Monday, July 22, 2013

A Definition Of The Modern Nigerian Husband

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What is the modern Naija husband like? My wife asked what I thought and I responded with just one characteristic. He likes to eat?

Seeing the look on my wife's face, I could tell I got it wrong. So I asked my wife what she thought the list should be, and a few hours later, this is the list she gave.

  1. He should be a sexual god who is sensitive to his wife's needs.
  2. He should be physically fit and good looking...but not a ladies man. Ideally, he should be completely unaware of his own good looks. So perhaps he should be blind (or have bad eyesight) and shy. Or just incredibly naive (until of course he meets his wife)
  3. He should be rich...yet humble. The next budding Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg, but should look like Tyson Beckford.
  4. He should be romantic and strong. This usually means he should be familiar with candles, and occasionally place them around the bed without setting the room on fire. He should be able to lift that bed as well.
  5. He should have the memory of an elephant (and preferably hung like one). Never forgetting a single anniversary, special occasion or event. He should memorize all his wife's clothing so that the day she wears something new, he can immediately compliment her on her lovely outfit.
  6. He should pay for the outfit mentioned above.  He should always pay.
  7. He should have no parents. Therefore having no in-laws to torment his wife with.
  8. He should believe his wife is the best cook in the world (on the days when he's not cooking for her of course)
  9. He should believe his wife is the sexiest woman in the world.
  10. Ah yes, how could we forget. The ever present intelligence.  He should be smart but not so smart that he's not God-Fearing.  No one knows what that means exactly, but its right up there with "good sense of humor"
So as a rich orphan who is physically fit, able to handle fire, sexual god,  with genius IQ and perfect memory ...the ideal Naija husband should be ..........ME. Or like this guy below, an imaginary god or superhero.


What is missing on this list? Leave a comment and let the wife know.

I am Naija Husband otherwise known as NH. Look out for more posts from me, and also check out my blog -


  1. lmao at "He should have no parents"...kai....

  2. LMAO. Can I get an AMEN!
    Well....... a lot of women would be inclined to agree with this right here. *wink wink*

  3. If anyone knows where they manufacture this product,please give me a buzz. I'm sure it will be pretty expensive but i'm willing to pay the price! lol!

  4. so hilarious.................

  5. LMAOOO....*raises hands in worship mode*

  6. Yeah ryt... Ma kinda ideal man!

  7. No one can be this perfect.

  8. A man can't have all that.

  9. I would run from a man like that. Damn that's a man that reads too much cosmopolitan magazine

  10. He should be 'homely.'..ability to take proper careof kids is always an added advantage because i love to go to parties

    1. you go for party and he takes care of the kids, wash ur clothes too na and ur undies.

  11. he should also exist in mars or venus... cos he aint living on planet earth, i can assure u that

  12. Ahunanya WisdomJuly 23, 2013 11:56 PM

    This woman who has listed all these, must be a Nigerian woman: is all about selfishness and that is why most men use and dump them.

    He should be an orphan? where were you when his family was going through the eyes of needles to make him this rich.

    He should be rich? okay, how rich is your father and you, do you have a job, if you do, how do you support your home?

    He should pay for you outfits? Are you a leper that you can not work? This is why marriages are breaking today because everybody wants a rich partner including some men, and when things go rough, you start flirting to maintain status quo.

    So if he has all this qualities but hits you, I know it will not matter. Lazy bone.

    You, what will you offer? sex, cooking, cleaning that is if you know how to do any because am skeptical about that, yet all these are trivialities.

    Your think life is all about fixing nails and eye lashes and then look like a criminal suspect and a synthetic owl.

    Please Nigerian woman, you may wish to change this philosophy of yours and add values to yourself, that your man values you. look the difference between you and a mad woman is the values you have added to yourself, because she can offer sex, cook, clean and sometimes wear washed clothes.

    Take this tip: Have the looks of a woman, but think like a man.

    1. beautiful! u have said it all

    2. I think the article was written in jest. Take it easy!

  13. Rotfl. Abeg no vex. Couldn't you see the article was written with a playful tone. We are all just catching fun. Of course no one expects the man to be perfect, just as they don't expect the woman to be. Your comment, while true, is hilarious.

  14. Lol...cant seem to stop laughing. This is incredibly hilarious and of course I go for some, only some.

  15. If any wishes dt his or her spouse should nt v parents d person 2 must b ready 2die nt witness their own children get marid*no one cn get a perfect man like dt,definately one or two must b lackin' u cnt get al dos attributes


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