Monday, November 24, 2014
9 Things Men Get Wrong About Women
By Katherine Schooner
1. We use PMS as a “get out of jail free” card.
Guys seem to think that we use our period as an excuse to get out of everything. I have heard countless—I repeat, COUNTLESS—guys complain about the fact that women get a “get out of jail free card” during that time of month. These same guys complain about how we constantly bitch about everything. They think PMS is only a psychological frame of mind. OK, there is no pretty way to say this next part: When you are bleeding for days from your womb, you have a right to complain. PMS is a real thing, and the pain that comes with it is also very real.
2. Only sluts enjoy sex.
This may cause you to gasp in shock, but women enjoy sex—if it’s done right—just as much as men do. Why is there such a stigma against women having casual sex or one-night stands and enjoying it? Women are usually placed into two categories in the eyes of a man. Either she is a Madonna (a representation of Mary, not the pop singer) or she is a whore, which is self-explanatory. Since when have there been only two types of women? Men want to marry a lady in public and a lady in the bedroom; however, once they commit to this they lose the sense of excitement his wife first gave him as a “Madonna.” This is absolute bullsh*t; women are neither carbon copies of the “Madonna” nor the “whore.” We can be ladies and like to have casual sex at the same time—mind-boggling, I know.
3. We cry too much.
Yes, women have feelings and yes, we choose to express them. But that does not mean that is all we do. We are not walking tear ducts ready to burst at any moment—we do hold some self-control. Yes, we do have unreal amounts of estrogen flowing through our veins, but that does not mean we automatically turn into uncontrollable sprinkler systems every time we see a wide-eyed toddler.
4. Girls only like bad boys.
The widely known saying, “Girls only like bad boys,” goes hand-in-hand with “good guys finish last.” Most of the time girls gravitate toward bad guys because they are simply more interesting than the fedora-clad losers who inevitably get friendzoned. The reason why we divert away from these “good guys” is simple: They. Are. Boring. You need to step up your game and play hard-to-get at times. No one—guys included—is interested in a significant other who just kisses their ass and agrees with everything they say. So if you are one of the “good guys” that gets friendzoned, just think about altering your approach. And for the love of God, ditch that fedora.
5. Our worlds revolve around you.
I realize that some of you may take this a bit hard, but gentlemen, our worlds do not revolve around you. For you Facebook stalkers and Twitter junkies out there, please understand that not every post is about you. Women have lives outside of our romantic endeavors (who would have thought?), and those preconceived notions men have about women pining over some “Prince Charming” all day are ignorantly false. Our “I miss you” posts probably do not pertain to the fact that you failed to text back. Our goldfish may have died. We could be reminiscing over Ghirardelli’s peppermint bark that only comes out once a year.
6. Rom-coms are all we watch.
Hilariously enough, women do not always flock to premiers of rom-coms like seagulls to a lone French fry. We actually have a variety of tastes when it comes to films. A run-of-the-mill rom-com is great once in a while, but sometimes we want to indulge in the magnificent bloodshed of 300 or the classic tale of Psycho. This assumption about our singular tastes is like assuming men only watch action movies. But for some reason, the romantic comedy stereotype attached to women is harder to shake. Nobody would eat the same food every day. Once in a while, rom-coms do not cut it and we need a little brutality, suspense, or action.
7. When we get dressed up and go out, it’s to get laid.
“Girls’ Night Out” is usually thought of as an event where a group of ladies dress in short dresses, drink fruity drinks, and laugh loudly to gain the attention of any men within earshot. Granted, there are some nights where women go out to get laid; however, we are not testosterone-pumped buffoons always on the lookout for the next piece of ass. Sometimes we like to dress up and go out with the girls just for fun. The fact of the matter is when a woman dresses up—regardless of the occasion—her self-esteem comes racing out of its potato-chip-laden bed and puts on its Miss America smile. We like to feel pretty and we like to hang out with our lady friends. It really is that simple. Believe it or not, but often men have nothing to do with us wanting to feel good about ourselves. Hence, cut the lame pick-up lines and leave us to our mojitos and girl talk.
8. Powerful women are bitchy.
Women can never win in this situation. If we are sensitive in our position of power, then we are perceived as the “typical woman,” AKA weak. But if we exhibit a professional attitude, we are automatically labeled as a “bitch.” Why is it so hard to believe that women can act in a professional manner while dealing with professional issues? We should not have to give second chances to those who slack off, and we surely do not need to bring cookies to business meetings. We are not being bitches—we are just doing our job.
9. If we’re nice to you, we’re flirting with you.
One of the most annoying things a man can do is assume a girl is flirting when she is merely being friendly. I cannot give enough examples of when I was genuinely nice to a guy and I ended up getting a phone number on a napkin. I understand that women can be vague about their intentions, but just because we smile at you or make eye contact does not mean we are sexually interested in you. It is hard for a lot of people to understand that women can have men as friends. Things like “sexual tension” are usually brought up. Even though the male side would more than likely sleep with their lady friends if they had the chance, women genuinely like a bit of male company to keep their lives interesting. Testosterone-driven beings are sometimes fun to hang out with. It’s that simple. So please stop projecting your sexual fantasies on us just because we happened to smile your way.
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