Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What The Bible Really Says about Oral Sex

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Yesterday, it went viral that a Pastor of CLAM church, Wole Oladiyun warned that Oral Sex was not for Christians. Maybe he read my earlier blog post about Nigerian men and oral sex, or maybe his wife did, and asked him for some, hehehe. The man sparked o. In his words, "... men and women sucking their private parts are equally damaging their glories. Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act. Honestly, it is simply unhygienic and dirty."

Now, I don't understand the first part of his comment about oral sex damaging people's glories, or demonic partners, maybe that is what he teaches in his church as doctrine and dogma. If so, I can't really address it, I am not a pastor obviously, nor his church member. But the second part exposes that his bias and personal opinion is what is majorly driving his condemnation of oral sex.


READ ALSO - Missionary The Only Allowed Sex Act For Married Couples - Pastor

Can oral sex be dirty and unhygienic? Yes. If a man or a woman is not clean and hygienic, or take good care of their genital health, there is a great likelihood they will be smelly, or harbor unwanted fauna and flora in that area. Indeed, cases have been reported of thrush and other mouth and throat infections that come from having oral sex. The more sexual partners the person has, and the more lax they are about keeping themselves healthy, the more likely this is that diseases may be passed.

However, the assumption is that married people are faithful to each other, or maybe I'm just hoping. Also, being married, you most times become automatically sexually active and have to learn to take care of your genital health even more. You wash up regularly, have your check up for STIs, and always make sure you smell clean and fresh before you try to initiate oral sex. If all these check out, and both man and woman are in the mood for some good loving, then let the fun begin!

So how does this affect Christians? Eya asked on her blog about the biblical basis of pastors who condemn oral sex or about Christians allowing themselves to enjoy oral sex, and this is what I have learned on the matter.

There are passages in Songs of Solomon that actually promote how couples can enjoy their sexuality and different aspects of sex. I think more Christians need to remove their bias against sex and read the whole of SOS with new adult eyes. Usually garden and fruits are used to refer to female and male private parts.

As an apple tree among the trees of the forest,
so is my beloved among the young men.
With great delight I sat in his shadow,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
(Song of Solomon 2:3 ESV)

a garden fountain, a well of living water,
and flowing streams from Lebanon.
Awake, O north wind,
and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden,
let its spices flow.
Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits.
(Song of Solomon 4:15-16 ESV)
With that said, the bible is just an instruction manual, for the believing Christian, our full direction comes from the Holy Spirit in us. If your conscience makes you uneasy, then it may not be for you. But be sure it is the spirit, sometimes, wrong things we learned in the world can distract us from hearing the spirit clearly. Like someone said, God is not an author of confusion. If your wife or your husband wants oral sex, and you deny him or her, you are flouting the some bible instructions.

1 Corinthians 7:3-6 :
The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I say this as a CONCESSION, not as a command.

At the end of the day, it is to each their own.






51 comments:

  1. I like it when people come together and share opinions.
    Great site, stick with it!

    my web site :: reality shows

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  2. Hi Myne, your comment on my blog has helped to open my eyes eh, you just taught me what I wanted to know about Oral Sex. I didn't know you are a correct Bible Scholar like that o. Thank you so much. Someone just said that today's best comment goes to you. I guess I'm not the only one that has learnt something new from your comment.
    Thanks.

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    1. Your welcome. Once in a while a post comes along that makes me think, and yours did :)

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  3. MYNE!!!!! Eloquent as usual from Madam Myne, I've always believed that whatever a couple decides to do as married people is totally their business. I don't rely on outsiders (preachers, friends, etc.) to dictate sexual preferences for me.

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    1. And I think that is as it should be :)

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    2. Well if you have a pervert mind then obviously this is not for you cos people do defile their matrimonial bed with all sorts of demeaning practices. There should be boundaries.

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  4. when people stop allowing "men of God" to rule their life things will be better.

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    1. I tell you... I was wondering what the man's own was in people's marital bedroom.

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    2. Totally agree, and some are so narrow-minded and judgmental.

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  5. Myne for President of sexual enjoyment in marriage! LOL

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    1. I wish there were some pay to that, is there? LOL...

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  6. I was told at a party last weekend that anal sex between a consenting husband and a consenting wife was a sin against God. What do you think?

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    1. The summary of this post is, do what you feel comfortable with, and what you agree with your spouse about.

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    2. Good article, Myne... interesting comments as well. If I could just add... I agree that it's whatever you and your spouse agree on, but there are Biblical constraints. The Bible mentions that one should not have intercourse with his wife while she is, "unclean". This means during her menstrual. Many people don't know that, but the reason not too is obvious, right, and most men don't go there during that time. I think most women would definitely agree that sex during that time is "gross". A person's anus/rectum was designed for one purpose: the disposal of smelly and toxic waste. Anal sex between a woman and a man is exactly the same as a man with another man--- it's unnatural, and carries many dangers aside from typical STDs. If having sex with a menstruating women is wrong, how much more wrong is sex mingled with feces? So yes it is a sin.

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  7. yesterday i still had an argument over this with a friend now i can send your link so he can see for himself that it is not a sin

    visit my blog www.the360engineer.blogspot.com

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  8. Very well said. We must follow the Holy Spirit within us. Where in the bible is this pastor basing his theory?

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  9. Hmm I don't know if those bible verses were referring to the topic at hand. I think we read what we want to see into it, just the way some people read homosexuality into the relationship between Jonathan and David.
    However, is it a sin? I don't think so ... whatever happens between a married couple is their own business.

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    1. My thoughts exactly. It is not a sin for married people but Myne those bible verses dont relate to the topic at all.

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    2. Totally agree. We see only what we want to see

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  10. Myne..this is too good. You nailed it with the comment about the Holy Spirit. If we listen to our convictions, we will never go wrong...as you said to each his/her own

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  11. The problem is that a lot of people especially the Older generation will definitely still see Oral sex as some sort of perversity. I read sometime back that a woman almost lost her Marriage in Nigeria because of not wanting to engage in oral sex with her Husband. I guess maybe this will give her some insight.

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  12. Myne u too try!I burst out laffn wen I read that post on lindaikeji's site.Songs of Solomon is like the Christian sex manual part of the bible just that the words are coded.thanks for using it to clarify for those in doubt.*btw I totally love ur blog. *thumbs up

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  13. I agree with the theory that,if it makes you uncomfortable,or you truly believe its a sin,dont do it.But saying its demonic,,bla bla is just ridiclous.

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  14. As far as the both parties are married, it is not a SIN. Shikena.

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  15. You have said it all,as a muslim there is no verse in quran that goes against oral sex between couples.if you both enjoy it do it and if not stay away from it.i dont allow my husby to go down there cause i dont feel comfortable but i do it for him cause i know he likes it,i had to stop doing it after sometimes cause husby said he no more enjoy receiving and not giving.so it all depend all the couples ABEG!!!

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    1. I like d (i had to stop doing it after sometimes cause husby said he no more enjoy receiving and not giving) made me LOL!!!!!!

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  16. The origin of all this brouhaha is the church's belief that sex is only for procreation and not for pleasure. So anything that does not promote procreation is sin (Oral/Anal) cause its a waste of man's 'life giving seed' ahem -Catholic Manual 101. why does this sound from patriarchal? lol.

    On the other hand, since women dont have seed to waste maybe it means we can go ahead and demand cunnilingus while those who have life giving seeds go missionary only..abi?

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  17. I've always wondered about oral sex sha... But I feel it may not be wrong to perform it esp if you're married

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  18. Myne Myne....hahahaha...I love it...Sorry i enjoy receiving and giving too much to think of it as a sin...
    Thank you for the bible exposition....

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  19. Nice Job Mybe and Thanks for writing on a very delicate issue as this from a balanced perspective. And nice Bible reference too.The bottom line is that the married couples should live within the bounds of their faith,be lead by God's Wisdom and Holy Spirit ,They also should mutually be responsible for adding their levels of creativity to spice up their sex life... Amen!

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  20. In my opinion,I think he has said his own as a man of God whether God sent him or not so its left for people to make a choice and concerning your bible Quotation or i will rather say interpretation.......I think your attention would be needed at bible translation department.(It is well O)

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  21. Mschew! Ginger you are diminishing your glory...IN PUBLIC! Same goes for all your supporters of demonic acts!

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  22. I like giving and I like receiving my wife must be ready for this too, the sexual organs are meant for pleasure and pro creation but it has to be clean for me to go down there

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  23. I wrote about oral sex health on my blog and got verbally attacked by a Nigerian man. Shocking!
    Jane meadows xx

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  24. Good read but how does the passages u quoted in songs of solomon say any thing about oral sex?

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  25. This brings a fresh new insight to the topic. Some good points raised here. Thanks Myne.

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  26. Within the context of covenant marriage between a man and woman,consented oral sex is not a sin,evil or demonic and as a man of God,my bible does not highlight that.

    What the word of God does condemn is sex outside marriage & cheating of any form against your spouse in marriage.Husband & wife in agreement can sexually explore the use of their body in love making through touches or other sensible means for maximum pleasures with the exclusion of anal sex which is actually sexual perversion.Anus is not designed for sex but excretion of waste product(excreta).That's demonic,shameful & destructive.

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  27. Thanks Myne! I couldn't have said it any better. Married couples should explore and enjoy sex in all its ramifactions...oral sex is not a crime!

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  28. Woow! I have never seen that scripture until now, this is goodu :d

    Thanks Myne for this enlightenment.

    The Demonic partner thing really cracks me up, was He/She possessed before the oral groove or as a result of the sucking someone transmitted demons into the other or is it that a demon from one of the parties bit someones genitals during the act hence the phrase "Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act"

    Abegi jor :D

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  29. Well, i have always been a supporter of oral sex, etc between married couples especially Christians. Husband and wife should go to any length to enjoy themselves as evidently highlighted in Songs of Solomon. NO barrier at all. No barrier at all. I believe in anything that can keep a marriage and not tear it apart. If ur husband or wife dont give u what u want in marriage/sex, u will surely be tempted to get it elsewhere. The devil will not stop tempting u until u fulfil that lust outside. So why all the noise on UNITY IN MARRIAGE. Lets all support Love, Unity, Joy and Happiness in our marriages. Plsssssssssssssssssssssssss...............

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  30. I am one of those beleivers who was sexually active before conversion. I had been exposed to oral sex. For a long time after I got born againI wondered if it was something I could look forward to in marriage. As I kept pondering on it, the Holy Spirit dropped SOS on my heart. I had never read it before. I read it and just knew it was fine with God. 19 years in marriage and we still have a beautiful sex life. In fact, we had to be apart for a while and my body went whacko. On the average 3 times a week. Ck

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  31. Myne mwah! As far as u can read and. Av d holyspirit' shikena.d bible is available to all.I pity pple who make other ppke their holyspirit.I aff tire 4 dis pple! LoL.Gud one myne

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  32. I think when we don't understand something or when we fear something is quite different from what we know, we feel threatened by it and challenge it, calling it names. So goes for those against anal sex.

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  33. http://www.toyinnomoreloss.blogspot.com/2012/09/christian-couples-oral-sex.html#links

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  34. Proverbs 21:2, “Every way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.” The devil quotes and uses scripture to mislead people. Do you think that the Marriage Bed hids sins from God?

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  35. The most appaling misuse of scriptures is to turn the Songs of Solomon into soft porn. The fact that there is so much ado about this whole oral sex matter is enough evidence that people know when what they are engaging in is improper, but want to justify it all the same. It is a fallacy to say that the church only promotes sex for procreation alone. That is wrong because way ahead of these modern times, God was the first to promote sex as also being designed for enjoyment. We should not be sarcastic and disdainful just to score cheap points! The Bible does not contain practical instructions about erotic acts between husband and wife. After some research I came to this understanding of the historical background for Songs of Solomon which has been wrongly touted as an advocate of oral sex. I quote: "Israel was sliding into apostasy. Solomon was taxing his people heavily and being led astray by "many wives". The Law of Moses had forbidden Kings from both of these wrongs-
    And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away, nor shall he acquire for himself excessive silver and gold.
    Deuteronomy 17:17
    For when Solomon was old his wives turned away his heart after other gods, and his heart was not wholly true to the LORD his God, as was the heart of David his father.
    1Kings 11:4
    Solomon presided over a progressive spiritual decline in Israel. Just like its King, the nation was becoming increasingly unfaithful towards God. And in the midst of this growing apostasy, God used an episode in the life of Solomon himself to make a point to the whole nation: despite the most alluring temptations it is possible to remain faithful and honour the covenant."

    It is not a rubber stamp on oral sex as many would want us to believe. Human beings will always want to twist the truth of Scripture to justify whatever it is they want to do, like many use the beautiful story of David's friendship with Jonathan to advocate homosexual love. Everybody is at liberty to do oral sex or not, but Scriptures should not be quoted to justify one's choice because in our heart of hearts, we know when what we are doing is right or wrong. Let me end with this quote, sorry for the long post:
    "The beauty of erotic love between a husband and his bride is something that the Bible commends. But this is not the message of the Song of Solomon! The picture painted by the Divine Artist is perhaps more beautiful than many have realised. A beautiful young girl commits her love to her childhood sweetheart and despite the allurements of the most powerful man in her nation, she remains faithful, pure, and in love with her shepherd-lover. It is a wonderful story with the central character, the Shulammite, exhibiting the universally admired chutzpah to remain faithful against all odds. It is perhaps timely in our own generation when the most common strategy for dealing with temptation is simply to give into it."

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  36. The man sparked o. In his words, "... men and women sucking their private parts are equally damaging their glories. Demonic partners have done a lot of havoc through this act. Honestly, it is simply unhygienic and dirty. http://www.keepdentistaway.com/

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  37. Its a sin and people are sadly listening to a blind person. YOU GUYS ARE TWISTING SCRIPTURE! Don't be deceived

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