your sense of attraction lies. If you don’t really like a man who is too fine like some women do, then you might not have a very nice relationship with that type of man.
All men are attractive in their unique way, what is most important is for every woman to know what attracts her to a man. We see some women date not too handsome men and we wonder what they are doing with them but every woman has her own taste and what she most appreciates in a man. Some women don’t really dig men who are overly handsome and that’s not because they don’t see them as handsome but because that’s not what they find attractive in a man.
What’s your taste?
Sometimes, women just go with the flow. Just because their close friends are dating really handsome men, then they do the same, they ignore the “not so handsome man who has good character” when he approaches them and eventually, they lose the opportunity of dating and eventually getting married to men who truly value them.
Not all handsome men have good character, that’s the point. So when next you are looking out for a man to accept as a partner, then be careful of who you choose to date because that would set the stage for life.
When it comes to being with the right man, your taste should cover how much he appreciates you, values you, and treats you in public and most especially among his family and friends.
If he speaks to you rudely in public, then that’s how he is, so it’s either you exit or you endure but don’t expect change from him. So what’s the point of being fine yet lacking on how to treat a woman?
Reevaluate your taste, if you have to adjust do so at the end of the day, you are the master in charge of your life including your relationship and even sometimes we are the mirror image of who we date. So that leads us to the next point.
Who are you?
I have studied so many relationships including mine and I realized that sometimes, we are the exact mirror or reflection of who we date. This quote supports that point- “Be who you want to be with” Unknown.
If you noticed some negative behavior in a man, check yourself first. Chances are you have such behaviors somewhere within you-past or present.
Sometimes when in search of a man, women try to adjust by suddenly putting to halt their own negative character. If you pretend to be who you are not, you end up with a similar you too-a pretender.
If you still have some old ways that are not helping your life, take your time to work things out with yourself first, don’t suddenly end those ways just because you have met a man who is interested in you.
So ladies, next time you are on the look for Mr. tall, dark and handsome, check again, he doesn’t exist.
Eniola Ake writes at the Supersoullifter Blog.
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