By Blessing Hammed
If you are a husband or wife reading this, what would be your response to the question, who is your best friend? Surprisingly most people would answer this question by mentioning names which exclude their spouses.
This reminds me of a program in which couples from different continent were asked who their best friend was, and amazingly none of them gave the name of their spouse as the answer. This got me thinking that how can you profess to love someone and yet that person isn't your best friend? It only means that the couples profess to love each other but do not like themselves. It also means there is no friendship in their relationship.
As couples if there is no friendship in your relationship or if your spouse is not your best friend, I tell you that your relationship may not stand the test of time as love alone is never enough to carry you thorough in the journey of marriage. If your partner isn't your best friend , this is also a sign that your relationship is in trouble and will require that you and your spouse needs to build the friendship element in your relationship.
The importance of couples being best friends can't be swept under the carpet as being best friends provides them with total trust, loyalty, mutual respect, admiration, encouragement, support, care and much more for each other.
Haven said all this and haven realise the importance of couples being best friends, how then can couples build friendship in their relationship?
First by providing attention for each other, don't ever be too busy to make out quality time for your partner. know what is going on in your partner's life, this requires open and regular communication. When you pay attention to each other you breathe new life into each other.
With frequent attention and affection your relationships flourish, and grow stronger. Doing this might not be convenient, but it is worth the extra effort.
Secondly, express your love for your partner both in words and in deed daily. Always show your partner that you love and care through your actions. Do not wait for tomorrow to do this because there just might not be tomorrow.
Also remember that even if you love your partner so much but does not demonstrate it in your action, your partner will never know. Always let your spouse know that you appreciate and adore him or her.
Remember that hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken and loving deeds left undone.Hence express your love and admiration for your partner today.
Thirdly, always open up to each other especially during trying time. Open up completely to your partner no matter how tough the situation may be ,even if they can't solve your problem they will stand by you. Being open to each other helps build the trust between you and your partner and makes you more relax and free with each other .
Fourthly, learn not to grow apart,but grow together. You and your spouse should be committed to nurturing each other's growth by spending time together,sharing in each other's pain and joy and by helping your partner discover the best in them. No matter what, you should be there for each other .
Finally, forgive each other freely. Remember the saying that marriage is a union of two good forgivers, hence try to resolve your conflicts in love and not by retaliation as retaliation adds no value to your relationship.
By doing this and more you and your partner will build the friendship in your relationship, thereby having a more fulfilling relationship with your spouse.
So haven read all this , i will ask again: is the one you purport to love really your best friend? If you response is in the affirmative , then you know you are on the right track but if not, you need to focus on building the friendship elements of your relationship if you want your love to last for a lifetime.
Blessing Hammed shares more articles on relationships at www.blessinghammed.com